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#1
Okay, so I've had my fair share of broken fingers and toes from things ranging from baseball games, to kicking rocks, but never anything really significant. I've been relatively careful. I look both ways before I cross the street and tie my shoes.

So anyway, on Wednesday the 26th of March I suffered my first semi-significant injury (although still nothing major.) I still ride the school bus home, because I don't have a parking pass at my school, but at least I have a couple friends that ride with me. Well, anyway as I was standing up to get off the bus, my friend attempted to kick me behind the leg (like the back of the shin) so my knee would buckle, and I would fall, and lulz would ensue. Unfortunately, he failed epically, and kicked me full force in the side of the knee, causing my knee cap to dislocate. I was wearing jeans, so at first I didn't know what happened, but I knew that walking felt weird as hell, and thats when my leg basically collapsed, and I sat back down. At this point, I could see my knee cap poking out of place through my pantal-materials, and knew it was dislocated. My reaction was the standard, "Oh ****. **** dude. Ow, ****." I told my busdriver that I dislocated my knee, and she thought I was pulling her leg (it was a substitute bus-driver, by the way) and kept driving. The bus kept bumping around and causing my leg to tweak some more, so I yelled at her to "STOP THE F***ING BUS, YOU F***ING C*NT," in which he did. Now, I usually never yell, and I'm always respectful to teachers and people doing things for me, but the combination of pain and her not believing me sort of sent me over the edge.

So, at this point she called the ambulance, and I called my mom who was at home that day. While I was sitting, I found a comfortable position for my leg to sit in, so the pain dropped from a 10/10 to around a 4/10, so it was bearable. Anyway, when the paramedics came, the only way for them to get me off the bus was to lower me backwards and headfirst out the emergancy side exit of the bus onto a stretcher. During this I was laughing at the obserdity of the situation, and my mom was video taping it and smiling.

So, on the ambulance I got morphine and got right into the hospital. They popped it back in, and after that it felt sooo much better. Anyway, the next day I got an MRI and went to the orthopaedic surgeon and he put me in a cast for 3 weeks. Luckily I don't think I need surgery.

All in all, I was pretty proud with how I handled the situation. I kept upbeat and didn't cry like a bitch. The "official" story I gave to the bus company was I slipped on a backpack and twisted my knee out, because otherwise my friend would have been suspended. Although I was a dick thing for him to do, I'm not mad at him, althought I sort of feel that I should be.

Unfortunately, two days ago I slipped comming out of the bathroom and my cast twisted on my leg and pulled my knee cap out again with it. I twisted it back into place, but I had to go get a new, bent cast to prevent it from slipping more.

SHORT VERSION: I dislocated my knee on the school bus.

Share your stories!
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I am buying you an e-beer HomerHitter *Buys*
#2
I just lit my propane grill with a paper towel after it just rained.

I no longer have eyebrows or eyelashes.
Schecter Loomis
LTD Horizon
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Quote by emagdnimasisiht
haha
This is the funniest thing i've ever read on UG.
lespaulrocks39, you sir are awesome.
#3
I broke my left arm below the shoulder playing human bumper cars. I had 6 girls on top of me. It would have been worth it if I wasn't only 7 at the time
#4
the locking mechinism for a gate went through my hand between the index and thumb, clean through. i also once crushed my foot in a hydraulic ram, if i had not been wearing workboots id have lost the foot.

i dont get hurt much, those are the worst
Acoustic Percussion Guitar Player
Quote by InvaderTSN
I can only poop during full moons.
#5
I cracked my head head open on the corner of our stone fireplace when I was seven. :/
It all makes sense
We're capable of beauty
Through sounds that make on cringe
The dogs only hear us now

#6
Once at a party, a friend of mine who was the most awkward person around girls finally copped off (hurrah!) She was to meet him in one of the bedrooms upstairs. He dashed over to my group of friends all excited and asked us for a few bedroom gymnasium tips.

"Well"; I began; "food in the bedroom is always a winner. Try something cool which when replaced with your mouth will be a very pleasant sensation (or so ive been told)"

He darts to the freezer and grabs a nice fruits of the forest Solero and dissapears upstairs.

Fifteen minutes later, we hear a scream emanating from upstairs. This was closely followed by a naked girl running downstairs, through the crowded room and into the downstairs loo. oh yeah, with a fruits of the forest Solero firmly attatched to her flange.

Seems that icy produce is quite adhesive on wet surfaces. Imagine the tongue on a metal pole during winter. This poor girl had confectionary bonded to her clitoris.
#8
Is it odd that I've never broken/dislocated anything in my life, despite the fact I constantly jump off of high things and go into horrendous pits?
Quote by Pinky&The Brain

Brain
Are you pondering what I'm pondering pinky?

