#1
So I just ate a large bowl of salad topped with salad dressing that is 3 days short of being outdated 2 years. My stomache is a tad upset and I just took the worst crap of my life. Greek With Feta is no longer my favourite salad dressing. Am I going to die?
Quote by Kensai
I'm no fancy doctor, but it sounds like you've got the clap.
#3
to die in the name of salad is the most glorious death of all! may you find salvation waiting in the glorious halls of Valhalla!
.
..
...
I have no opinion on this matter.
#4
If you die, at least you died eating something I love.

On a somewhat related note, I had a hard time eating salad for a few days after my girlfriend went to the gynecologist. She kept complaining about how they look around down there with heated up salad tongs.
DOWN&OUT
#5
Mmmmm, Caesar dressing



Looks delicious!
Quote by Godzilla1969
I love you, Muphin. You have great taste in music.

Quote by Pacifica112J
Muphin > You

The Cooperation
#7
Why did you top your salad with 2 year old feta cheese dressing?
You should drink a bottle of italian dressing to wash it down.
Call me Wes.
Gear:
Fender American Deluxe HSS Strat
Chicago Blues Box Roadhouse
Bad Cat Cougar 5
1957 Gibson GA-5
Ceriatone 18w TMB Combo
Hughes & Kettner Tube Factor
Various Ibanez TS9s
Weber MASS Attenuator
#8
This one vinegar olive dressing i have smells AND looks like jizz.
Nighty Night keep your butthole tight
Quote by AlexiSinergy
I heard my mom talking to her friend about going to a ****ing dildo party!
#9
I'm no fancy doctor, but it sounds like you've got the clap.
████████████████████████████
███████████████████████████
█████████████████████████
██████████████████████████
███████████████████████████
███████████████████████████
███████████████████████████
███████████████████████████
#10
In the name of the 1000 islands, I salute you soldier. May your death be full of acidic diarrhea and heartburn. For Caesar!!!!!!
#11
Quote by Sw00t
This one vinegar olive dressing i have smells AND looks like jizz.



you know what jizz smells like?
ADD MY -CORE BAND!
www.myspace.com/efakaz

GEARx
Ibanez RG2EX1
Peavey 5150 II
Avatar 2x12 w/V30'S
ISP Decimator

Quote by T Man Prime
Ok everyone, who do you think is the heaviest band? Personally I think As I Lay Dying is the heaviest
#12
Getting sick from two-year-old dressing is not a reason to hate salad dressing.

It is a reason, however, to hate yourself for being a tool.
#13
I chugged a can of 25 year old tab the other day.
That was a blast from the past.
Call me Wes.
Gear:
Fender American Deluxe HSS Strat
Chicago Blues Box Roadhouse
Bad Cat Cougar 5
1957 Gibson GA-5
Ceriatone 18w TMB Combo
Hughes & Kettner Tube Factor
Various Ibanez TS9s
Weber MASS Attenuator
#14
Quote by octavarium78
you know what jizz smells like?

You haven't ever fapped or had sex?
#15
Quote by octavarium78
you know what jizz smells like?


Yes.
Nighty Night keep your butthole tight
Quote by AlexiSinergy
I heard my mom talking to her friend about going to a ****ing dildo party!
#16
Quote by Jackintehbox
You haven't ever fapped or had sex?



well yes but the jizz/my penis is away from my face.
ADD MY -CORE BAND!
www.myspace.com/efakaz

GEARx
Ibanez RG2EX1
Peavey 5150 II
Avatar 2x12 w/V30'S
ISP Decimator

Quote by T Man Prime
Ok everyone, who do you think is the heaviest band? Personally I think As I Lay Dying is the heaviest
#17
Quote by octavarium78
you know what jizz smells like?

Who doesn't?

Bleach.
My Rig:

Guitars:
Schecter C-1 Classic (Deep Sea Green)
Jackson DK2M Snow White Edition
BC Rich Mockingbird Special X

Amps:
Mesa Boogie Express 5:50 212
Roland Microcube

RIP Kevin Robert Swerdfiger
September 15 1991 - May 16 2008
#18
Quote by kyle100
Who doesn't?

Bleach.


Exactly.
Nighty Night keep your butthole tight
Quote by AlexiSinergy
I heard my mom talking to her friend about going to a ****ing dildo party!
#19
Well, UG, if I die, it was a pleasure knowing you all...

Quote by Kensai
I'm no fancy doctor, but it sounds like you've got the clap.


Especially you Kensai, you rock my socks off.
Quote by Kensai
I'm no fancy doctor, but it sounds like you've got the clap.
#20
Quote by happytimeharry
Probably.


try not to get my hopes up
Quote by Mr. La Fritz
"all fatties report to the gym!"


Quote by mosh_face

music should only sound like a train running into a wall of BC riches plugged into line 6 spiders
#21
That's not a good enough reason to hate salad dressing. I love salad dressing. Salad just isn't the same without it.
Quote by markr17
go eat a hermanpherdite.
#22
^yeah, you're right, but I'm going to avoid salad for a little while now, because it's just going to remind me of this...
Quote by Kensai
I'm no fancy doctor, but it sounds like you've got the clap.
#23
its aidz
Happy birthday Slash
Quote by Shred-Hed
What do you think the odds are that he'll read this...?

Quote by TJ1991
A lot higher than Chinese Democracy ever being released.
#24
Quote by octavarium78
well yes but the jizz/my penis is away from my face.


Idk about you but my jizz has quite the strong smell. It doesn't need to be 5 feet within my face to be smelt.
Quote by mcw00t
"so you mean if the father is sterile, the kid will be sterile too?"

Proof God exists and evolution is a lie:
Quote by elguitarrista3
the prove is u because u did n create urself and ur parents dindt and their parents didnt and so on and we are not monkeys peace

#25
Why are people in this thread mentioning Jizz? Its supposed to be about salad dressing! lol
Quote by Kensai
I'm no fancy doctor, but it sounds like you've got the clap.
#26
Quote by hushie_619
Why are people in this thread mentioning Jizz? Its supposed to be about salad dressing! lol

Your salad dressing wasn't expired, I just blew my load into it right before you ate.
Quote by markr17
go eat a hermanpherdite.
#27
Quote by Scourge441
Getting sick from two-year-old dressing is not a reason to hate salad dressing.

It is a reason, however, to hate yourself for being a tool.

Pretty much what I was going to say.
#28
^to sSyLc^ eww

I only ate the dressing because the date said 08/Apr/06
I read it backwards
Quote by Kensai
I'm no fancy doctor, but it sounds like you've got the clap.
#29
I only eat Hidden Valley Ranch and Paul Newman's Italian
everything else sucks

I'm a salad dressing elitist! (oh noe)
Lord Gold feeds from your orifices and he wants to see you sweat.
Lord Gold probes you publicly and makes your pussy wet.
Now say his name.....
#30
update, 4 hours, 3 beer, 5 shots of vodka, some kaluha, and a long game of quarters later, I'm still alive and well. Looks like I didn't die, but who knows what's in the near future.
Quote by Kensai
I'm no fancy doctor, but it sounds like you've got the clap.
#31
Off salad dressing is like a your girlfirends fat sister. You think that if you like fresh salad dressing you will like the off salad dressing. Then you eat the off dressing and regret it for a long time afterwards. Not only can you not eat the fresh salad dressing again, all of the salad dressing's friends are no longer available to you

Bad analogy, but you get the gist
Quote by mattvl
Listen to this guy, he's australian. If there are any people out there who know how to handle women it's australians.