#1
take me back to a moment.

that footprint in the sand.
that crest of the wave.
the movement of our hands.
before they pushed us away.

take me back to a story.
the one where you told me
about ships in the night,
how intimately and silently they brush
and end it there and then.

take me back into the ambiguous innocence of thoughts and fantasies,
draw me in with a beautiful bewildering blur,
a scintillant sight of angular and never absolute,
where each and every shade of color stands together,
and pierces with their aesthetic joy
into my eagerly shifting eyes.

take me!
take me forward!
into the,
brightest world,
inside the white,
of each and every,
flawless pearl,
or!
i only exist
where you do not
i only see
what you do not
i only touch
who you do not
i only feel, You do not.

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Crit for crit?
Thanks !
#2
This piece started off well but i didn't like the last stanza, it didn't flow that well. The first three were amazing, but it was let down by the last one.