IMPROVISATION at its best! lol I'll edit it later to make it smooth. Feedback would be nice!

Watch me fall

Verse 1
The storm is over now
A new day is here
But there is still the fear
That when I turn around

They're watching me fall down again
They're watching me fall down in the end
I'll pick myself up and live again
They're watching me fall down

Verse 2
Is this real or is this a dream
I feel that I've lost my self esteem
But I know I can't give up and lose
I know have the right to choose


The battle is real
I cannot feel
My happiness and joy anymore

when i skimmed through this i could hear a linkin park song fast-forward. let me guess, the verses are all sung in a monotonous and gentle tone before climaxing to a whiny, borderline-screaming chorus.

why don't you try writing something meaningful instead of time-worn redundancies that a ten year old could think of? seriously, it's like you sat down with a book of cliches, closed your eyes, and typed whatever it was that your finger landed on.

i understand "inspiration" and all that, but you have to find a balance somewhere. i'm sorry for being such an asshole, but this is all so empty and shallow and SUPERFLUOUS, for christ's sake, that it makes me sick.
Um... thanks but I really did think about this song. I don't write songs for the heck of it, there is a deeper meaning behind what you consider to be cliche