#1
Ok, well, this is the second thing I've written since coming back, not my usual stuff, but I wanted to write something singable and with the weather warming up and everything I couldn't resist the summer feel. But this is UG, so prob no one will like it.

Are we in love yet?

Just like that and it's almost summer, wouldn't you know
You're the first to show up on my patio
Check out my garden
Thought you'd be a fan
If you haven't jumped on yet, well you still can

And I'll be singing these songs for about another hour
You're welcome to sit here and listen, it's all-you-can-devour
If you don't like my choice we can pick something brighter
If you can't stand my voice, I've got a synthesizer
Or even better you could sing along
Like me or not I will be admired

And the show goes on...

So let's turn it up, let's get it faster
Sweet summer anthems of last winter's disasters
And they're all behind us now
So let's break it down, a little slower now
One more for every lesson learned, here's what we found out
Yeah, it's all behind me now

And girl, I just have to ask, well, haven't you noticed?
You're back here, showing up red as roses
I picked you out the best
Thought you'd be impressed
It's not too late to crack a smile, no not yet

So come in, take a seat feel right at home, yeah get some rest
Tomorrow we can find out just where we are, where we're going
(Are we in love yet?)
It's been too long but all those gray skies are now gone
And it's starting to feel the way it was when we first met

So come on baby, tell me tell me
Are we in love yet? (Are we in love?)
Come on baby let me know
Cause summer's almost here
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#2
me likey
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IIIIfb * KARKOLI * ytIIII(mostly rock... a little funky, a little hard just the way you want it )
#3
Derek don't go all cynic on us.
It has this light-hearted, pop-ish catchy vibe. It somehow sounded as something The Academy Is... could do.

There are some things I disliked in it, obviously, just because we see so many of those. You know. The gray skies now gone bit. I know for a fact you can find a better yet accessible way to word this. I wasn't too found on the patio rhyme either, but that was about it really. I would do a full critique but since I doubt you'd change much of that, I'm going to abstain. If you want me to get at it though, just tell me and I will .

I wish I could feel this piece more but we still have about 4 meters of snow here. You get what I mean, haha .

Take good care man, give some news, I've been wanting to talk to you in forever. I have one up, quite different from what I'm used to doing, you might not like, see if you feel like dropping in there. Facades, in my sig.


Talk to you soon.
-Mathieu
#4
Hey man that is so damn good aha
a couple unforgettable lines in there for sure(Sweet summer anthems of last winter's disaster

pretty cliche but cliche sometimes works and for you it did

amazing work. keep writing
"You've got to dance like nobody else is watching.
Dream like you will live forever.
Live like you're going to die tomorrow,
and love like it is never gonna hurt."
-- James Dean (1931-1955)

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This man has the right idea.


^
oh yeahhh
#6
I do really like this.
The one thing I would say is that some of the rhyming does look a little too forced at some points.
However, it is a nice piece. Good job.
#7
thanks guys, I really will try to get to your pieces I just really suck at it since I'm never on UG, but I do appreciate the feedback

Matty- I love you man
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#8
i like it man
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#9
If you don't like my choice we can pick something brighter
If you can't stand my voice, I've got a synthesizer


Two lines I'd wish I'd written.

You know you're someone who I have never really met but you get mentioned quite often round here? I can see why with this.

I didn't think it was mind-blowingly awesome but it had this cuteness to it which eradicated any possible cheesines in your main hook. For instance the coplet above blew my mind in it's cheekiness, which is someting I am a fan of.

These lines;

I picked you out the best
Thought you'd be impressed


Along with the grey skies Mat pointed out felt a bit too juvenile however, much to angsty for me. Also "picked you out the best" kind of doesn't read quite right to me, like it should be "I thought you were th ebest" or "I picked you out first" or somthing else, it sounde dlike it was confused in it's meaning and there for the rhyme.

However, an enjoyable poppy piece that offered quite a nice read.

I'd appreciate the teeniest comment on Spring Blinds in my sig, I know it's long but even one line of anything would be appreciated, considering your aformentioned, ahem, status.

Thanks if you could.
#10
Awesome lyrics dude liking it!
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