Pinky
I think so, Brain, but where would we buy rubber pants at this hour?
#9
I crushed the tip of my Flip-off finger on my right hand when I was two or three. Mangled my finger a bit, chipped a bone, and bled like fucking hell. I forgot to mention it really, REALLY hurt... Imagine a Soccer goalie kicking you in the balls at full force.
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Quote by Anonden
You CAN play anything with anything....but some guitars sound right for some things, and not for others. Single coils sound retarded for metal, though those who are apeshit about harpsichord probably beg to differ.
#10
Quote by Kinks>Stones
Once at a party, a friend of mine who was the most awkward person around girls finally copped off (hurrah!) She was to meet him in one of the bedrooms upstairs. He dashed over to my group of friends all excited and asked us for a few bedroom gymnasium tips.

"Well"; I began; "food in the bedroom is always a winner. Try something cool which when replaced with your mouth will be a very pleasant sensation (or so ive been told)"

He darts to the freezer and grabs a nice fruits of the forest Solero and dissapears upstairs.

Fifteen minutes later, we hear a scream emanating from upstairs. This was closely followed by a naked girl running downstairs, through the crowded room and into the downstairs loo. oh yeah, with a fruits of the forest Solero firmly attatched to her flange.

Seems that icy produce is quite adhesive on wet surfaces. Imagine the tongue on a metal pole during winter. This poor girl had confectionary bonded to her clitoris.


#12
One time I took a hocky blade to the forehead. Lost roughly 2 pints of blood and a ton of stitches. Fun for me, cause all the chicks were really sypathetic!
Overall, im happy it happened!
-Andrew H
band: syncopated groove punch
#13
I pinched my balls when I fell down a spiral staircase.

I immediately stood up, jumped, and fell down the next staircase, which was actually a good thing, because my balls weren't the only thing that hurt then.
Schecter Loomis
LTD Horizon
Ibanez RGA121
Marshall DSL100
Peavey 5150

Quote by emagdnimasisiht
haha
This is the funniest thing i've ever read on UG.
lespaulrocks39, you sir are awesome.
#14
I was soo baked a few years ago I lit myself on fire (not EXACTLY my fault). I was wearing a t shirt like 3 sizes too big and sprayed axe all over it, then decided to make some eggs. I went to turn on the overhead stove fan and leaned a little too close to the flame on the stove, the next thing I know my shirt is slowly catching fire. At first im like "Whoa.. thats ****ing awesome", then the flames are in my face and at this point im running around the living room screaming "OH SH!T OH SH!T SH!T SH!T SH!T!!!" just burning up. I couldn't pull the shirt off cause my arms would have gotten burned, so I decided to just tear the damned thing off.

So I reached into the fire and tore the death trap that use to be my shirt, and stomped the fire out on the floor, leaving burn marks all over my moms new carpet we just got a few months prior. So after thinking about what I did and how im going to explain the burn marks I decided to just finish making my eggs, and leave the pan messy so she'd believe me that I accidently lit myself on fire when I made myself food instead of telling her I was blazed. So a few hours later after I finally got to sleep ( you ever try falling asleep with 1st degree burns?), I wake up to find her glaring at me looking intensely pist off, wanting to know what the hell happened to her floor.

Stop drop and roll doesn't work too well when you're high. You do more flopping around than rolling... good times tho :P

Still to this day I have no idea how either one of my parents didn't wake up when I starting screaming and falling on the floor. Who knows?
What the hell were you thinking?


i duno lol. tihs r liek wen i traid drawn maiself n teh t0ilit.

ROFL.

EPICPHAIL.

gess i cant dai.
#15
Quote by lespaulrocks39
I just lit my propane grill with a paper towel after it just rained.

I no longer have eyebrows or eyelashes.


LOL Pics Please!!!
#16
Well I didn't find it particularly horrific but I was in football back in 2002. My mom generally came to all my practices, but this one she couldn't I forget why. So she says "don't get hurt," because obviously I wouldn't now with here saying that. So we were playing this drill in which a ball carrier and a lineman would line up in separate lines, run separate routes, jump over their respective bag, and tackle/be tackled right there. The bags were like:

_
| |
___ |_|
|___|

So I jumped over the bottom one with the ball, and the tackler would jump the other one and nail me right there. So, we did this a while. It became my turn, and keep inmind this was perhaps a half hour before practice would have ended, and I ran to get tackled. Well, when the guy tackled me, I ****ed up my ankle. And I don't mean I twisted it, I ****ed up my ankle.

Remember that scene in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets when Harry doesn't have any bones in his arm, and they bend his hand backwards? That was my foot; my toes touched my shins without it moving in any wayother than straight into that position, no tweaking, just straight up.

