#1
Crit for Crit, this is not yet finished it still needs a chorus and outro. The verse of the song will be two stanza's at a time. So the first en second go together and the last two go together and the middle one still needs a second part but this isn't really relevant for criticism.

Forlorn Kisses

Silent shadows painted on the wall
Listening to the rhythm of lonely memories fall
Wondering where you are as the nightmares grow
While shadows slowly pull me below

I remember the touch of your skin
Those dark eyes that pulled me in
My kisses all lost upon the wind
Blind to the ruins, in time left behind

I waited for you in the cold morning air
Forlorn love that was never there
You passed me by in shades of red
Roses fell upon an empty bed

Empty room filled with silhouettes insane
Faces spinning calling out your name
The blood ignored above your door
Come to take you far from my shore

Casket lowered into a waiting grave
Ashes now are all that remain
The rain washes over, your face fades away
Locked inside a memory lost forever