#1
(this was a note i was going to give to a girl in my chem class, but decided against it)

"Hurley"? Oh thank God! This entire time, I thought your hoody said "Hockey". (I probably should've been paying more attention to the lecture instead of staring at your chest, but either way, I was thinking about chemistry). Speaking of hockey, do you know what rhymes with puck? It was something to do with a little wetness and migrating south, if you catch my drift. Yeah baby, you know what I'm talking about. Duck. More specifically, rubber duckies. Did you ever think about why rubber ducks have no feet? It's because water is the number one solvent. So let this be a lesson to you. If you ver decide to jsut "jump in the water" and "experiment" in college, always wear protection. After all, you don't want to get some unexpected rash. But with the things we're gonna do, Trojans won't be enough protection. No, what we need are safety googles and fume hoods.
#3
Great way to manouevre away from your usual theme's, Joseph.

Barring a few typos you have in there this was a solid and humourous piece. I'm not even mad that there's very little real substance, because I would have loved to have recieved that from you.