Well, no one heard anything crack, but I couldn't walk, so my couch lifted my over his shoulder (I was, what, 10) and sits me on a stack of tires to watch until my mom got back. Let me assure you, I actually was in no pain at all. It only hurt when I put pressure on it. So, my mom gets back, then I hobble to the car. My dad is cheap as hell, so he's like "oh, it's not broken, don't worry about it."

We go to the doctors a couple days later or so, and lo and behold, I fractured the growth plate of mny left ankle flat down the middle, clean break. I get crutches, yadda yadda, and my cast is from just below my toes to a few inches past my kneecap in a bent, maybe 35-40 degree angle, my ankle as far up as you can bring it naturally.

The best part is that it was a friend of mine that did it, and he felt like **** in school about it. I told him not to worry, problem solved. This actually was the start of my many ankle injuries, since then I have only popped my ankle, i.e. it goes sideways, and I'm always running on it. The first other time was right ankle in tennis (PE), then again trying on cleats for baseball.

Oh, that one's good, it was after the first tryout of high school baseball, I decide I need new cleats, go to Sports Authority, try them on, then "test 'em out," ****ing up my ankle and making my mom think I was kidding. Another irony is that we were also buying ankle braces...

Other than that, nothing serious except my mom accidentally slamming my young, 4-6 year old fingers in the passenger side car door numerous times. Never broke 'em, though!
I was an Internet Witness in the mike.h Murder Case.
Quote by Pauldapro
this man is right. everything he says is right. so, stop killing people and get therapy ffs
#18
I was being rided by a fat chick... she raped me after this party when i was stoned and drunk, then i decided to use her city flat as free accommodation so kept on banging her.

Anyway she ended up ripping my foreskin off my penis ..like the little connecting bit. There was blood everywhere. She has the cheek to say i might have teh Aidz!
#19
Once, when I was like 6 or 7

I fell off my bunk bed (top, of course) and landed with each leg on seperate sides of a metal bar

needless to say, it hurt
Blindfolds aside I'd probably still close my eyes

And try to feel a trembling fetal life inside
that shotgun barrel that's about to make me bleed

Like an ulcer in the stomach of the beast


Quote by Aurex
your sarcasam amuses me


CSUSM
#20
A few weeks back i went paintballing with some friends and a mate of mine was running along and got hit in the knee on the side, this knocked him off balance and he tried to correct himself and it somehow came out of place, he could hardly walk after this and when we had the break in between games he told the marshall and sat on a bench, held it and asked the marshall to pull his leg, then he was fine after that besides having a slight limp.

When i was 7 or 8 i decided to jump from a chair onto a chin-ups bar, i lost my grip and landed on my leg, giving me a spiral fracture, i had to be in a cast for 6 weeks and had it off on christmas eve, my leg was skinny and hairy as ****.
WHOMP

Think of that next time you are not allowed to laugh.
#21
You bastard I just read your sig and spat out the coke that was in my mouth and now it is all over my keyboard
#22
when i was 12, my friend threw a javelin at me. it missed, but i was too busy running away, that i ran into the bastard thing, sticking out of the ground. luckily, this was the blunter end, and it only caused a big ass gash in my stomach, with a bruise under it. if it had been the pointy end, i was told by the doctors that it would have implaled me like a human kebab.
needless to say, my friend was incredibly cut up about this, cos he had only meant to **** me up a bit. were still buddies, but i never let him live it down.

"hey adam, remember when you stabbed me with that javelin..."

its so funny to watch him deny it.
#23
mate, i'm still recovering from a dislocated knee aswell! lol, i did it during badminton, must've been some kick ass move or something

Hurts like a bum
#25
Quote by HomerHitter


SHORT VERSION: I dislocated my knee on the school bus.

Share your stories!



Wimp, when I dislocated my knee I just grabbed it and popped it back into place. I had to get one of those removable casts for a few weeks though due to tearing alot of **** in it.

I also snapped my ankle several times, broke my fist, had a testicular torsion, had a tooth puncture through my lip and had my ear cut off. Not to mention the typical concusions and ****.
None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free.
#26
way to put the short version after all of that. lol jk
ive never had anything too signifigant
my toes been fu*ked up for a few weeks now and i still cant rly skateboard on it but yea..
#27
Quote by nebiru
Wimp, when I dislocated my knee I just grabbed it and popped it back into place. I had to get one of those removable casts for a few weeks though due to tearing alot of **** in it.

I also snapped my ankle several times, broke my fist, had a testicular torsion, had a tooth puncture through my lip and had my ear cut off. Not to mention the typical concusions and ****.

#28
The more horrific ones:
I cracked my head open on the corner of a coffee table when i was ickle.

I also slipped at the swimming baths and broke my jaw and gashed my chin.

