#2
wow, you did a great job on this!! the transition from one part to the next is perfect in my opinion, and it's got a great overall sound to it.
#3
nice intro riff, the intro riff ones its all started sound absolutly brilliant, perfect mix and sound and tone is great, the riff over the disco drum beats is great,

needs vocals to accompany a great riff list and structure.

over all i think the song is great very good work look forward to listening to more pieces

also *ive just starting to learn to mix for my songs* but thanks for the crit all welcome
#4
nice job. the riff at 1:20 reminds me of mastodon... dont know why. Very nice.
#5
Hey, thanks for the crits!

Anyone have anything they would change?
All my photobucket pics are dead so no links to my guitar build threads.
My Music
#7
Sounded sweet. Alot like SOAD. I loved the last 25 seconds or so. The only thing I would add or change is maybe a small solo or lick somewhere.
To a shredder, a second is a long time.

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#8
Yeah, there are some more guitar parts planned. We're thinking this will stay instrumental 100%... or it could have lyrics in its current form.
All my photobucket pics are dead so no links to my guitar build threads.
My Music
#9
the intro is pretty much perfect, cant say much to add there, its really catchy and melodic!


the middle section however seems to have empty sections of it, that to me sounds like it need either a) lyrics or b) a more melodic section on top of the rhythm at parts where it sound 'empty' eg 1:45 - 1:55.

i think there could be a bit more seperation, eg the rythm could start only at the right and then the next few layers could be just the left and then melody in the middle of it all.

crit my short song start..?

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=831982

"The mind is its own place, and in itself

Can make a Heav'n of Hell, a Hell of Heav'n"

- John Milton, Paradise Lost
#10
Oh yeah, thats the first half of the "verse." (1:45-1:55)

I started thinking no lyrics on this, and maybe we'll put some synths in there?

A lead guitar part is planned to take the place of the vocal melody throughout, so there will some more melody/harmony to spice it up a bit.
All my photobucket pics are dead so no links to my guitar build threads.
My Music
#12
Yeah, something extra will round it out, I agree.

We'll work on it some more and I will upload an updated version.


Ouch... I just got 3 stars on my favorite song I've posted! Damn.
All my photobucket pics are dead so no links to my guitar build threads.
My Music
#13
I love the intro, and build up into the song. It gets you pumped, the only thing is when you hit that 39 second mark, I was expecting a big explosion and instead it kind of went down in volume, but you made up for it going into the verse like thing right after.

The bridge into the chorus is great!!! The chorus is pretty good, definitely has a great structure for singing over it. The outro of the chorus is kinda random but works well.

Okay, now the breakdown after the third chorus...i can see that being realllllllly sick dude. obviously you dont have amazing drums cause you're using a drum machine and stuff but if you had the money for a professional recording that breakdown could be really heavy and sound amazing.

The end... kind of sudden, maybe more of a finishing note? not sure...

Overall this song has a lot of potential man, I love the riffs.
#14
Yep, you hit on a lot of points we had already discussed. This is a rough mix after just 6 hours of work, or something like that. We need to double the guitar on the transition part (quiet part)

We also need to do some serious drum work to the outro... my friend said exactly what you did. I wish we could find someone to track drums for real on this.. but nobody has the recording setup to do it.
All my photobucket pics are dead so no links to my guitar build threads.
My Music
#15
Like said above the intro is great because of the buildup that is has and although the riff that follows it is really good it seems to be a bit of a let down after that building intro. If you could place something between the two riffs that'd be great.

1:09-1:27, really liked this riff especially toward the beginning of it, probably my favorite of the song.
1:28-2:05, very nice riff and pretty heavy.
Using the intro back in the middle of the song didn't really seem to fit because of how much heavier your other riffs were, possibly a spot for a solo?

The outro could use a little bit of work, to me it just didn't fit with the other riffs.

You've got some really good riffs in this song, just adding some or taking some out would be the main thing I would say but great job.

C4C? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=836418 Any of the songs would be fine if you do, thanks a lot.
#16
Quote by zeroyon
Yep, you hit on a lot of points we had already discussed. This is a rough mix after just 6 hours of work, or something like that. We need to double the guitar on the transition part (quiet part)

We also need to do some serious drum work to the outro... my friend said exactly what you did. I wish we could find someone to track drums for real on this.. but nobody has the recording setup to do it.


Dude get the program Addictive Drums, you can buy it or steal it off of a torrent site. The drum tracks are amazing, thats what I used for my song fiction.
#17
Fucking awsome bro, now this is real straight up metal \m/ ,loved the tone
Wolv
#18
Is addictive drums a VST plugin?

