Matt Chavie
aspiring breakdancer...
Join date: Jul 2007
2,648 IQ
First off every title I have is a joke. This is a more finished product of an intro I posted forever ago, one that I didn't know what to do with. I might get around to adding drums eventually. There is a piano bridge that I still need to write but other than that it is all done. Crit 4 crit. Thanks.
I Left My Horse In
Last edited by Matt Chavie at Apr 6, 2008,
Registered User
Join date: Sep 2007
1,166 IQ
The bridge and outro feel a little disconnected to me.
Matt Chavie
aspiring breakdancer...
Join date: Jul 2007
2,648 IQ
I think with drums it would tie in well, as it would with vocals, just my opinion however.
Da DrUmMa
Insane Beast
Join date: Nov 2007
397 IQ
i really liked the intro/outro but the verses sounded VERY generic. the 5-4-7-8 palm mutes were too slow, and the whole thing moved too slow. consolation:speed verse 1 to verse 2 up 2x and its sounds pretty cool. the bridge should lead off into somthing other than the verse. expand on that little riff in the bridge or something.

the breakdown sounds TERRIBLE on midi. theres a limit on how many clashes you can have before it sounds like a 3 yr old trying to be funny by picking any two black and white keys right next to each other on a piano.

also work on transitions between sections

overall 5/10 half was great, other half wasnt :-/ sorry to be harsh but at least im honest.
thanks for the crit btw