#1
Okay, so I've been seeing all the stories on UG about like how they kicked ass or something, so I figured, why not just put everyone's badass stories in a thread?

So, got a story in which you felt pretty damn awesome?
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#2
The time I failed my 11/14 tests for French and pulled a 78 average for French

I'm also in immersion

My teacher must ne really badass or dumb as a schitt


Made by 'The Sloganizer' ----> «The Pit - be prepared.»

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"Billy eat your broccolli!"

"Screw you mom!" *raises arms*

PHEAR MA TURRETS!!
#3
Once, this guy started a thread, telling people to write badass stories, then, the thread was closed, and everyone was happy.

The end.
#4
i was in a class with a really hot teacher. i forgot to do a VERY important paper (they don't let you become a teacher if you get an F on this paper) so i hammered it out in 2 hours, handed it in 3 days late and she gave me a 100% on it. later on in the class, i had to do a 2-day observation with an even hotter teacher. then i beat up a biker and drove my car over a canyon.
#5
I circumcized myself with a butcher's knife.
...Nothing you've ever...
...Planned on ever turned out...
...The way you planned...


...You're still disappointing them...
#7
Quote by schecter_guy
i was in a class with a really hot teacher. i forgot to do a VERY important paper (they don't let you become a teacher if you get an F on this paper) so i hammered it out in 2 hours, handed it in 3 days late and she gave me a 100% on it. later on in the class, i had to do a 2-day observation with an even hotter teacher. then i beat up a biker and drove my car over a canyon.


That was actually pretty good.
#8
Meh, I guess I should put mine in now.

I have explained in another thread that I have a fake gun (orange part painted over) that I use for a deterrent. I also know a little martial arts, so that helps. Anyway, I was walking with my friend around Downtown Portland, and this guy walks up with a knife and threatens us. We had just turned a corner, and were being backed into a wall.

So I reach into my coat to get the fake gun out of my home-made duct tape holster, and pointed it at the guy like an idiot. The guy took the "gun" and pointed it at us, throwing his knife away. My friend damn near pissed himself (I have told NOBODY about my gun). Anyway, I reached over behind me to grab his knife. He pulled the trigger. He said, and I quote, "****." And, he ran away. Apparently there wasn't much power to him other than the knife.

Say it's fake, whatever. There really is no way to prove it, aside from my account.
Hey look, a stoner/doom album.

GENERATION 27: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.

E-father of TheSPillow/Sam
E-brothers with Entity0009
#9
I jumped over a raising drawbridge in my 69 Dodge Challenger while getting road head.


oh and i forgot to mention Mobsters were chasing at me and shooting rifle rounds through my back windshield. Pantera's slaughtered was playing on the radio too.
#10
i have a really badass headache and i think my head is about to explode.


that and i used to storm insurgent houses in afghanistan with a few other guys.
Last edited by Necronomicon at Apr 10, 2008,
#11
Quote by Necronomicon
i have a really badass headache and i think my head is about to explode.


also i used to storm insurgent houses in afghanistan with a few other guys.


thats as bad ass as it gets my friends.
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#12
I once took on Gandalf, Chuck Norris, Darth Vader and Randy Savage with nothing but a Nerf bat and a can of part string.... Needless to say... I won.
#13
Quote by DaveGilmour1189
I jumped over a raising drawbridge in my 69 Dodge Challenger while getting road head.


oh and i forgot to mention Mobsters were chasing at me and shooting rifle rounds through my back windshield. Pantera's slaughtered was playing on the radio too.

You know, I didn't think much of that story until you mentioned Slaugher by Pantera.

You are full of epic win.
sig goes here
#14
Quote by labria86
I once took on Gandalf, Chuck Norris, Darth Vader and Randy Savage with nothing but a Nerf bat and a can of part string.... Needless to say... I won.


I call bull****.

Nobody can take down macho man Randy Savage.
#15
I yelled out "You shall not pass!" right before I ***** slapped them with my nerf bat.... Gandalf was unappreciative.
#16
The it the cow.
Last.Fm

“If there was anything that depressed him more than his own cynicism, it was that quite often it still wasn't as cynical as real life.”
― Terry Pratchett

qft...



Jeremy Clarkson is a knob.
#17
In the middle of the desert, my tires rest over the dry brown cracked dirt, It was night,and the crikets were singing. Sitting ontop of the iron horse, my motor growling at the thin air infront of me. The cold flowing around me, the dry desert shrubs littered the land, the stars twinkled within the black sky,

And then I shat myself
#18
I love how creative people are getting. Then I wonder...what if we made this into UG: The book.
Hey look, a stoner/doom album.

GENERATION 27: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.

E-father of TheSPillow/Sam
E-brothers with Entity0009
#19
Creative?? Creative?! Are you calling these people liars?! Can't you see that they risked life and limb in these situations, and decided to share with you their horrific experiences, and you imply that they are fabricating their stories?! How dare you!
sig goes here
#21
Quote by cjblack532
I love how creative people are getting. Then I wonder...what if we made this into UG: The book.


nah, that book would have half book already dedicated to the A7xOwns saga, the Cas extended April fools joke, and Vincent747's shenanigans.
#22
Heh. Oh, and to the person two posts above.

