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#1
A girl on Myspace (yes, Myspace, don't spaz) messaged me out of the blue today, and asked me to describe the "love" that I feel for my boyfriend, and how I know that it is real. I put love in quotations because she was skeptical about the sincerity of our feelings. She doubted that it was actual love because of our young age.

It's true that most teenagers really are just blinded by what they believe is love. That's usually the case, and I can't blame her for thinking that way.

But I told her that I know that what I feel is real, not just something based on texts, phone calls, a well-placed sweet phrase, or other superficialities. My boyfriend is not a social prize to me, nor is he a sexual object. He is a confidant and a companion, a lover and a friend. Nothing can surpass what I feel when I talk to him, when I see him, when I am with him. He makes me feel happy and safe. If that's not love, I quit relationships, because it couldn't possibly get any better than that.

Anyway, I found that it was really difficult to describe it in a way that didn't sound stupid. It's something that you just feel and know, but is too profound to grasp with words.

I just wondered how UG would've answered this question.

How do you know that it is real love that you feel with your partner, not just puppy love?
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#2
Quote by Hannakins
A girl on Myspace (yes, Myspace, don't spaz) messaged me out of the blue today, and asked me to describe the "love" that I feel for my boyfriend, and how I know that it is real. I put love in quotations because she was skeptical about the sincerity of our feelings. She doubted that it was actual love because of our young age.

It's true that most teenagers really are just blinded by what they believe is love. That's usually the case, and I can't blame her for thinking that way.

But I told her that I know that what I feel is real, not just something based on texts, phone calls, a well-placed sweet phrase, or other superficialities. My boyfriend is not a social prize to me, nor is he a sexual object. He is a confidant and a companion, a lover and a friend. Nothing can surpass what I feel when I talk to him, when I see him, when I am with him. He makes me feel happy and safe. If that's not love, I quit relationships, because it couldn't possibly get any better than that.

Anyway, I found that it was really difficult to describe it in a way that didn't sound stupid. It's something that you just feel and know, but is too profound to grasp with words.

I just wondered how UG would've answered this question.

How do you know that it is real love that you feel with your partner, not just puppy love?



I think that you hit it pretty darn close to what love's definition really is, and not treating her/him like a prize or object is what I see many others struggling with in their relationships.
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#3
tell her exactly what you just told us. i don't think it could've been said any better.
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#4
there are no women on the internet so...gay?
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Pedophilia all the way man. Go for it.

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hahaha i thought you wrote Philidelphia all the way, i was like yeah philidelphias cool i spose

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#7
copious of pornography have all but obliterated any sort of romantic feelings i may have had for those of the opposite gender, but just for the record i think that you are pretty much bang on for what love really is
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#8
Quote by clay pots
there are no women on the internet so...gay?


Uh, nope. Girl.


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Was it just a spam mail?


No. Actual person, actual question.
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#9
that was actually worded really well. I would have no idea how to tackle a question like that to be honest.
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I used to think that girls only had 2 holes

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#10
Quote by clay pots
there are no women on the internet so...gay?


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#11
Quote by Ex'sAndOh's

i didn't say anything bad about gays. i just presumed the person was gay because of rule 1.
Quote by Jackintehbox
Pedophilia all the way man. Go for it.

Quote by deathbat831
hahaha i thought you wrote Philidelphia all the way, i was like yeah philidelphias cool i spose

Quote by SomeoneYouKnew
I'm always too embarrassed to buy condoms. Saran wrap is cheaper, anyway.
#12
To me, the only difference between love and lust is the type of gratification you get from satisfying the sexual urges brought on by said feeling. Love and lust are both all about sex. Love is an emotional gratification, and lust is a physical gratification.
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#13
I think if you threw in being willing to sacrefice everything you have, life included, but not needing to, you would be as close to a perfect description as possible.
#14
I agree, you hit it as close as it can be hit, and in doing so have moved me
I've seen some things man and some stuff, and i don't recommend it
#15
I'd tell her it's none of her business and I have nothing to prove to her.
But you did well. =]
#16
did you know that when your young when you "fall in love" its actually love not like a puppy love but the reason you think its not real love is becuase as you get older it becomes a differnt or even distorted than what you think, we all mature and evolve in alot of things and love is one of them you become more mature but so does your brain, your brain reconizes love at a younger age in the same way as your older except you approach it differntly and think it over differntly.
#17
I think you got it spot on. That's exactly how I feel about my girlfriend. I would do anything for her, she's my best friend, I care about her above all else and spending time with her is the highlight of my daily life.
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#18
Uh....this is The Pit.
Can't we hate on 4chan like normally?
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#19
Not trying to be mean, but quit dreaming. You're 16. You're not in love. You don't even know what love is.

I learned that through experience. Things aren't always what you think they are.
Yellowknife, Northwest Territories
#21
After being in relationships I really don't believe in love. I believe that people look for what society calls "love" and I believe that people feel some sort of hole in their life and fill it with another person, and they call it love, I'm not saying this is nessicarily unhealthy, but it's still just a psychological need.

Me? I'm just at the point where I've decided the way I'm going to be and realized that the only way I could have a relationship work is if I'm myself instead of changing who I am for someone, and slowly beginning to resent them for it. The problem I have with relationships is I quickly get tired of the girls I'm with, I'm not looking for any sort of long term relationship, after my experiences I don't trust people too much, and I'm a bit of a mysoginist prick.
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#22
I know me and my girlfriend are in love because we fight on almost a nightly basis but yet niether of us can sleep if we dont talk to each other before we goto bed.
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For girls it's like "here's Barbie...you're fat!"
#23
you know you really love someone when you can stop being physically attracted to them or finding them charming all the time, or sometimes don't even like them, but still absolutely want them in your life....