Thedarkwolf, I'm glad you loved the tone... we're pretty proud of it.
All my photobucket pics are dead so no links to my guitar build threads.
My Music
#20
I think this has the potential to be a really good song man. I definately think it needs vocals, however, because as an instrumental you really start to realize when you hear the same riff twice. The structure would also suit vocals very well. The guitars need to be more forward in the mix, theyre too quiet how they are. I think you should fool with the settings on the bass too, give it a little more low end, maybe a little bit of grit. It sounds kind of bouncy how it is and I think it takes away from the heavyness of the song, but thats just my opinion. Overall a very good start. Keep working with it!

C4C? http://ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=837683
Are you Pactworthy?
#21
Sweet song dude. Love the riffs. Tone is also quite nice. Love that the bass isnt buried.
Really something like SOAD. The vibe it creates is quite cool - vocals would be a nice addition.
Only thing i would change would be to maybe bump the upper mids on the rhythm guitar a tad bit to let it cut through. The outro is superb.

Crit mine plz: https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=839837
Gear:
ESP LTD EC1000
Douglas Spad (Alder) [ custom wired with EMG and Passives ] : Kramer Striker FR424SM
Line 6 POD X3Live : Digitech Rp80 : Tascam US144
Kustom Sound (crappy ass) solid state amp
Old Steel String Acoustic (some local company)
#22
I thought the bass was too loud in the mix but didn't realize it on my friend's monitors when I mixed it. Once I brought it home and listened I heard it jump out and realized it needs to be cut back.

The drums are too quiet, for sure... they need more of a crack when the kick and snare hits.

The song was arranged for vocals, thats why it doesn't have a sick lead part all across it and also why the riffs repeat.


Kramer1309, I thought the rhythm guitar cut through really well. Are you listening on decent speakers in stereo? It's doubled and panned left/right. I realize tone is opinion, but thats one I thought was perfect.

It's pretty cool you guys all pick up on the System of a Down influence. I'm pretty happy to be compared to one of my favorite bands. When I wrote the intro part, I intentionally thought of SOAD. The rest grew organically from there.
All my photobucket pics are dead so no links to my guitar build threads.
My Music
#23
Yeah - i can hear both the panned tracks
Sorry - i guess i used the wrong words.
Its not that it doesn't cut through, but i found it a little flat, try boosting the upper mids (round 4kHz), i find it brings the guitars to life.

I;m not saying your eqing is bad, just a suggestion - might work, might not... :P Generally does for me.
Gear:
ESP LTD EC1000
Douglas Spad (Alder) [ custom wired with EMG and Passives ] : Kramer Striker FR424SM
Line 6 POD X3Live : Digitech Rp80 : Tascam US144
Kustom Sound (crappy ass) solid state amp
Old Steel String Acoustic (some local company)
#24
Alright, I'll give it a go and see what happens.
All my photobucket pics are dead so no links to my guitar build threads.
My Music
#25
I really enjoyed this. The recording quality is great. The drums were great. It was very energetic. I liked it a lot, even the simpler parts. I really wouldn't change a thing. The drum beat at 1:41 makes me want to dance lol. Fits the song perfectly, though.

C4C?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=840430
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#26
Good riffs. Awesome bass line, although the bass is a bit too loud I think. I think you should add vocal parts, if you can come up with the right melody, it would add so much to the song. Turn up the drum track, it will make it sound heavier

C4C? http://ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=840469
Gear:
Fender Diamond Anniversary Stratocaster
Washburn Dime V Pro
Peavy Bandit 112
Fender Frontman 15R


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#27
Quote by nexteyenate
I really enjoyed this. The recording quality is great. The drums were great. It was very energetic. I liked it a lot, even the simpler parts. I really wouldn't change a thing. The drum beat at 1:41 makes me want to dance lol. Fits the song perfectly, though.

C4C?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=840430



Thats funny you say that... somebody called it a Disco beat. It wasn't intended to be so dancey sounding, thats just how it turned out. The bouncy bassline adds to that effect. I'm not sure yet if thats a positive or a negative.
All my photobucket pics are dead so no links to my guitar build threads.
My Music
#28
cool man, I like the riff and when it changes at :40. I'm not sure how to take the sticcato bass line, could use some more movement maybe. I hear the drums do some disco stuff for a bit, which is weird but not all that out of place.Guitar tones are good, mixing is pretty good too, nice job panning the guitars.
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#29
Very nice job on this, man. Excellent guitar tone, guitar riffs, and transitions. The mix was excellent, to boot. If you ended up putting vocals over this, it'd be friggin amazing. One thing I would suggest is to change the ending. Maybe after that last riff go back into the riff at :58, and end it after that. It might give the song some more closure. Overall, though, the song sounds great.

I also listened to some of your other stuff, which was also very well done. I love your funk instrumental - very cool.

Crit mine? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=841768