#1
On my profile, it's the first song : red leather


It's all me on there, but it's a bit directionless right now. I feel like it's just missing something, and any advice or criticism would be really helpful. I haven't got lyrics on any of my songs cause I can't really sing, but I do have them written for this, though they're slightly incomplete -

[intro]
[verse 1]

[chorus]
get off that high horse, honey
you're running on looks not money
cause it's a fetish, your own little treasure
is red leather, red leather

[verse 2]
she wears lipstick in three shades of black
and she's a feisty one, don't turn your back
cause in a second, she'll be all over you
yea you won't have a clue what the fuck you should do

[chorus]
get off that high horse, honey
you're running on looks not money
cause it's a fetish, your own little treasure
is red leather, red leather

[verse 3]
out on a saturday night with her friends
she's not as classy as she pretends
she's all fur coat, and no knickers
champagne and vodka kickers

[break]

[chorus]
Check out 8-Bit Trip!
www.myspace.com/8BitTrip

-·-·-·[ Music Squirrel ]·-·-·-

Also, get on my profile and friend me, bitches!
#2
I would throw a bridge in their somewhere, perhaps break from the synth (that is what that is, right?) kind of go at it a bit. It was pretty good, though.
#3
Cheers There is sort of a break in it already, but it's just a short 4 bar bit, it could really do with extending
Check out 8-Bit Trip!
www.myspace.com/8BitTrip

-·-·-·[ Music Squirrel ]·-·-·-

Also, get on my profile and friend me, bitches!
#4
well, i really like the part coming in around 40 seconds.

i would let the guitar take over the rhythm a bit more. obviously throw a solo or two in there. some pentatonic fills maybe.

also, have a bass and drum section trade off thing.
all those could help with the song. without sitting down with you and learning what you are doing i cant really suggest much more.


take a look at some of my stuff? this is the newest one, https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=830064
but if that isnt really your kind of thing, try one of the ones listed in my sig!
thanks!