#1
This another set of lyrics of mine that I wrote. I wrote it in about 10 Minutes so keep that in mind lol. Please feel free to crit. I think the lyrics give a way what the song is about so no need for me to to tell you here.

Chorus
And she left here with the devil on her shoulder
Day after day she grows a little colder
And I have to watch my little girl grow older

Verse1
And where innocence gets crucified
I’m sleeping by myself tonight
And the world just keeps getting older

Verse2
It can’t be justified
But it’s fact that can’t be denied
The world is growing colder

Chorus
And she left with the devil on her shoulder
Day after day she grows a little colder
And I have to watch my little girl grow older

Verse3
You belong by my side
But I failed to protect what was on the inside
And the lights get a little lower

Verse4
The girl I knew is dead and gone
And As far as I know Jesus doesn’t owe me any favors
The world never gets any slower

Chorus
And she left her with the devil on her shoulder
Day after day she grows a little colder
And I have to watch my little girl grow older…
#2
wow this is good. it seems short but you wrote it in 10 minutes so i understand that. i like the rhyming. none of it seemed forced which is always good

crit mine: they're called gotta do it now, can this be real, & one more day
you just witnessed the heart-stopping, door-locking, history makin, pants-droppin, earth-shakin, body quakin, lip-quivering, body-tickilin, love-makin fang
#4
well when i was writing it i was stumming some chords on an acoustic, so for this one i guess i'll say acoustic soft rock
#5
soft acoustic rock eh? Yeah man, I really like this. Especially the connection with the chorus and the first and second verses. The rhymes hold it all together and makes this a solid piece, they connect everything and they aren't forced which is very good.
Very nice.


Love the Low end
#6
Hey this is pretty dang good man. Add a little bit more meat to some of the verses though - just a few words here and there to make it flow more easily. Then it would be great.