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#1
I just got out of hospital for reasons considered 'funny' and was wondering if there are any funnier ones out there.

9:00AM I had a tooth ache so I bought a pack of 32 Co-codamol and started taking them at 9:45. Every once in a while I took 4-5 tablets and at 5:00PM I had had an apparent overdose (21 tablets and my tooth was still killing) I was falling asleep at a parents evening because of it and was thus rushed to hospital because I was about to die. I now feel like a human pin cushion because I have had about 5 needles in my arms and I spent 24 hours hooked up to a drip opposite a man who kept wetting himself all night and swearing at staff. I'm home now, safe and sound and just wondering if anyone else had been through anything as funny as this.
In/Rainbows
#3
Well one time when I was 9 I got a plank thrusted into my face and had to be rushed to the hospital.


There's nothing funny about planks in the face.
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#4
The stuff you wash your hands with smells alot like vodka in there
In/Rainbows
#5
You know what else is funny? All that codiene is gonna stop you sh*tting for a few days.
#6
i fell off of a 7 foot fence onto an upright board and it was placed rather forcefully about a foot deep in my stomach. spent all day at the hospital, the doctors couldnt find my veins, so they stabbed me (alot) with needles, and then i got high on morphine, got sewed up, and went home, then realized i missed the florida gators football game, and got pissed off.



<---- metal.
#7
Not all that funny of a hospital story, but when I was 7 I just... err... couldn't breathe properly :/ and had to be rushed to a hospital in a taxi.

I had to have a mask and when I needed it in the morning [becauuuse I stayed overnight] I was like 'let the nurse do it... no let my mum do it... the nurse...my mum' etc

I also was very specifical about how I wanted my breakfast.

Scaaaary times.
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Also you're off topic. This thread is about Reva eating snowmen.
#8
I was about to go into the room to see my uncle and a doctor came out and said "I'm sorry you can't come in right now, the man in the bed next to your uncle just died." It wasn't funny but I thought I'd share. It was kind of creepy.
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#9
i was in the hospital when i was 7 for almost drowning. when i got the IV in me the guys like ok does it hurt and im like yea when i move my wrist like this and hes liek well you know how to make it not hurt and im like what and hes like dont move your wrist like that.
Yea that's right, I want something to explode

I've been deaf, now I want noise

LOUD LOVE
#13
One of my friends (haven't hung out with him in about 4 years though but we still talk in school) burst a vein on the merchandise. I'm not sure of the details but I'm almost certain I know what he was doing at the time.
Surprisingly he got almost no slagging from it even though everyone knew...
Originally posted by WlCmToTheJungle "you have just received the amish computer virus. Since the amish dont have computers it's based on there honor system so please delete all of your files immediatly. thank you
#14
Quote by Mr. 37
I didn't say codeine. I said co-codamol. R-tard.

Co-codamol is codiene plus paracetamol, f*ckwit.
Read the damn PIL next time.
#15
in a month it'll be a year that i went to the hospital for an abscess. i thought it was a pimple of some sort and i tried popping it. it got terribly infected and became fairly large. at one point i couldn't walk because it was right on my leg. when i went to the hospital with my mom the doctors kept trying to pop it to get samples of pus to test it. i had to get hooked to an iv thing and get pumped with antibiotics.
#16
I would but I was too busy taking them, hence me taking too many. Oh, and who ever reads the pack of the tablets you take, they're always in russian.
In/Rainbows
#17
I tripped on a "Dora The Explorer" ball ,and hit the spot right between my eyes, and above my nose on the sharp corner of a metal bench. Not funny. Could have ****ed up my eye or at least kicked the **** out of my nose.
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#18
My grandpa was in the hospital for surgery and complained that he wasn't getting a beer with his lunch. My grandma said he had lemonade, but he told me that stuff kills you.
#19
Quote by Mr. 37
I would but I was too busy taking them, hence me taking too many. Oh, and who ever reads the pack of the tablets you take, they're always in russian.

I always read the damn thing, because I have no wish to poison myself that way, or at this time.
#20
Look mate if your going to argue with me about what ingredients are in a pack of pills you may want to get a life first. My wish wasn't to poison myself you dolt;you'd know that if you'd have read the original post, It was to abolish my tooth ache (wisdom teeth are very painful). Don't bother retaliating to this message. Nothing you can say will affect me. Even after overdosing on them my tooth was and still is hurting.
In/Rainbows
#21
I broke my leg once, jumping off a 3 metre high fence...

Anyway, I had to urinate in a bottle. I asked my mum "What if I fill up the bottle?", she assured me that a human usually only pisses 200mL at a time, it was a 1L bottle.