Other injuries:

Broke my ankle playing football

F*cked my ankle ligaments up while walking down a corridor...Seriously - my ankle just sort of snapped as I was walking along.

Broke my wrist twice, both playing football.

And then several broken fingers and toes.
#29
Quote by nebiru
Wimp, when I dislocated my knee I just grabbed it and popped it back into place. I had to get one of those removable casts for a few weeks though due to tearing alot of **** in it.


I used to dislocate my knee all the time when I was younger, to the point it wouldn't even hurt that much anymore, and I had to put it back every time.

The worst time was probably in grade 8 when I was taking a Cooper's. I lost consciousness when it dislocated, saw stars and all that.
#30
I'm the queen of really, really dumb injuries.

-When I was 3 days old, I rolled off of a bed and hit my head really hard. There was a pretty high chance that I could have suffered brain damage but to my knowledge, that didn't happen.
-I broke my leg when I was 4, and had a cast up to my hip for 6 months.
-When I was 9, I ran into a lit firework. I now have an awesome dent on my forehead from that.
-When I was about 10 or so, I had an allergic reaction to a vaccine and started convulsing, I ended up hitting my head in the bathroom and getting a concussion.
-I broke my wrist on a scooter when I was 10.
-I broke my ankle when I was 11 tripping over a curb.
-I broke my wrist again when I was 12, and I had to get surgery to put it back in place. Two pins were put in my arm. I also had a weird reaction to the anesthesia and didn't wake up for 24 hours after the surgery.
-I broke my foot walking UP the stairs when I was 15.
-A few months ago, I fell down the stairs (with hardwood flooring) with a vacuum cleaner.

I've also broken several toes and fingers, which I don't keep track of.

We're all in the gutter, but I'm looking at the rats.
#31
when i was like ten, i was riding my bicycle down a really steep gravel road called devils glen...its in bettendorf iowa. at that time, i had a digital speedometer on my bike. my brother and i were racing, approaching 30 mph, when i hit a pothole and flipped over my handlebars...the bike landed on top of me somehow and i slid for about 15 feet face down...i went unconcious and when i woke up in the hospital my head was wrapped in gauze and i thought i might have just had brushburns on my face, but upon taking the gauze off i was missing 90% of the skin on my face. everyone tthought i was some kind of freak for a few weeks.
Quote by evening_crow
As far as i know the only liquor that should not be stored after opened is wine, and even then it's mainly the french one. American wine usually has conservatives in it to stop this.
#32
I forgot when I broke some ribs too. Breaking ribs really really sucks.
None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free.
#33
I stubbed my big toe yesterday....Hurt pretty bad.
8th member of Right-handed guitarists who are actually Left-handed group.

Quote by freedoms_stain
Although when it comes to quality Metallica take a big steaming turd on the Spice Girls faces (and you know the ginger one is loving it)...
#34
Quote by fattymcfatten
I stubbed my big toe yesterday....Hurt pretty bad.


One of my little toes that got broke (after I dropped a tin of soup on it ), sticks out quite a bit and I keep catching it on door frames and stuff... Argh!
#35
I've been able to avoid major injury pretty much my whole life. The only incident that is worth mentioning is when I was playing football, was knocked down on the ground, and woke up with people standing over me. I got knocked out for like 3 minutes or something. It hurt pretty bad when I woke up, I was quite disoriented and had the worst headache. But I got over it pretty quick.

Most of the injuries I've sustained were as a kid. We just didn't care. I always had either a giant scrape on my knee from a bike crash, or some hideous poison ivy rash, or cuts from random sharp objects. These days I actually care if I bleed lol.
We're only strays.
#36
circumcision gone wrong....

i also broke my arm in 3 places and tore my bicep muscle almost in half
#37
Quote by andyscoot
circumcision gone wrong....

i also broke my arm in 3 places and tore my bicep muscle almost in half


Wow...that circumcision went very wrong.
#38
Crashed my dirt bike over unused concrete piles and took out a mailbox with my legs...

I got bruised ribs that were pretty close to being fracture, and strained a muscle in back that cause it to spasm every 3-4 seconds for 2 days.
#39
Quote by andyscoot
circumcision gone wrong....

i also broke my arm in 3 places and tore my bicep muscle almost in half


I think you just won this thread.
8th member of Right-handed guitarists who are actually Left-handed group.

Quote by freedoms_stain
Although when it comes to quality Metallica take a big steaming turd on the Spice Girls faces (and you know the ginger one is loving it)...
#40
Quote by BigChief84
You bastard I just read your sig and spat out the coke that was in my mouth and now it is all over my keyboard

Who, me? If it is, then thanks, although i couldn't think of anything to put my sig at the time so i just made up a stupid joke/quote type of thing, glad to hear its funny though lol.
WHOMP

Think of that next time you are not allowed to laugh.
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