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#1
Alright, for a talent show I'm 'playing a song'. I'm actually going to just finger pick some G, D, and A chords while I read or recite something just to be stupid and piss people off.

Now, Pit, I was wondering. What should I read? Preferably something funny or boring as hell.

I got this inspiration from http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=9NmbljTGqCg .
All your base are belong to us.
All your base are belong to us.
All your base are belong to us.
All your base are belong to us.
#3
Yeah read some of the bible. Then say some of George Carlin's stuff to get people confused and the jesus-folk riled up.
#4
recite some demetri martin!
unless your intention is to bore the hell out of them, in which case go with maggot and recite scripture!
If man is 5, if man is 5, if man is 5,
then the Devil is 6, then the Devil is 6, then the Devil is 6, the Devil is 6,
And if the Devil is 6,

then God is 7, then God is 7, then God is 7
This monkey's gone to heaven.
#6
The Canterbury Tales prologue with proper Middle-English pronunciation.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QE0MtENfOMU
O O O O O O O O O O
O O O O O O O O O O
O O O O O O O O O O
O O O O O O O O O O
O O O O O O O O O O
O O O O O O O O O O
O O O O O O O O O O
O O O O O O O O O O
O O O O O O O O O O
O O O O O O O O O O
O O O O O O O O O O
#8
haha the bible, that'd be frigging hilarious.
Quote by 20cdndollars
You are god, floppypick



Floppydick


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#9
speak the lyrics to Its The End Of The World As We Know It by REM

or quote a bunch of Old Greg
Top 15:
Neutral Milk Hotel
Smashing Pumpkins
Placebo
Elliott Smith
Devendra Banhart
Pavement
Anberlin
Eve 6
The Clash
Imogen Heap
Ingrid Michaelson
Bayside
Minus The Bear
The Replacements
Bright Eyes/Conor Oberst
#10
The United States Constitution.. or the Declaration of Independence for a long and major bore
Holden Caulfield is a friend of mine.
We go drinking from time to time.
#13
Tell the story of Old Gregg.

It's sure to bring some laughs, and it's the most enthralling story of the 21s Century.

"That's a vagina! I got a mangina! I'm Ooooooolllld Grrreeeeeeeeeggg!!!!"
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Saxo-Walrus

Steam & PSN ID: Panopticon20
#14
You know what would be even more boring than the bible? Cookbook recipes. Direct with your hands when you aren't playing and get the audience to copy.
#15
Read a sonnet. Do it with an exaggerated accent.
Quote by Jackal58
Nothing is stranger than being anonymous.
#19
Quote by kikaykitko
I..uh..that was....


I just knew it when I saw you posted - The bait was swallowed
#20
Quote by aaron6890
these are sames and opposites my friends, that i......deter....mend.

If man is 5, if man is 5, if man is 5,
then the Devil is 6, then the Devil is 6, then the Devil is 6, the Devil is 6,
And if the Devil is 6,

then God is 7, then God is 7, then God is 7
This monkey's gone to heaven.
#21
Quote by Våd Hamster


There are both things known and unknown, in between, is dolphin sex.
O O O O O O O O O O
O O O O O O O O O O
O O O O O O O O O O
O O O O O O O O O O
O O O O O O O O O O
O O O O O O O O O O
O O O O O O O O O O
O O O O O O O O O O
O O O O O O O O O O
O O O O O O O O O O
O O O O O O O O O O
#22
Play an acoustic cover of "Bitches aint ****"

worked for ben folds ....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q3C4N6p78io
My Musical attempts

My youtube music channel

Quote by TOMMYB22
Dammit, beaten to it, and by someone with the same name

CURSE YOU TOMMYT!!!!!!!!!!!!


Quote by daeqwon10000
I hate tommyt and the high horse which he rides upon
Last edited by tommyt at Apr 12, 2008,
#25
Quote by SOADisdabest
Is there something wrong with me if I read that whole thing?


Did you get an erection too? >_>
#26
The Pit has once again proven its genius with these suggestions. Keep them coming.
All your base are belong to us.
All your base are belong to us.
All your base are belong to us.
All your base are belong to us.
#30
babble endlessly in a different language.

This is Larry The If you click him, he will give you magic powers.
srsly.


If you are not willing to die for the perfect s'more, Then you don't deserve a s'more at all.
#33
Quote by Flying Couch
Oh hell no, I'm not reading that again.

It's a little more than you specified, but you could explain to them why Canon in D sucks.

I didn't even watch the video, because I know the exact one you're talking about.

haha

THAT is the most perfect idea ever.

EVER.
Voted 3rd Friendliest User of UG 2010

BUILD A TIME MACHINE, AND JERK OFF IN IT, AND SEND IT TO HITLER!


Saxo-Walrus

Steam & PSN ID: Panopticon20
#34
Quote by theking182
recite some demetri martin!
unless your intention is to bore the hell out of them, in which case go with maggot and recite scripture!

this man read my mind. demetri martin is the man. and theking182 is up there with demetri
#36
Quote by The_Paranoia
Cannibal Corpse lyrics?

Better yet.

Necro lyrics


10x worse/funnier than Cannibal Corpse.
Voted 3rd Friendliest User of UG 2010

BUILD A TIME MACHINE, AND JERK OFF IN IT, AND SEND IT TO HITLER!


Saxo-Walrus

Steam & PSN ID: Panopticon20
#40
Quote by dudius
read some of the crap from The Pit!!!!!!!!
God yes.

"Ts wrote: I'm grounded, what shall I do?"
"Tman26 wrote: Fap"
"Guitargod78 wrote: Fap" , etc...

Maybe I'm the only one who would find that funny....
Quote by Teh Forest King
A kid took a fetal pig during pig dissection, put a napkin on it as a cape, wrote "super pig" on it, then threw it out the window onto the greenhouse below, yelling "super pig, blast off!". He failed the pig lab
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