#1
I've started this little song. I have no idea if it's any good or not I've never done this before and I'm not real confident about it but here's what I've got so far.
Fishing For Stars.

Passer's by would stop and stop and stare
he'd just sit there without a care
just patiently fishing for stars.

He'd sit there all day and night
sitting there no fear or fright.
just patiently fishing for stars.

Tell me if it's **** or throw me some tips or something if you can
cheers...
#2
Passer's by would stop and stop and stare


I don't think you need the extra 'stop' here but other than that it's good.
#3
Quote by deceiveroffools
I don't think you need the extra 'stop' here but other than that it's good.

haha I didn't even notice I did that. I'm a tad tired
#4
Considering its your first time this is pretty good

I really like the fishing for stars line

You might want to make your stanzas longer though and not rhymn every other line like that, that works fine for poetry but makes songs sound boring and childish


"he'd just sit there without a care
just patiently fishing for stars."

I also dislike the second just in these two lines it is not needed

You should definately work on the things i suggested and expand this its a good idea

Feel free to check out my song too, links in my sig