Hey guys, I'm just now getting back into posting on UG and I have this song from my band. I wondered what you guys think of it. Thanks in advance, link me to yours and I'll try to critique it. I don't really think that I'm much of a writer, but I'll let you know my opinion. The title has nothing to do with the lyrics but here they are.

One Beat Off Mt. Fuji

Verse 1
Let's say we go back to my place
and have a few drinks?
I'm gonna show you a good time regardless.
Turn the lights down low.
Turn the lights
down low.

Dang Girl,
the way you move those hips.
The way
you move those hips,
it should
be a crime!

Verse 2
We move slow,
but we both know what we came here to do.
Let's not pretend
chivalry is still alive.
I killed it just for tonight.

repeat chorus

I keep my eyes on you.
I keep them tight as glue.
I keep my eyes on you.

repeat chorus

I have a recording of it on my band's myspace if you want to hear how it was put to music. www.myspace.com/thewinsystem
It's a rough recording but we are going back to the studio next weekend to get a better recording done. Anyway, what do you guys think?