#1
Here's another little thing I was working on

The city and the sky are melting together
Into a metallic haze of glass and weather
And the stars are shining
And the streetlights lining
Over our heads and through the night

You wonder aloud about the moon
And how come it's out so soon
But I just listen to the crash and boom
Of the night sky out in full bloom

Our shoes crumple through the cracked concrete crags
In the midst of all of those rhythmic lags
It's above my vision
But below the collision
Of unending sounds and bright lights

You wonder aloud about the moon
And how come it's out so soon
But I just listen to the crash and boom
Of the night sky out in full bloom


Comments? Suggestions?
#2
this is alright but i found it a little bit boreing
crit me? "The Peril Of Ixidore"
baSs_[iN]_ya_faCe
#3
It is kind of dull isn't it? I added some other bits, tell me what you think

An ocean of lights breaks against the concrete shore
The motion of sights takes me through a nightwashed door
But I don't need any more
I just can't take anymore
I just faint onto the flourescent floor

And the silence and quiet
Of a lifetime of riots
Has seized my stagnation
Its eased my imagination
Its left me beside
This broken suicide
As we lift above the hours
The golden heights, the steel towers

Beyond the kashmir rooms
As our consciousness blooms
Beyond the suns and the tombs
We become the crash and the boom
And we explode
Last edited by A Galaxy Away at Apr 3, 2008,