#1
From the first time I read his words, Edgar Allen Poe enthralled me. The talent and beauty in his writing captured me. My favourite was, of course, The Raven. And I had the great luck of finding an audio recording of Christopher Walken reading The Raven. He breathed new life into the words and captured me once again. After hearing this, I sat and wrote this poem as an homage to the works of Mr. Poe.

The Beast Of Nevermore

Fearing visions of terror,
I flee into the dreamlands of nevermore.
Where neither you nor I shall whether,
The pain your heart has borne.

Yet fleeing fast, I chance strayed past,
And I took the wrong door.
Racing past a soaring fire,
I simply missed, nevermore.

Knowing now of my mistake, I sought,
A guide or token, or the beast of nevermore.
In futile quest and stabbing fear, still I fled down the halls,
With footsteps ringing, ringing, throughout the halls of nevermore.

And then, by chance or fate, I happened to enter,
A chamber with a grand chair, placed in its centre.
And all around sat the wraiths of pain and fear,
And on the chair, the beast did cry,
‘Come hither, lost one, do not fear.’

Taking his gentle words, as nothing but truth,
I gently breathed, to calm my knees, and stepped into the room.
And once the wraiths assaulted, but the beast did look revolted,
And in anger and despair, rose out of his chair, crying,
‘Why is it you assault this lost boy?’

Knowing not the answer, the wraiths retreated,
And my soul was heavy no more.
And in my eyes, the veils were lifted,
And I knew I was in nevermore.

Taking all in consideration, the beast of the nation,
Called me forth to the front of his chair.
Trusting his words, and ignoring the wraiths,
Who writhed and howled in their chairs,
Knowing not why or how – or not caring to know,
My legs, against my heart, did go.

And again the wraiths assailed me, and with an answer ready,
Bid the beast to stay his assault.
‘He is ours,’ cried they, ‘he has come our way,
To escape from the sadness above.’

The beast, knowing this was true, said,
‘There is nothing I can do.
Fleeing sadness is like fleeing the air.
One cannot escape something, that is everywhere.’

Fleeing once again, from the chamber now dim,
With the veils sealing over my eyes.
I cried as I ran, past fire and door,
‘Nevermore, nevermore, nevermore.’

Fearing visions of terror,
I flee into the dreamlands of nevermore, nevermore.
For I learnt my lesson, for a lesson it was,
From the beast of nevermore.

The beast, in his wisdom, said, with gentle voice,
With words that, even now, still reverberate in my head,
‘Fleeing sadness is like fleeing the air.
One cannot escape something, something that is everywhere.’
And I flee nevermore,
Nevermore.
Last edited by kdownes at Apr 9, 2008,
#2
cooooooooool
'08 Gretsch White Falcon
'98 Fender USA Deluxe Tele
'79 Greco Les Paul Standard
Airline Stratotone Crafter GAE8

A bunch of funky pedals

Handwired 50 Watt Plexi Lead Clone w/ Orange 4x12
#4
Fearing visions of terror,
I flee into the dreamlands of nevermore.
Where neither you nor I shall whether,
The pain your heart has borne.

Yet fleeing fast, I chance strayed past, the 'I chance' part of this line doesn't make sense
And I took the wrong door.
Racing past a soaring fire,
I simply missed, nevermore. did you simply miss the fire here? and the nevermore part doesn't fit in with the rest of the line

Knowing now of my mistake, I sought,
A guide or token, or the beast of nevermore.
In futile quest and stabbing fear, still I fled down the halls,
With footsteps ringing, ringing, throughout the halls of nevermore.

And then, by chance or fate, I happened to enter,
A chamber with a grand chair, placed in its centre.
And all around sat the wraiths of pain and fear,
And on the chair, the beast did cry,
‘Come hither, lost one, do not fear.’

Taking his gentle words, as nothing but the truth, you don't need 'the' in this line
I gently breathed, to calm my knees, and stepped into the room.
And once the wraiths assaulted, but the beast did look revolted,
And in anger and despair, rose out of his chair, crying,
‘Why is it you assault this lost boy?’

I couldn't find anything wrong with the rest of this piece, it is very good.
#5
this is amazing. the only thing i had a problem with was the flow in some spots but the quality of this peice more than made up for that. the only thing ive heard from poe was the raven on the simpsons but i loved it and this seems like a sister poem to it if that makes sense.
so in conclusion; very impresive, and you rock.

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=832624
#7
Thanx for the crits guys. I'll address deceiveroffools comments first. The "I chance" is "by chance I", but shortened to sound cooler. And in this poem, Nevermore is a place. So when it says, "I simply missed, nevermore" it means that he missed the path leading to Nevermore. I hope this clears some things up. Thanks again for all the crits