Hello. My name is Mbutu. I come in peace.

I herald from the plains of Africa in a village. I thank AT&T for allowing me opportunity to speak you. They give me phone and 2mb broadband for ₦159 a month deal. Very good. I come to you with sadness in my heart. Sadness that has grown like fungus under a **** pipe because of Mr. Mugabe.

Mr. Mugabe is tearing Africa apart. Aside from wasting paper, he also murder thousands of my fellow Africans and raise interest rates on everything but phone/broadband deals. A goat cost ₦40000. He rape my country yet nobody help. We vote but it make no difference, Mugabe eat all out votes. We try to tell world but they dont listen. If a tree gets murdered and nobody around, does tree not die?

That is why I come to you. For help of Africa and removal of Mr. Mugabe. With your help I set up militia to rape and murder dictator. My friend Saka Bingkoto found gun on eBay we need buy to end suffering. I set up PayPal account so Mr. Mugabe cannot get to my money. Having sold goat over eBay I now have ₦200 but AT&T bill come this Thursday so very little left for smith and wesson.

Sadly I not allowed to ask for money so must simply ask for your support. Please sign petition. With good exposure maybe rich man like Denzil Washington will donate to my PayPal and I buy gun to rape and murder Mr. Mugabe and finish job Mr. Geldof and prick with sunglasses failed to complete.

I thank from bottom of heart you.

Please. My country is being raped.