#1
This is a song I wrote in like seriously 5 minutes but I'm actually pretty happy with it. Tell me what you guys think. I was going for an old school pop punk sorta thing like the descendents. Crit 4 Crit.

Verse:
I never had the greatest luck
And I know I never will
It's not that I don't give a ****
That's just the way it's always been
And here we go around again...

Chorus:
I love her but she don't love me
Don't know how many times I've told that story
Everytime I try I get cut down
I'm sick of picking my soul up off the ground

Verse:
I've told myself so many times
I've given up
But that state of mind never stays
And here we go around again...

End...
With an irresistible blend of reggae induced hip-hop and catchy pop-punk hooks, Half Chance Heroes captivates audiences with their unique sound and energetic stage show. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T8bSU0u8uvM
#2
she don't love me ?
it's : she doesn't love me. retard
Let's Have A Game On A Teddy Picker
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#3
Good for a punk song,. Simple, direct to the point. But wouldnt another verse be helpful, asuming this would be played at a punk speed it would be 1:40 long?. Unless you intended it to be that short, if it sound good to you keep it
#4
Quote by Descendent-182
This is a song I wrote in like seriously 5 minutes but I'm actually pretty happy with it. Tell me what you guys think. I was going for an old school pop punk sorta thing like the descendents. Crit 4 Crit.

Verse:
I never had the greatest luck
And I know I never will
It's not that I don't give a ****
That's just the way it's always been
And here we go around again...

I don't like how simple the last two lines rhymed.. kinda pathetic when you think about it, as if you werent trying, but then again you wrote it "in like 5 minutes"

Chorus:
I love her but she don't love me
Don't know how many times I've told that story
Everytime I try I get cut down
I'm sick of picking my soul up off the ground

Pretty good, flowed pretty well... and the message was easily conveyed I suppose.

Verse:
I've told myself so many times
I've given up
But that state of mind never stays
And here we go around again...

You told yourself so many times that you've given up? I'm confused..

End...


All in all it wasn't too bad... most of these "punk" songs that these kids post are absolutely ridiculously lame, but I won't throw this one into the fire.. lol

Crit mine? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=831179
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