I'm a vegetarian and drink a lot of water.
I filled up the bottle.
Then had to ask the most attractive nurse I've EVER seen to get me a new one.
For three days...
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#22
This is what happens whenever I go to the emergency room
#23
Quote by Mr. 37
Look mate if your going to argue with me about what ingredients are in a pack of pills you may want to get a life first. My wish wasn't to poison myself you dolt;you'd know that if you'd have read the original post, It was to abolish my tooth ache (wisdom teeth are very painful). Don't bother retaliating to this message. Nothing you can say will affect me. Even after overdosing on them my tooth was and still is hurting.

Nothing anyone says will have any effect on you, because you're f*cking well brain dead.
#24
Quote by MightyAl
Nothing anyone says will have any effect on you, because you're f*cking well brain dead.


That was a really well thought out intelligence post. How long did it take for you to think of that. What people say does have an affect on me but you on the other hand are a nobody, sadly, so nothing you say can affect me And just because you can look on google at Co-codamol ingredients and passing the knowledge off as your own doesn't make you smart. It's just plagiarism.
In/Rainbows
#25
one time, i had to get a staple in my head and they made me play a donkey kong game on a yellow gameboy
yellow gameboys are ****ing gay
purple is where it's at
#26
Quote by Mr. 37
That was a really well thought out intelligence post. How long did it take for you to think of that. What people say does have an affect on me but you on the other hand are a nobody, sadly, so nothing you say can affect me And just because you can look on google at Co-codamol ingredients and passing the knowledge off as your own doesn't make you smart. It's just plagiarism.

Yes, but just taking a handful of pills you just bought without knowing what's in them or how many you're supposed to take(when the information is readily available) makes you a brain dead moron.
I hope you die next time.
#27
not really that funny but november i got my appendix out and i offically have the biggest appendix on my hospitals records that didnt burst =D
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#28
Quote by digimon go!
one time, i had to get a staple in my head and they made me play a donkey kong game on a yellow gameboy
yellow gameboys are ****ing gay
purple is where it's at


hell yeaaa i had a purple gameboy color. my mom got it for me when i guess she felt sorry for me cuz the night before i fell on my face and a good chunk was taken out of my 2 upper front teeth.
Yea that's right, I want something to explode

I've been deaf, now I want noise

LOUD LOVE
#29
Tucker Max has one of the funniest stories! (sorry for the wall of text. Read more on his blog, im not gonna link it cause i dont wanna get banned for Advertisement)

I arrived at Cook County Hospital, parked my car and got in line to register at the desk. Right before the triage nurse got to me, a screaming ambulance pulled up and unloaded a bleeding gunshot victim. I am not sure how many times he was shot, but I saw at least three holes. They even had to call a janitor to come wash blood off the floor.

At this scene, the triage nurse didn't even look up, and handed me my number. It is--I swear to god--187. I looked at my number, watched the paramedic disappear down the hallway with the low-rent Tupac, and walked right out the door. No ****ing way. I don't believe in the supernatural and I'm not even the least bit superstitious, but some signs should not be ignored.

I was in agony all day the next day. I was laying on my sofa at around 10pm when a tsunami of agony crashed over me. Nothing I've ever experienced prepared me for this pain. I have broken an arm, some ribs and a hand, torn a rotator cuff, hyper-extended both knees, severely sprained both ankles, popped an eardrum, torn off finger nails, stepped on carpenter nails, had a planar wart, etc, etc, so I thought I had experienced a wide and representative spectrum of pain. I was wrong.

It was so crippling it took every bit of courage I had to reach from the sofa to the table, pick up my phone, and call TheRoommate. He was in his bedroom.

Roommate "Tucker, why are you calling me from the living room?"
Tucker [barely audible whisper] "...hospital..."
Roommate "Oh ****! OK, OK, hold on!"

By the time we got to Cook County I was almost in shock the pain was so bad. A nurse rolled a wheel chair out to the car, brought me straight into the triage room and was about to take me back to the ER, when another nurse told her to instead take me to the nurses station to take my blood pressure and temperature.

On the way there she bumped me into every single chair, wall and assorted encumbrance along the way. I groaned in pain at every nudge, each rattling my appendix at what felt like an 8 on the Richter scale. We got to the nurses' station where the nurse, who was Asian and spoke a sort of broken ghetto English, put me in line behind 6 people.

