#1
G
I want to give you
A
Everything I have
D
I wanted to ensure
G
That you weren’t feeling sad
A
I created a feeling
D
That I thought could never be
G
With me
A
Ever since I met you
D
My whole life’s been a fantasy
D
And everytime I look at you
Am
Everytime I cry
C
And everytime I think of you
G
One more day goes by
G
Whenever you take a step
A
I’m happy you’re still here
D
Because when I’m not with you
G
I’m stuck in fear
A
And you created a feeling
D
That you thought wouldn’t be true
G
With you
A
Ever since you met me
D
My whole life’s been a fantasy
D
And everytime I look at you
Am
And Everytime I cry
C
And everytime I think of you
G
One more day just goes on by
you just witnessed the heart-stopping, door-locking, history makin, pants-droppin, earth-shakin, body quakin, lip-quivering, body-tickilin, love-makin fang
#2
goes on should be changed into passes it gives it a much better flow and the rest is really good
it works with itself and has a flow that sounds like it would go great acousticly
#3
yea that's how i envisioned it
you just witnessed the heart-stopping, door-locking, history makin, pants-droppin, earth-shakin, body quakin, lip-quivering, body-tickilin, love-makin fang
#5
I tried playing it, and I couldn't get it to sound right. If you're going to end the rhyme on tonic chord, it doesn't sound right to me to start the next verse with the second chord when you've already mapped out the chord progression with first verse. That being said, the actual progressions were very nice, would work well for the song. Also, careful on some of the forced rhyming. I caught myself laughing a little on your word usage. But overall, it's good man.
LISTEN:
A Myspace introduction to:

LEARN:
It's not always rainbows and butterflies,
It's compromise that moves us along. -- Maroon 5
#6
The present and past tense can get a little confusing, I'd look over it. But aside from the small technical errors, it's really nice. I love the simplicity, and the flow is excellent; it's definitely made for singing. Great job.
...

#7
well it started past tense but i told this girl i wrote it for her(that gets u so much tail) so i changed in to present but i might not have gotten all of them
you just witnessed the heart-stopping, door-locking, history makin, pants-droppin, earth-shakin, body quakin, lip-quivering, body-tickilin, love-makin fang
#8
Did a good job at showing how you felt in this song, a few Cliché lines but that can be overlooked by the overall emotion of the song.
#9
You conveyed the overall emotion pretty well. Some typical cliches, but hey, sometimes those are unnavoidable and if it works with the song, then good.

edit: whoops, didn't see the above guys post, we said pretty much the same thing.
Yeah, it's a very simple song and I think it would work really well acoustically which you have envisioned.


Love the Low end
#10
yea cliches can seldom be avoided in these kind of songs but yea i think it overall made it okay
you just witnessed the heart-stopping, door-locking, history makin, pants-droppin, earth-shakin, body quakin, lip-quivering, body-tickilin, love-makin fang