#1
last night this skank and her friend comes up to me, while i was working at the bar.


"Hey my friend and i were dancing and she cut her foot on a piece of glass, and then she cut her finger getting the glass out of her foot, AND WE WANT A FREE DRINK OR WE WILL SUE YOU"

I giggled and her friend stood in silence wondering what to say, because i knew the ****en loser was a stooge rat.


So i said.


"Show me ya foot" - The bitch went blank faced because i was behind the bar and i couldnt see her foot, so she showed me her finger instead.


It was the SMALLEST pin prick of blood was there, she had to force this tiny bit of blood out of her finger to make it bleed. I laughed right in those skank hoes faces. They told me im a ****head and walked off. I looked at the chicks foot when they walked off and she was wearing hard heel medium-hi shoes, and her feet were fine, no blood no nothing wrong with her foot.


Question.


Where in peoples hearts do you become that person? and how.
#2
When mommy doesn't give enough breast milk?

Or aidz.

take your pick
#4
They ran out of money, they thought they could freak out some employee. Good for you for showing them up. People like that are useless.
I <3 bangoodcharlotte

Quote by humperdunk
one time i let my cat has cheezburger. i thought it was pretty funny.
#5
It has something to do with secret spontaneous insertions of penises into unsuspecting mouths.
Quote by 2 15/16
I'm hearing a steady *thump thump* from the people above me and I need some porno grooves to play on my bass to give them some background music. Any ideas?


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#7
You should have given them loads of free drinks until they would have passed out, then raped them, hence giving them your AIDS...

Seriously tho, some people are total cunts and expect anything, i work in a store and the aamount of bull**** people expect me to put up with is unbelievable.

Especially when people assume you are thick cos you work in a store and condescend me....... I'm like i'v got a science degree you thick ****, and im studying for a masters, so BACK the FUCK OFF! Arrrrgggh!

rant over/
Quote by Darth_Qurashi
Man it feels just like anal sex, I think; I'm still a virgin

Quote by nebiru
Goose is my Hero.

Quote by Xeus
Yeah, if you get the shag in before she's your legal sister the incest is over turned
#8
Quote by GooseMcShred
You should have given them loads of free drinks until they would have passed out, then raped them, hence giving them your AIDS...

Seriously tho, some people are total cunts and expect anything, i work in a store and the aamount of bull**** people expect me to put up with is unbelievable.

Especially when people assume you are thick cos you work in a store and condescend me....... I'm like i'v got a science degree you thick ****, and im studying for a masters, so BACK the FUCK OFF! Arrrrgggh!

rant over/



im like studying for graphic design degree, BACK DA ****... .... oh wait.
#9
we are still better than the rest of society!
Quote by Darth_Qurashi
Man it feels just like anal sex, I think; I'm still a virgin

Quote by nebiru
Goose is my Hero.

Quote by Xeus
Yeah, if you get the shag in before she's your legal sister the incest is over turned
#11
I'll tell you something worse.
I was in math the other day. This footy player named Matt sits next to me. I would prefer to sit alone, but he insists on forming a "bond".
Anyway. This slut sits behind us. She goes "Pssst...Matt!"
He leans back so she can whisper in his ear.
Note she still says this loud enough for me to hear; "Will you touch my vagina?"
She was being dead serious. I couldn't believe it. All I could do is facepalm and take a deeeeeep breath.
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t3gan? Coming to the UK?

*smooths mair and straightens shirt*

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t3gan and Bec > Tegan and Sara.
#12
hahah, wat a slag
Quote by Darth_Qurashi
Man it feels just like anal sex, I think; I'm still a virgin

Quote by nebiru
Goose is my Hero.

Quote by Xeus
Yeah, if you get the shag in before she's your legal sister the incest is over turned
#13
Quote by t3gan
I'll tell you something worse.
I was in math the other day. This footy player named Matt sits next to me. I would prefer to sit alone, but he insists on forming a "bond".
Anyway. This slut sits behind us. She goes "Pssst...Matt!"
He leans back so she can whisper in his ear.
Note she still says this loud enough for me to hear; "Will you touch my vagina?"
She was being dead serious. I couldn't believe it. All I could do is facepalm and take a deeeeeep breath.


Oh how I miss the stupidity of school. I deadset would have burst out laughing if I heard someone say that
Hurp De Durp
#14
Quote by t3gan
I'll tell you something worse.
I was in math the other day. This footy player named Matt sits next to me. I would prefer to sit alone, but he insists on forming a "bond".
Anyway. This slut sits behind us. She goes "Pssst...Matt!"
He leans back so she can whisper in his ear.
Note she still says this loud enough for me to hear; "Will you touch my vagina?"
She was being dead serious. I couldn't believe it. All I could do is facepalm and take a deeeeeep breath.


best part facepalm..

sigged.

I love you t3gan.
#16
Quote by t3gan
I'll tell you something worse.
I was in math the other day. This footy player named Matt sits next to me. I would prefer to sit alone, but he insists on forming a "bond".
Anyway. This slut sits behind us. She goes "Pssst...Matt!"
He leans back so she can whisper in his ear.
Note she still says this loud enough for me to hear; "Will you touch my vagina?"
She was being dead serious. I couldn't believe it. All I could do is facepalm and take a deeeeeep breath.


Awwww that's so sweet

What?!

That's possibly the funniest thing EVER!
Need Singing Advice?; Read the first page then ask questions.

Quote by punkman_123
Damn Auals, you're messed up. :P


Quote by ZanasCross
This just reminded me of the time that my brother in law texted his mom on the night after his wedding. All it said was "Consummated."
#18
Quote by grunger
best part facepalm..

sigged.

I love you t3gan.


How you plan on sigging that is beyond me.
Has the word "sigged" simply become a saying now?

Kids these days..

EDIT:
Re read it.. *facepalm for my own stupidity*
Hurp De Durp
Last edited by Symphonic_Chaos at Apr 11, 2008,
#19
Quote by Symphonic_Chaos
How you plan on sigging that is beyond me.
Has the word "sigged" simply become a saying now?

Kids these days..


guh, welcome to a standard UGers world.