#1
My Rain, My Tears
My broken heart, it fears
what was then
is not now
could you please show me how?
I need some help from you
to show me the light in the dark
it's now or never baby
it's time to open the door
the door to my heart

And then the rain comes down
to wash away my pain
to take away the loss you left with me
and this is what's left to see

Just a puddle in the middle of the night
the remains of me
dry up in the rising sun
to lighten my heart
my rain has gone


This is not one of my better ones: PLEASE check out my song entitles "Gone"
#3
Schweet.
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92% of teenagers have moved on to rap. Sig this if you think most new popular music sucks.
#4
Quote by DcP!aTdRoCk
My Rain, My Tears
My broken heart, it fears
what was then
is not now
could you please show me how?
I need some help from you
to show me the light in the dark
it's now or never baby
it's time to open the door
the door to my heart

A little cliched, some of the wording is awkward and the rhyme scheme seems a little out of place, but its decent all around.

And then the rain comes down
to wash away my pain
to take away the loss you left with me
and this is what's left to see

Once again, good idea, but the wording still seems a bit awkward

Just a puddle in the middle of the night
the remains of me
dry up in the rising sun
to lighten my heart
my rain has gone

I like this a lot, its clever, and a very nice ending

This is not one of my better ones: PLEASE check out my song entitles "Gone"


Overall, decent effort, a little cleaning up and it'll be in nice shape.
Quote by adamk991100
I'm not in college, but i'd imagine the parties like the ones I just downloaded...

Quote by Weaponized
vagelier and PinkFender_69 are actually pretty dope
Hey, one of those people is me!

Just hang on a second, I'll be back.