#1
Time for me to go now
To a place where I can find
That happiness in that’s been waiting inside
My hopes and dreams there all yours to guide
Just down let me down

My happiness it seems so far away
Where my smile won’t hide
My happiness is coming soon
I can see it all in my dreams tonight

Horney boys they come and go
Oh don’t you know?
You’ve seen them come and go before
But you’d kill my happiness
Just in case one might stay

My happiness it’s under that bridge
Where my tears seem to fall
My happiness is down in that canyon
Where everything seems so small


I'm not sure about this one. I think I might be in a overly depressed mood to write. sometimes when I get to depressed my writing getts kinda crummy. I don't know though I guess I'll see what you guys think.
#2
first verse needs a little work. rearange the chorus. then your good man. It not bad though.
#3
Time for me to go now
To a place where I can find
That happiness in that’s been waiting inside-this line doesn't seem to make sense to me
My hopes and dreams there all yours to guide
Just down let me down
you need to check your spelling for this verse

My happiness it seems so far away
Where my smile won’t hide
My happiness is coming soon
I can see it all in my dreams tonight

Horney boys they come and go
Oh don’t you know?
You’ve seen them come and go before this part doesn't seem to fit in with the rest of the lyrics
But you’d kill my happiness
Just in case one might stay

My happiness it’s under that bridge
Where my tears seem to fall
My happiness is down in that canyon
Where everything seems so small

apart from the things i've mentioned this is good. you just need to go over your work a bit more
#5
thanks. I think I want to change the song alot. I want to redo the verses and work with the chorus.