#1
a new song, my nightingales!

Listen to it and tell me your thoughts?
I'll do the same for you.
That's for sure...if you leave a link.

my link is in the sig.
Last edited by anOnyMouSanIe at Apr 5, 2008,
#3
I liked it very much. Your voice is amazing. Compared to mine, you rock!

And yes, tabs would be amazing.
#4
Hey,
Theres a feel to that song that I really like. It reminds me of something, but I cant think of what it is (which usually means it's a catchy original). Kudos!
#7
hey this is really good! i definitely need to work on my singing, nowhere near as good.
the guitar work is great, nothing to distracting, creates a nice atmosphere for your voice to move in. "cause the parts of you that scared me..." i like those lyrics, vocally though, it is the weakest link of the song. try turning down the microphone level and really belting out some of this stuff!
good work harmonizing with the other guitar and the lowlevel background instrument.
nice job!

heres my newest one improvised melodic solo https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=830064
if its not really your type of song, you would probably like my acoustic song Blueberry in my sig. thanks in advance!
#8
I liked the idea of the melody. If it was my song, I would try to do a Standing Outside A Broken Phonebooth 'zoned out' type thing, basically add more instruments/effects to the background. But thats what i would do.
Your vocals sound interesting, at times almost a female version of Bob Dylan. Anyway keep it up.
#9
Thanksss. Yeah, I considered adding more to it...but then I decided not to because I'm lazy.

I forgot to say to leave a link, so I added that in there. I'm assuming those who didn't don't have anything they want me to crit? Just let me know if I missed yours.
#10
Great song. You've got a terrific voice, and a good image.

Hmm as far as suggestions, you could spice up the guitar a little. Maybe have a bridge or add another riff. Your voice goes really well with the guitar tone, you couldve been a little more bold in your backing vocals though and harmonized or done a counter melody.

Overall, nice!!!

Check out my track?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=829100

_____________________________________________
#11
Thanks! Yeah, I know I put this together rather quickly. I just wanted to get the idea down. It's just sort of a demo of a song I'll eventually want to really work on.

And sorry I forgot about critting yours. I'll get to it right away!
#12
hey anie!
i really love the little piano melody in the intro.
wow i just read your lyrics for the first time. they're fantastic. i really really like them.
i'm gonna comment you on myspace, just cos.
#13
simple intro but with a good sound from both the guitar and piano
ur vocals are nice unique with a sort of ending cut off at the end of each line which is nice,

Simple composition consisting of the verse chorus verse chorus, bridge

the transition between verse and chorus is very subtle and suits the style of the song perfectly

overall its a very good song i liked it something different from what is normally on UG good work and keep it up

TO WORK ON:
maybe just add a bridge or chorus to extend the song kinda short

dont be afraid to turn up the piano part, i feel it should be a main sort of thing as it is a melody and u can let it stand out from the other instruments
Last edited by Martindecorum at Apr 15, 2008,
#14
good playing and you have a great voice, just belt it out a bit more to let it really shine. Singing with confidence is hard for most people to do because to ourselves our loud voice sounds stupid, but don't be afraid!

I enjoyed the song a lot also, could've used something to shake it up in the middle like others said but that's not necessarily true depending on album placement.

crit mine?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=838095
#15
Thanks everyone. I suppose I should concentrate on adding a little more to it when I re-record it. I would like to make it sound a lot...bigger. I'm just not sure how to go about it.

And thanks applemangoloveeee. We're best friends for life.
#16
Quote by anOnyMouSanIe
Thanks everyone. I suppose I should concentrate on adding a little more to it when I re-record it. I would like to make it sound a lot...bigger. I'm just not sure how to go about it.

And thanks applemangoloveeee. We're best friends for life.


hmm if u want to make it sound BIGGER what you can do for a simple technique, record another guitar take which does the exact same thing as the first guitar and pan them left and right this makes the song alot thicker and works really well

NOW!!! dont cheat by duplicating the track and then panning it cause it will end up the same lol, but another guitar just might sound a tad different so that why it creates a natural thickness

that just a first step good luck
#17
^Thanks for the tip. Sometimes I try to do that, but I'll work on making the guitar tracks sound more different from each other.

Did I miss anyone in critting back? If so, just tell me because I didn't mean to.
#18
You know what the great thing about this song is? I mean, other than the fact that it's a great song?

You could turn the energy up a few notches and it'd sound just as good. I'd like to hear that. I imagine your voice would be even better with a little more uumph

Crit back, G.
#19
I like listening to your music - great guitar in this song - love the softness and smoothness of the acoustics...

Your voice seems a little to soft - try breathing more when you are singing let out as MUCH air as possible to make the sound more smooth and not raspy.... It's almost muted a little...

Good work for real though - I've listened to a lot of your stuff and this seems a bit simpler ...

On the last note - it is a bit hard to understand what you are saying so try letting out more air and really pronouncing your words
#20
the think i like at first when i listen to this song is that the guitar is played very cleanly which is very nice to listen to .. all in all i think this song is really great for listeners of that kind of music , i would maybe add some kind of rhytm instrument like bongos ore little drums to it just to give it a more ecitatory sound but thats just my opinion , and maybe some vocal harmonics would sound really great to this song , but thats just peanuts all in all the song is really good and pleasent to listen to

please fell free to cri my new son in my profile
good luck in future
-------------------|Carpe Diem - Lebe den Tag|-----------------
--------------------------------|Darukan|--------------------------------
#21
Not crazy about the voice, but that really is a personal thing, technically quite good, in tune. You could work on coming across more clearly, hard to decipher at times because of the way you're singing. The guitar playing's done cleanly enough.
Good transition between the verse and chorus. I do think a bit more energy, at least in part of the song, would make it a more interesting listen.
Crit me at https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=796639 if you can.
So many possibilities, so little ability.

Quote by Asthia
You know you're a guitar player when you tell your father what note he's yelling at you in and then improvise over the top.
#23
as always your songs are good to listen to, the clean guitar at the beginning is nicely played, lyrics and vocal melody are interesting, i think i can hear a piano or maybe its another guitar but i like the layering effect you've got going on, your also using backign vocals right, you should raise their levels as you can hardly hear them, overall good job!!

could you crit mine please https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=844455

Thanks

Patrick

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