Or is that co-dependancy, eh same thing

I think romantic love is just a straight up combination of platonic love and horniness, nothing more nothing less. Not some magic or sacred feeling. It's a great feeling and it's valuable all on it's own, but we build up way too much mystery and bs around it. I blame Dante and Petrarch.
#24
IMO, no one is supposed to know what love is unless they're experiencing it right then and there. if you're not experiencing it at that moment, but you were before, you don't know what love is simply because it's not happening at that moment
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#25
Love is different to every single person in the world except for the one you love and for the one who loves you. Or is meant to love you, if you wish to be dreamy...
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#27
Quote by Supples
love? eh? i masturbate out of boredom? is that love?

Yeah. Hold on and never let go.
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#28
Quote by Liberation
Not trying to be mean, but quit dreaming. You're 16. You're not in love. You don't even know what love is.

I learned that through experience. Things aren't always what you think they are.


I've heard that you can first "really" love when you're about 15. Should be earlier for girls though.

But how can you say, just because the "love" you felt when you we're 16, wasn't real love to you, that she can't feel it?
You're not her, now are you ? xD

It's true many people in this age (13-16 sometimes 17) don't take love very serious, and have a prize kind of look at love. But you sure as hell can't generalize like that. Some people mature before others.
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#29
I don't think there is any great line or definition that can be defined for love. What is love for one person may not be so for another. I base this on one simple fact.

Take a scenerio. You have a girlfriend/boyfriend and you sincerely believe you are in love, that what you are experiencing is the real deal. Then, something happens, and you aren't together anymore. Then, someone else comes along, and what you now feel for this new person far surpasses that of the previous one, the one whom you believed you loved.

But you couldn't possibly have loved them, because what you now feel for this new person, THIS is love. It blows away what you felt for the last person.

Where is your love now?
A U S S I E
#30
Love is patient and kind. Love knows neither envy nor jealousy. Love is not forward and self-assertive, nor boastful and conceited.

But love is, you just know its love, there isnt specific things that it can be, it just is love. I guess sometimes you can think your in love, but I believe if its true love, it never ends, I guess thats why im sceptical of teen romance. Its also why I never say I love you to a girlfriend.
#31
Quote by Liberation
Not trying to be mean, but quit dreaming. You're 16. You're not in love. You don't even know what love is.

I learned that through experience. Things aren't always what you think they are.


Pfft, cynic

I'm pretty sure at least some people in the world have been in love at 16. Whilst a lot of people are quite immature, others do still mature quicker and so could feel love. Not to say that Hannakins is right, but I'll take her word for it over yours, because you're basing your opinion of her experiences on your own experience. That's one of those timeless mistakes that people make in so many scenarios. Any two people are different.
I play by my own rules. And I have one rule; There are no rules... but if there are, they're there to be broken. Even this one.


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#32
Quote by BMXfreak000
Uh....this is The Pit.
Can't we hate on 4chan like normally?

NO WE CAN NOT THIS ARE SERIOUS THREAD
I'LL PUNCH A DONKEY IN THE STREETS OF GALWAY
#33
I don't believe in "love" full stop. You don't do people because you love them, and you don't marry people 'cause you "love" them- it's 'cause they're there, it's easier than not doing, and it's expected.

I think the illusion of it exists, like you go out with someone for so long you just convince yourself you love that person, afterall- you don't wanna believe you're with someone because it's easier than not being with them. I think it's only "real" in songs, poems, films etc.
Quote by aaron13
well i get on the net and chat with hot chicks alot.
most of them want to see me naked.. and they are over 18..
#35
You'll probably find love is a completely different thing when you're older.
~Domino?

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and I'm too young to care.


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#36
I think what you said about love is right and what some others have said is right but I'm not sure. You see? Love is a strong word, and to be honest, I would be afraid of saying that to another girl simply because I think I know love, but I'm not entirely sure. Again, see?

I don't know if that makes sense...
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#37
Well, I thought I'd been in love before, and I was really happy with previous girlfriends.

However, I've met a girl who's made me doubt how I felt before. I don't want to even try to talk about it, but I think that your ideas of what love actually is definitely change as you get older.

It's like cheese: you might have an amazing bit of cheddar when you're 16, but it's not till you get older that you discover some cheese you'd never even known about that blows your mind.
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#38
Quote by Yakult

It's like cheese: you might have an amazing bit of cheddar when you're 16, but it's not till you get older that you discover some cheese you'd never even known about that blows your mind.

You read "Who Moved my Cheese" didn't you?

Anyway, I pretty much agree with his statement. As you mature, your thoughts and ideas about life change as does your idea of what love is.
#39
^ I can honestly say I have no idea what you're talking about
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#40
Quote by Liberation
Not trying to be mean, but quit dreaming. You're 16. You're not in love. You don't even know what love is.

I learned that through experience. Things aren't always what you think they are.


And being four months older makes you that much wiser than I am?

Quote by Jcore44
I don't think there is any great line or definition that can be defined for love. What is love for one person may not be so for another. I base this on one simple fact.

Take a scenerio. You have a girlfriend/boyfriend and you sincerely believe you are in love, that what you are experiencing is the real deal. Then, something happens, and you aren't together anymore. Then, someone else comes along, and what you now feel for this new person far surpasses that of the previous one, the one whom you believed you loved.

But you couldn't possibly have loved them, because what you now feel for this new person, THIS is love. It blows away what you felt for the last person.

Where is your love now?


I never said there was a perfect definition of love, but I don't think love is going to suddenly "upgrade" with change. I think love evolves slowly into something stronger and clearer as you progress through a relationship(s), and the reason a new relationship would feel better and be "more loving" than the old one is because you'd have a better understanding of it.

EDIT: ^ The above statement addresses to all the posts that say "love is different when you're older", but I didn't want to bother going through and quoting all that.
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