#1
I jam all the time with a friend and he pretty much writes a lot of lyrics for our group thing. So I thought about some stuff and decided to try and write something. I'm new to writing lyrics and right now the piece is called "Broken" (A WIP). It's about felling dead inside or betrayed after a relationship hurt you and about trying to build back a friendship. It could be about a bad relationship with a sibling, parent, girlfriend, friend, or really anything, but I guess I'm not 100% sure. Any feedback or criticism will be greatly appreciated. Anyways, here it is.

Verse 1:
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Fall to pieces and tear apart
From the finish to the start
I know that you don't care
This is going nowhere but
Don't hurt it, it wants to thrive
Please help me keep it alive
I need it, can't you see?
But without it I am free


Verse 2:
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It cannot speak it only stares
Imagine the pain that it must bare
Grab its heart and pull it out
Chop it up and throw it down
Now put those pieces back together
In this puzzle of human leather
Its mind is gone it cannot feel
What is fake and what is real


Chorus 1:
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It's been used
Parts are lost
It's been ripped and
Torn apart
Why lie?
You're outspoken
It's over now
It's broken


Chorus 2:
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I am used
I am lost
I am lied to
Who's to trust?
You are fake
And outspoken
It's over but
I'm still broken

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Right now the order is:

Verse 1
Chorus 1
Verse 2
Chorus 1
(Bridge, still working on something)
Chorus 1
Chorus 2

Thanks for reading if you did.
#2
Hmmmm well i relate to this song a lot. I really like the feeling of it although i cant really get into the words themselves. It doesnt flow for me and some of the lines seem kinda random. But its pretty good for a first song ever =)
#3
Thanks, Ill try and make it make more sense. When I talk about "it", it is the relationship.