Poll: Can you effectivly butter bread
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View poll results: Can you effectivly butter bread
No way
9 7%
I can but there are a few holes
29 21%
Yes I can
51 38%
My butterings perfect, to the edges and evenly
46 34%
Voters: 135.
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#1
Ok, this is just one thing that i cannot do to save my life!

No matter how i approach it, i can never butter a piece of bread without mutilating it. I've tried the spreadable stuff and it just won't do it.

So UG, can you butter bread well, and evenly, and who else shares in this disibility i seam to have.

On a side not, i can butter toast very well!
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#4
Heat up the knife, makes it easier.

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#6
Yeah I can do it really easily. My trick is just no refrigerating it. It has no side effects or anything, just makes it softer. (We go through butter quickly).
#7
You just gotta do it quickly. I find that if you try to do it really carefully you end up mutilating it more than if you did it roughly.
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#8
buttering thread you say?!
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#9
HAHAHAHA. Any money your one of those kids that had their mum (Sorry, mom for all you americans ) butter their bread until they hit high school. I think i used to mangle the bread as a youngster but i cant remember how i stopped.

Only things i can think of are that; Its harder to mangle fresh bread, the softer the butter is the easier it should be, and if you still can't do it then its time to swap over to margerine.
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#10
Whats worse is the consistancy varies, if the piece of bread does manage to survive, after one bite the bread is dry, however, further bites may result in a massive mouthfull of butter, i feel so inadequate.
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#11
"I can but there are a few holes"

How the fuck do you put holes in the bread from buttering?
#12
yarp, i had the same poblem here :P
basically, either just dont put butter in the fridge, or, do what i used to do and cut a chunk off, about as much as u need, and stick it in the microwave for like 4 seconds.
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#14
Quote by sam b
"I can but there are a few holes"

How the fuck do you put holes in the bread from buttering?



May i say that a knife is a vary sharp impliment, and bread can be very soft.
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#17
Quote by sam b
"I can but there are a few holes"

How the fuck do you put holes in the bread from buttering?

By useing clover

or anchor (so called) spreadable

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#19
Quote by Open fire
May i say that a knife is a vary sharp impliment, and bread can be very soft.

But you turn the knife on its side... You dont use the blade to sorta 'scrape' the butter on, do you?

Well, you probably do.. That's your problem
#21
Usually I do it properly but I mess it up a few times a week with holes and stuff.
#22
It depends on the butter, really. Some butter is as smooth as a baby's behind, some are like oprah's legs.
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#23
Dont put butter in the fridge, that makes it way past spreadable, even 'spreadable' butters dont spread from the fridge.
#24
Yeah I can just about do it with spreadable butter that's been left on the side for, like, 3 days. Apart from that Nah, just looks like someone's been screwing it.


#25
My buttering is beyond perfect, all you amateurs must bow. And that buttering is done with real butter, fresh from the fridge.
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#26
Quote by Kensai
It depends on the butter, really. Some butter is as smooth as a baby's behind, some are like oprah's legs.

That may be true, but it's a horrible, horrible image.
I don't think I'm going to use butter for a couple of days now.
#27
Quote by freddaahh
My buttering is beyond perfect, all you amateurs must bow. And that buttering is done with real butter, fresh from the fridge.



Now there no need to gloat
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#28
What the hell are you using to butter your bread, a hammer?

Take a standard butter knife, put a bit on the center instead of the end, and run it across in even strokes at the flattest possible angle.
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#30
heres a hint: cold butter on bread is like ****ting bricks- its not something you want to try.
#32
Quote by FlyingFuc!<
wow this is really sad.
it's all in the wrist.

i'll make a video of me buttering bread since i'm obviously superior to the TS.



Really because that would help!

Why don't we get numerous 'experts' to give the full low down on how you do it to help bread and butter retards such as myself

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Finally his girlfriend found out what it was like giving oral sex to fishsmelling genital organs.
#34
toast is one things... fresh bread is another...

if its toast i can make that **** art.... but if its fresh bread.. well the butter had better be smooth and warm..

i voted no
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#35
Problem is fools keeping BUTTER in the fridge. You keep it under one of those things at room temperature; easy as pie to spread.
#36
get the butter/margarine on the knife and if it's too firm, smoosh it (smoosh is a word because i say it is) against the side of the container a few times to loosen it up. then when spreading, make sure your motions go across the surface of the bread, not pushing downwards, just gliding over the top.
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#37
it depends on the butter.

with spread, yes, its easy. with a stick of butter, the difficulty rises. if it is soft its easy, but when the butter is cold, i cant do it to save my life.

there have been times that the only butter available to me was cold. i usually just decide on something else in that situation. its almost hopeless. if people would only learn not to refrigerate butter once its been opened.
Last edited by daytripper75 at Apr 10, 2008,
#39
why cant you just get normal butter and spread it?!??!

edit: well it is hot here so butter melts real fast so its always easy to spread butter...
#40
Quote by Spitz13
practice with mayonnaise.

haha

we should all make ridiculous "how to butter bread" tutorials.
with different difficulty levels and what not.

i think it'd be pretty funny.

am i alone on this one?
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