Something I've been working on lately. I'm actually having a lot of trouble coming up with lyrics to the melody line, esp the prechorus. Anyone wanna collab maybe? I'd love to hear thoughts. I think the bridge with its tension chords and counterpoint vocal line is one of the best single parts I've ever written.

(ps, this is already copywritten. don't know what the standard policy here for disclosing that info is)
Last edited by alexruimy at Apr 2, 2008,
At some times the vocal line seems alright. The rhythm guitar is great. The drums are awesome very well written. Great job. Iunno much about writing lyrics cause i'm actually starting to write lyrics... I'm writing a song right now with lyrics lol. So lets see how that turns out... If you need help pm me or msg me on aim my aim is ledzbounz. Can u crit my song? i just wrote it 2 days ago lol... https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=823979 ps: Once you put your name in the score in gp and u add in the copy write bar that its copy written then you should be ok. Besides its highly unlikely someone who have the guts to do such an awful thing and take someone elses music...
Click My Library to see what I've written

My Library
thank you. I love seeing something other then metal on here.

and I've got to say, this was one of the most amazing songs I've ever heard on UG. It flowed awesomely and, although simple, it was pretty much perfect. I think you can make more use of the lead guitar though. And the only thing I really didn't like were the lyrics you had during the bridge. they seemed a bit cliche and didn't seem to quite fit the message that the music was sending. It's hard to explain. I did like the last line "here I am, but where are we?" though.

otherwise, awesome! I guarentee I will take a lot of inspiration from this song. I hope there's many more.
...Nothing you've ever...
...Planned on ever turned out...
...The way you planned...

...You're still disappointing them...
wow, that's a hell of a compliment lol. thank you.

i wrote lyrics for this song that were really tentative (definitely not gonna post them lol) and went along with the same theme as the bridge. there are times i'll deliberately contrast the feel of the song with the feel of the lyrics and this was one of those times. fwiw, 99% of my lyrics are breakup lyrics.

there are many (many many) more. i'll post some soon.
Thanks or the crit on my soon dude!

Haha wow, I haven't heard anything like this in here before, it's normally all 'Epic-Power-Metal' or Deathmetal! But this is a nice change!

I must say, the drums are really cool throughout, and theres alot of good chord choices!
Also, the vocal line is very catchy!

My favourite part was the chorus, for somereason. It reminded me off like a punkyer/rockisher version of Kiss Me by Sixpence None the Richer! While is a good song!

Oh wait no, the bridge is better! (Im critting as I listen)
Amazing stuff man! Amazing all over here, perfect for the song!

Chorus 3 is nearly as good though, good drums!

Overall, amazing dude! 10/10!
I deeply regret the 6661 in my username. Siiiigh. Damn you, 14 year old me, you edgy little bastard.
Don't have a real version yet. The guitar lick is hard to play and preserve the same inner melody you hear on the GP version; I'm workin on it. My friend, however, recorded himself singing the bridge (the best part of the song imo) over the GP file. I'll post that as soon as I can find it.
your friend has a good voice. and it sounded sweet.

just thought I should reply since this was a repost of something you said before
...Nothing you've ever...
...Planned on ever turned out...
...The way you planned...

...You're still disappointing them...
great job dude...the reversed chords are great...
the harmony with the vocals is great...and yeah u have a pretty good vocals
:S when the root is considered the higher note?...maybe they're called inverted, not reversed....anyway they are nice :p whatever they're called