#1
this is a punk rock song i wrote for an english project.
The Lemming Song

You have more power than you think,
But you blame it on the people and the currency
Well, your views are something to rethink.
The people you verbally oppose,
Do a better job, than you ever could

So if you gunna’ talk, learn how to walk first,
Get off your high horse, and suck it up sweetheart.
Do your own damned part before telling me to do mine.
Get on your feet and declare,
Declare to do something, instead of shifting the blame,
Saving yourselves the pain, the shame, of knowing it’s not just your leaders fault,

People are the media, people are the cause,
There’s more Indians than chief’s, so what can you do?
Point out others flaws after working on your own.
This world our only home and the only thing we have.

So if you gunna’ talk, learn how to walk first,
Get off your high horse, and suck it up sweetheart.
Do your own damned part before telling me to do mine.
Get on your feet and declare,
Declare to do something, instead of shifting the blame,
Saving yourselves the pain, the shame, of knowing it’s not just your leaders fault,

Don’t be such a Hypocrite,
Suck it up and do your job.
Until then leave others to o theirs better than you do yours
And leave me alone,
Until you do something real.


C4C
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Mr Cuddles pretty much nailed it...

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Viscara (my band)
Last edited by Mr.Cuddles at Apr 6, 2008,
#2
Quote by nightraven
Ode to hypocritical lemmings.

You have more power than you think,
But you blame it on the people and the currency
didn't like the phrasing here, it said what you wanted it to say, but it didn't do it in an interesting way. quite bland.
Well, your views are something to rethink.
didn't like the rhyme here. identical to the first line.
The people you verbally oppose,
Do a better job, than you ever could.
end was okay. it's still got the same problem i described at the beginning.

So if you gunna’ talk, learn how to walk first,
i liked the internal rhyme, it gave this part a good punch.
Get off your high horse, and suck it up sweetheart.
no rhyme with the first line?
Do your own damned part before telling me to do mine.
meh. turning into a rant, which we don't see the point to yet.
Get on your feet and declare,
Declare to do something, instead of shifting the blame,
Saving yourselves the pain, the shame, of knowing it’s not just your leaders fault,
this last part was odd, you had rhymes all over the place, and nothing seemed to click together effectively. felt like a mess tbh.

People are the media, people are the cause,
i liked this in a way, the repetition of 'people are' was effective.
There’s more Indians than chief’s, so what can you do?
there are* , didn't like the rhetorical question.
Point out others flaws after working on your own.
This world our only home and the only thing we have.

So if you gunna’ talk, learn how to walk first,
Get off your high horse, and suck it up sweetheart.
Do your own damned part before telling me to do mine.
Get on your feet and declare,
Declare to do something, instead of shifting the blame,
Saving yourselves the pain, the shame, of knowing it’s not just your leaders fault,

Don’t be such a Hypocrite,
Suck it up and do your job.
Until then leave others to o theirs better than you do yours
And leave me alone,
Until you do something real.
bleh. this part sucked. this isn't lyrical at all imo. it's just heckler-esque phrases thrown about. the third line was out of place, too long.

sorry for being harsh. i didn't like this. it's hard to do a political song properly, though.
i felt this piece was just driven by you venting your feelings out.

thank you for your comments on my piece.

Nick.


sory, it was spossed to be a prose all the rhymes were just kinda there, by accident manly didn't see any reason to take them out.
thanks, though
Quote by Eliyahu
Mr.Cuddles killed The Metal!!!! FUCK YES!

Quote by TheReverend724
Mr Cuddles pretty much nailed it...

Quote by thanksgiving

"Oh Mr.Cuddles, you make my pants go boom boom. I are horny. Do not disappoint I"


Viscara (my band)