#1
Tomorrow I have a long car ride with my grandparents, and I've noticed sometimes they tune people out when they talk.

So what I'd like from all of you is suggestions of funny things to say when I think they're not listening.

So far I have:
  • You know, when I was seven years old, I was probed by aliens.
  • My parents are swingers.
  • I hid a hot dog somewhere in your house the last time I visited.


Fire away, folks!
Quote by shattamakar
The only advantage of home-schooling is that it gives you good reason to commit suicide.


Hit this once or twice, and you'll be twice as nice.
#4
"I ****ed a goat last night."
Quote by Diet_coke_head
I love taking a nice dip of some horse shit, so good.
#5
So, does that Viagra still keep things going for you?

Is it weird that my Penis and Vagina keep touching each other? I can't keep them apart.

So what you do want...A Cleavland Steamer?
When you saw me sleeping
thought I was dreaming
of you...


I didn't tell you
That the only dream
Is Valium for me
#7
Quote by Td_Nights
So, does that Viagra still keep things going for you?

Is it weird that my Penis and Vagina keep touching each other? I can't keep them apart.
So what you do want...A Cleavland Steamer?

FAMILY GUY REFERENCE
#8
3 words - suck my balls.
I've got something in my front pocket for you.
Why don't you reach down in my pocket and see what it is?
Then grab onto it, it's just for you.
Give a little squeeze and say: "How do you do?"
#9
These are great guys!
Quote by shattamakar
The only advantage of home-schooling is that it gives you good reason to commit suicide.


Hit this once or twice, and you'll be twice as nice.
#12
daddy touches me, did you touch him grandpa?
I've got something in my front pocket for you.
Why don't you reach down in my pocket and see what it is?
Then grab onto it, it's just for you.
Give a little squeeze and say: "How do you do?"
#15
You could say:

- "Hey, Did you know I'm Gay?"

- "Hey, do you mind if I jerk off to porn back here?

I'll think of more later, I'm not in my really funny mood atm
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i tune to drop-Z and string my guitar with barbed wire.

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#17
"Is it ok for vegetarians to swallow? I mean, they aren't exactly eating meat...but then again they kind of are. What do you think granny?"
#18
Tell them you're commiting suicide because they never listen to you.
Gear as 2015:
Ibanez PGM401
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#20
"ya got any pr0n?"

This is Larry The If you click him, he will give you magic powers.
srsly.


If you are not willing to die for the perfect s'more, Then you don't deserve a s'more at all.
#21
you guys mind if i light up?
hey when was the last time you guys did the bang bang?
i have these warts on my penis...
is it normal to wake up in the morning with an erection
hey granny how far do your boobs sag down to without a bra?
so pop.every beat off to john wayne? i enjoy it
#22
Thanks for all the suggestions, fellas. I'll check again in the morning.
Quote by shattamakar
The only advantage of home-schooling is that it gives you good reason to commit suicide.


Hit this once or twice, and you'll be twice as nice.
#24
Alot of these are hilarious ways to mess with ones grandparents..but many aren't viable...I am going to suggest one that is a bit risque..but still can be executed...mind you with some skills.

Buy a 2 dollar mouse at a pet shop.

Release it in the car near your grandmothers feet.

Let hilarity ensue.
#25
Well, I leave in a few hours, gotta remember all of these!
Quote by shattamakar
The only advantage of home-schooling is that it gives you good reason to commit suicide.


Hit this once or twice, and you'll be twice as nice.
#26
"i think i broke my penis..."

"so well,i've got AIDs..."

"why is my pants so tight,grandpa?"

"whats cum grandpa?"
#27
"Have any condoms i could borrow?"

This is Larry The If you click him, he will give you magic powers.
srsly.


If you are not willing to die for the perfect s'more, Then you don't deserve a s'more at all.
#30
Quote by tpot06
daddy touches me, did you touch him grandpa?


Ouch, Low Blow!
#34
Quote by Feischti
do u liek mudkipz???


by simple observation we can confirm that the letters UG are not equal to the letter b with or without /'s on either side.
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