Page 1 of 2
#2
whoever wrote that must be a virgin
Remember through sounds
Remember through smells
Remember through colors
Remember through towns
-Modest Mouse, "Novocaine Stain"
#3
"Make sure you know how to play the guitar first! You won't be a great teacher otherwise."
Rock Crawler of the UG Jeepers
PM Dirk Gently to join if you've got a Jeep
#7
haha, well they didnt include the best thing to say, "hey babe, now that you plucked my g-string, let me pluck yours"
Quote by mrwaffles
I sh*t every 7 minutes. I stand on my roof and let it fly into the neighbor's yard. I never wipe.
#8
i do it way better
Quote by Briyan_15
I think this man has a reputation to defend and "poop head" is not in that reputation.


Quote by omegasus
RUSSELL! WHAT THE ****!!!!
#9
Don't wrap your arms around her for too long when you are positioning the guitar for her.


LOLOL
peanuts and beers
#10
I thought it was cute..

I need to try it, nop?
Lord Gold feeds from your orifices and he wants to see you sweat.
Lord Gold probes you publicly and makes your pussy wet.
Now say his name.....
#11
Things You'll Need

* Guitar
* Yourself
* Girlfriend or a friend that is a girl

#12
I wasn't gonna write anything, but then i read "making sure to touch her as much as possible" and "Don't be too hard on her "

oh man. i lol'd.
Quote by DiMeTiMe
+3.141592

Quote by imgooley
It was such a good suggestion you gave him pi?

yeah, he gave me pi.
#13
The guide forgot to mention the part where you play I Cum Blood, or Entrails Ripped From A Vigirn's Cunt.
Quote by drunkinkoala
Yes, I would masturbate a horse.

Quote by Hcmanu
So there you have it kids, You're not eating easter eggs, you're eating the parastic-like insides of rabbits. Happy Easter, I've got a corpse to rape!
#15
Quote by Najarok
The guide forgot to mention the part where you play I Cum Blood, or Entrails Ripped From A Vigirn's Cunt.


thats in the: how to score a super freaky death metal chick by teaching her how to play guitar wikihow, wow thats a mouthful
#16
Quote by Pigs_onthe_wing
haha, well they didnt include the best thing to say, "hey babe, now that you plucked my g-string, let me pluck yours"



that should definitely be added to that guide!
Guitar:
Schecter Omen 6 (Dimarzio X2N & Tone Zone)
Amps:
Engl Fireball
Genz Benz G-Flex 2x12 Cab
#20
Quote by QuiatFat
I've actually done this before.


Me too. Well, I kinda just showed a girl how to play a one-string version of the Smoke On The Water main riff on my bass. Because she asked.


It took about 15 mins. 0_o
#21
wow TS, how'd you stumble upon that one?
.
..
...
I have no opinion on this matter.
#22
i like the Things Youll Need section lmao. Ive gotten a girl before doin this. In all honesty, I got a girl by her wanting me to give her a guitar lesson and I started playing Planet Caravan by Black Sabbath
Originally Posted by fatdanny
Also, check out Autopsy, the vocalist sounds like hes about to eat your grandmother while f
#23
my gf hates my lessons, don't ever give them a lesson withe the expectation of learning, only sex or a lawsuit for excessive fondling...


Current Rig:
Ltd EC1000 deluxe
Ltd FX260
Peavey Valveking 112
Shure Super 55
Shure Pg 58
Behringer Kx1200
#24
i did something like that once but we were really drunk and stoned so it didn't work too well....she was all over me anyway
Not the way I play guitar hero. I 5 stared free bird on the first try! Ima be a rock star..... as soon as my parents buy me a guitar.
#26
damn it UG,

you keep giving me more bull**** to put on my to-do list
i say Of
you say A
i say Revolution
and you say jah



In loving memory of that damn game of poker





Private first class of the bass militia, PM Nutter_101 to join!
#27
Actually, if you're not a dick about it, this really works very well. Don't follow the guide word-for-word, but yeah, girls generally like this.
#29
HOLY RUSTED METAL! girls are always asking me to teach them how to play. I might take heed to their requests now
I Like My Music Like I Like My Life

EVERYTHING LOUDER THAN EVERYTHING ELSE!
#31
Already done it
I could write songs as bad as Wham's if I really felt the urge to, but what's the point? - RS
#32
Already done it
I could write songs as bad as Wham's if I really felt the urge to, but what's the point? - RS
#33
Please, please. I have my own foolproof strategy.

1) Get close with the girl you like. Try to compliment her.
2) Ask for her phone number/IM name. Find excuses to talk to her, like to talk about the homework.
3) Let her know that you play guitar (subtly). She'll likely be interested.
4) When you're talking about it, ask if she'd like you to give her a guitar lesson.
5) Invite her over for the lesson, and CHLOROFORM HER ASS AND HAVE YOUR FUCKING WAY WITH HER (and I think you know what I'm talking about... I'm talking about rape.)
#35
What if you have OCD or something, that lesson ain't gonna be pretty.
You: "For the last f*cking time! its a hammer-on not a legato slide! Dammit! It's like teaching a dog to talk!
Girl: 'Cries and spends next 4 months in therapy'
Gear:
Jackson Dinky DK2L
Epiphone LP Standard
Yamaha Acoustic
Bugera 1990 w/ Peavey 2x12 cab
#37
Quote by wikihow
Teach her some basics, making sure to touch her as much as possible.


Now that's ****ing creepy
Quote by GLP_Arclite
Pooping is well good though, to be fair.


I've got a handle on the fiction.

I'm losing my grip, 'cos I'm losing my fingers.
#38
whats so funny? i did it, and then she asked me to prom.
Jesus wouldn't give you the sweat off of his balls if you were dying of thirst.
Quote by Code-E
God, you've gotta be UG's only moron!


Quote by magnum1117
that's right,you certainly are UG's only moron.


Quote by necrosis1193
Read the moron's posts, ironically enough he knows what he says.
#39
Somebody changed it up a little. Lol @ Tears in Heaven.
Quote by Johnljones7443
my neew year reslosutions are not too drikn as much lol.

happy new yeeae guyas.
#40
this is old "make sure you teach her by touching her as much as possible" xD
Page 1 of 2