#1
Crit for crit (TheThingKills told me to say that, he said i'd be a noob other wise]

First things first
You know how I feel
It’s you who’s confused
And not sure what’s real

Next, you know the rest
We could’ve had it all
You could’ve held on like I did
But you let go, and watched it fall

Give me answers, give me a sign, give me something, give me anything
Because you know that I’m waiting

And you know I’ll wait
For you to come around
I’m not gonna give up on you just yet
And you know I’ll wait
But only for so long
‘Cause I’m not waiting forever

And maybe this is all
We were meant to be
Going nowhere and fast
You, ahead of me

Speeding down different roads
Getting further and further away
Arriving at different destinations
When it never had to be that way

Give me answers, give me a sign, give me something, give me anything
Because you know that I’m waiting

And you know I’ll wait
For you to come around
I’m not gonna give up on you just yet
And you know I’ll wait
But only for so long
‘Cause I’m not waiting forever

Now I’m here on my own and I’m trying my best
And it’s all down to you, and I’m scared, I confess
Cause I know in my heart what the answer will be
I’m just hoping you weren’t going to give up on me
Again...


please tell me this is the right place to post this
Yes, it's a very old username.
#2
Crit for crit (TheThingKills told me to say that, he said i'd be a noob other wise] Now they're going to hurt me

First things first
You know how I feel
It’s you who’s confused
And not sure what’s real

Very nice flowing start its good, it seems natural not forced like some rhymes

Next, you know the rest
We could’ve had it all
You could’ve held on like I did
But you let go, and watched it fall

Good again maybe instead replacing but, however it still flows well no major errors.

Give me answers, give me a sign, give me something, give me anything
Because you know that I’m waiting

You know this isn't really my topic of lyrics Hannah, but yeah its still keeping up with similar consistant quality. Maybe a bit worse than the first verse, but still good [="[/B"]

And you know I’ll wait
For you to come around
I’m not gonna give up on you just yet
And you know I’ll wait
But only for so long
‘Cause I’m not waiting forever

Still good, but something seems a bit asque, out of place. I don't know, flows but I had to read it twice to look through. Keep it going [="[/B"]

And maybe this is all
We were meant to be
Going nowhere and fast
You, ahead of me

This bit confuses me, mainly because I'm dumb, I know its showing the seperation but something doesn't quite click for me... Sorry. It's good, but my brain is **** lol.

Speeding down different roads
Getting further and further away
Arriving at different destinations
When it never had to be that way

Really like this verse, catchy just like the first, good use of rhyming, great flow and sounds natural not forced again

Give me answers, give me a sign, give me something, give me anything
Because you know that I’m waiting

And you know I’ll wait
For you to come around
I’m not gonna give up on you just yet
And you know I’ll wait
But only for so long
‘Cause I’m not waiting forever

Now I’m here on my own and I’m trying my best
And it’s all down to you, and I’m scared, I confess
Cause I know in my heart what the answer will be
I’m just hoping you weren’t going to give up on me
Again...

Great finishing verse, to a great piece!!! It would be even better if it wasn't about love, but hey I just find every other song's about love and it's like. Something more original please. lol But really good piece [="5 pirate points for you. Flows, rhymes and is catchy [= Hope to hear you playing it/actually singing it sometime. [/B"]

please tell me this is the right place to post this


Mwuahhaaaa
O Hai der.
#3
Quote by hannah.hearts92
Crit for crit (TheThingKills told me to say that, he said i'd be a noob other wise]


Hahaha. Thats really funny.

Noob.
#6
it is a bit cliché i guess, but it was just what i was feeling at the time, and i kind of write clichéd stuff, because, i guess, its what i feel.
Yes, it's a very old username.
#7
It's all good, I do the same thing lol. It was good though so it's no biggie. lol
#8
First things first
You know how I feel
It’s you who’s confused
And not sure what’s real
it rhymed but it seemed very stright to the point and simple.......not bad but not good either
Next, you know the rest
We could’ve had it all
You could’ve held on like I did
But you let go, and watched it fall
i would suggest changing that first line....i know you want to make everything rhyme but sometimes your better off puting something that doesnt rhyme instead of forcing something that does also haha if you still held on how did it fall
Give me answers, give me a sign, give me something, give me anything
Because you know that I’m waiting

And you know I’ll wait
For you to come around
I’m not gonna give up on you just yet
And you know I’ll wait
But only for so long
‘Cause I’m not waiting forever
that last line you could do without
And maybe this is all
We were meant to be
Going nowhere and fast
You, ahead of me
good
Speeding down different roads
Getting further and further away
Arriving at different destinations
When it never had to be that way
good
Give me answers, give me a sign, give me something, give me anything
Because you know that I’m waiting

And you know I’ll wait
For you to come around
I’m not gonna give up on you just yet
And you know I’ll wait
But only for so long
‘Cause I’m not waiting forever