God, you are such a nomad. I want you for butsechs.
Hey look, a stoner/doom album.

GENERATION 27: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.

E-father of TheSPillow/Sam
E-brothers with Entity0009
#23
Quote by cjblack532
Meh, I guess I should put mine in now.

I have explained in another thread that I have a fake gun (orange part painted over) that I use for a deterrent. I also know a little martial arts, so that helps. Anyway, I was walking with my friend around Downtown Portland, and this guy walks up with a knife and threatens us. We had just turned a corner, and were being backed into a wall.

So I reach into my coat to get the fake gun out of my home-made duct tape holster, and pointed it at the guy like an idiot. The guy took the "gun" and pointed it at us, throwing his knife away. My friend damn near pissed himself (I have told NOBODY about my gun). Anyway, I reached over behind me to grab his knife. He pulled the trigger. He said, and I quote, "****." And, he ran away. Apparently there wasn't much power to him other than the knife.

Say it's fake, whatever. There really is no way to prove it, aside from my account.

Fucking owned.
I'LL PUNCH A DONKEY IN THE STREETS OF GALWAY
#24
i made an extremely violent and inappropriate animated movie for a project in school. and got a 120 out of 100 on it. it was so ****ed up too. sweet
<//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\>
<//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\>
<//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\>
#25
I was surfing on a hoverboard, over a tsunami, in the middle of a thunderstorm, through a city. A three-headed dragon loomed before me, and I struck it down with a laser from the neck of my Ibanez Rocket Roll V, powered by a riff played at 1500 notes per second. I also died, but I'm still alive.

"Rock You Like A Hurricane" was playing in the background.
#26
I was driving down mainstreet (of me local town) and this blue truck came up behind me and started tail-gaiting me and such. He tried passing me but a car was coming, I slowed way down just to piss him off. He ended up passing me further down the road, and I stayed at a slow speed for a little while after he had passed me. But before he got too far away I sped up and started closing the distance. As I got extremely close to his rear bumper, he gave me the finger and made a fist out his window. Every time he gestured I honked the horn a couple times (not long, just short beeps as if I was honking at someone I knew).
He was so jacked. I don't know why, I just felt pretty damn awesome. Which is strange, because normally I don't get off by screwin' with people. Nonetheless, it was pretty fun though.
#27
Oh man, I love doing that, getting into the high speed lane on the freeway, and sitting right next to a truck going 10 miles below. Oh man...I got the finger, but I mooned a guy, haha.
Hey look, a stoner/doom album.

GENERATION 27: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.

E-father of TheSPillow/Sam
E-brothers with Entity0009
#28
A time I felt badass....

well it was just last night, I was driving home from work. I approach a red light, so I am gradually slowing down, and I can see that this SUV of some sort is tailgating me like a mother ****er. So, here I am at the red light, as the light is getting ready to change, I can see the SUV in my rear view mirror, move and try to go around me, so the light changes and I step on it. Now, I drive a dodge neon, the SUV was an explorer I believe. Point is, that ****er tried to get around me, and I didn't let him, I kicked his ass, whether he tried or not doesn't matter, cause I embarrassed him. For a second, me and him were neck and neck, my high end torque kicks in and bam, zoom past the guy. Don't know what his problem was, he was tailgating me to begin with, then he tries to pull his little stunt, but I showed him. Man shortly after that I got home and parked, and man, so much adrenaline. It was a thing of beauty. I felt Bad ass!!!!!!!
anybody wanna put anything here just let me know
#29
Quote by StJimmy88
I was driving down mainstreet (of me local town) and this blue truck came up behind me and started tail-gaiting me and such. He tried passing me but a car was coming, I slowed way down just to piss him off. He ended up passing me further down the road, and I stayed at a slow speed for a little while after he had passed me. But before he got too far away I sped up and started closing the distance. As I got extremely close to his rear bumper, he gave me the finger and made a fist out his window. Every time he gestured I honked the horn a couple times (not long, just short beeps as if I was honking at someone I knew).
He was so jacked. I don't know why, I just felt pretty damn awesome. Which is strange, because normally I don't get off by screwin' with people. Nonetheless, it was pretty fun though.

im surprised he didn't slam the brakes in front of you, especially if he'd have been in a ****ty car..
#30
Quote by cjblack532
Meh, I guess I should put mine in now.

I have explained in another thread that I have a fake gun (orange part painted over) that I use for a deterrent. I also know a little martial arts, so that helps. Anyway, I was walking with my friend around Downtown Portland, and this guy walks up with a knife and threatens us. We had just turned a corner, and were being backed into a wall.

So I reach into my coat to get the fake gun out of my home-made duct tape holster, and pointed it at the guy like an idiot. The guy took the "gun" and pointed it at us, throwing his knife away. My friend damn near pissed himself (I have told NOBODY about my gun). Anyway, I reached over behind me to grab his knife. He pulled the trigger. He said, and I quote, "****." And, he ran away. Apparently there wasn't much power to him other than the knife.

Say it's fake, whatever. There really is no way to prove it, aside from my account.

This is one of the funniest things i've ever read