I gaze at these people, and none seem to have critical, life-threatening internal injuries. This infuriated me. A rush of adrenalin enabled me to muster a voice loud enough to completely silence the entire front of the Cook County Emergency Room:

Tucker "WHAT THE **** ARE YOU DOING? WHY AM I HERE? MY ****ING APPENDIX EXPLODED AND YOU WANT ME TO WAIT BEHIND SLAPPY AND HIS IN-GROWN TOENAIL?"
Nurse "You're you in pain?"
Tucker [This question inspires such utter disbelief I can only resort to my basest reaction] "ARE YOU ****ING STUPID?"
Nurse [Remember, this is in broken ghetto Asian] "HEY--You don got to be rude. I'n just try-ing to hep you. You don got to disrespect. How much it hurt?"
Tucker "MY APPENDIX EXPLODED--MY ****ING STOMACH FEELS LIKE SOMEONE ****ING STABBED ME. HOW WOULD LIKE IT IF SOMEONE STUCK A KNIFE IN YOUR STOMACH? YOU WOULDN'T BE IN A GOOD MOOD EITHER, MAMA-SON."
Nurse "YOU GONNA STAB ME? [Turns to other nurses] "HEY SHANDA, HE TELL ME HE GONNA STAB ME!"
Nurse 2 [Comes over to investigate] "You say you gonna stab her?"
Tucker "I didn't say I was going to stab her I was describing what my pain was like."
Nurse "HE SAY HE GONNA STAB ME. HE SAY HE GONNA STICK KNIFE IN MY STOMACH."
Tucker [And there goes my patience] "I DIDN'T ****ING SAY I WAS GONNA STAB YOU. LEARN TO SPEAK ENGLISH GODDAMIT! I WAS DESCRIBING MY PAIN YOU IDIOT!"
Nurse "HE CALL ME IDIOT TOO!"
Nurse2 "Sir, you need to be respectful or we are going to call the police, and you--"

This was my breaking point. I just turned and started rolling my wheel chair towards the ER. We got to the actual ER area and she rolled me into one of the triage rooms and handed me off to an ER nurse.

ER Nurse "So what's his problem?"
Nurse call me idiot and say he gonna stab me.
ER Nurse [Turns to me] "Did you threaten to stab her?"
Tucker What? My ****ing appendix burst."
Nurse say he gonna stick a knife in my stomach.
ER Nurse "Did you say you were going to stick a knife in her stomach?"
Tucker "What? What is this? NO! She asked me what my pain felt like and I said it felt like I got stabbed. I'M THE ONE IN PAIN!"

Two doctors arrived almost immediately, a male attending and a female resident. They questioned me, poked my abdomen, etc, when the male doctor asked me to roll onto my side:

Tucker "Roll on my side? What for?"
Doctor "I need to check your prostate."
Tucker "WHAT?????? WITH YOUR HAND??
Doctor "Yes."
Tucker "IN MY BUTT??"
Doctor "I have to, you may have serious colon or prostate problems, and the only way to check those is by hand."
Tucker "Well this is just ****ING GREAT."

(sorry for the wall of text. Read more on his blog, im not gonna link it cause i dont wanna get banned for Advertisement)
#30
Quote by MightyAl
Yes, but just taking a handful of pills you just bought without knowing what's in them or how many you're supposed to take(when the information is readily available) makes you a brain dead moron.
I hope you die next time.


That makes you a terrible person. Enough said, you phail.
In/Rainbows
#31
Quote by Mr. 37
That makes you a terrible person. Enough said, you phail.

I was trying to be nasty. Thus I succeed.
#32
i saw a guy w/ 2 heads in the ER once. he looked kind of like Hellboy
...because the last thing the world needs is another metal guitarist.

Me.

My band.

I like Fall Out Boy. I don't like you.
#33
Quote by MightyAl
I was trying to be nasty. Thus I succeed.


In what you troll, there was no pyzazz, who do you think you are? Simon Cowell?

It was just a needless flurry of insults to someone recovering from an overdose. That's pretty low.
In/Rainbows
#34
Quote by Mr. 37
In what you troll, there was no pyzazz, who do you think you are? Simon Cowell?

I don't wear trousers up to my armpits. What the hell do you think I am, old?
#37
I didn't ask you what you though you arrogant jumped up ponce.
In/Rainbows
#38
I asked you for your story, you don't have one thus you had no need to post. Does that mean your spamming? I think it does. Irrelevant posts. Yes
In/Rainbows
#39
Quote by Mr. 37
I didn't ask you what you though you arrogant jumped up ponce.

Then you got something for nothing. Lucky you.
Quote by Mr. 37
I asked you for your story, you don't have one thus you had no need to post. Does that mean your spamming? I think it does. Irrelevant posts. Yes

2 posts in a row, and circumventing the profanity filter.
You're racking up the offenses well enough yourself.
#40
I could just report you now but since I'm not as much a baby as you I'm not going to.

EDIT: ^^How can I spam up my own thread.
In/Rainbows
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