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#1
This might possibly have been posted before, because it is an old story. But still, amazing regardless.


In order to qualify for a Darwin Award, a person must remove himself from the gene pool via an "astounding misapplication of judgment."
-http://www.darwinawards.com/


At the 1994 annual awards dinner given for Forensic Science, AAFS, President Dr. Don Harper Mills astounded his audience with the legal complications of a bizarre death. Here is the story:

On March 23,1994 the medical examiner viewed the body of Ronald Opus and concluded that he died from a shotgun wound to the head. Mr. Opus had jumped from the top of a ten story building intending to commit suicide. He left a note to that effect, indicating his despondency. As he fell past the ninth floor his life was interrupted by a shotgun blast passing through a window which killed him instantly.

Neither the shooter nor the descender was aware that a safety net had been installed just below at the eighth floor level to protect some building workers and that Ronald Opus would not have been able to complete his suicide the way he had planned.

"Ordinarily," Dr. Mills continued, "a person who sets out to commit suicide and ultimately succeeds, even though the mechanism might not be what he intended, is still defined as committing suicide."

That Mr. Opus was shot on the way to certain death, but probably would not have been successful because of the safety net, caused the medical examiner to feel that he had a homicide on his hands. The room on the ninth floor, whence the shotgun blast emanated, was occupied by an elderly man and his wife. They were arguing vigorously and he was threatening her with a shotgun. The man was so upset that when he pulled the trigger he completely missed his wife and the pellets went through the window, striking Mr. Opus.

When one intends to kill subject A but kills subject B in the attempt, one is guilty of the murder of subject B. When confronted with the murder charge the old man and his wife were both adamant. They both said they thought the shotgun was unloaded. The old man said it was his long-standing habit to threaten his wife with the unloaded shotgun. He had no intention to murder her. Therefore the killing of Mr. Opus appeared to be an accident; that is, the gun had been accidentally loaded.

The continuing investigation turned up a witness who saw the old couple's son loading the shotgun about six weeks prior to the fatal accident. It transpired that the old lady had cut off her son's financial support and the son, knowing the propensity of his father to use the shotgun threateningly, loaded the gun with the expectation that his father would shoot his mother. The case now becomes one of murder on the part of the son for the death of Ronald Opus.

Now comes the exquisite twist. Further investigation revealed that the son was, in fact, Ronald Opus. He had become increasingly despondent over the failure of his attempt to engineer his mother's murder. This led him to jump off the ten story building on March 23rd, only to be killed by a shotgun blast passing through the ninth story window. The son had actually murdered himself so the medical examiner closed the case as a suicide.
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#5
Darwin Awards are quite possibly some of the funniest books ever produced. I like the one with the zookeeper who died from getting shat on by an elephant. I think that's how it went at least....
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#6
I have three of the books
EDIT : That being said, the JATO one is pretty epic.
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#10

wow... absolutely hilarious.
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#11
I saw that in an Uncle John's Bathroom Reader.
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#12
thats too poetic man...
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#13
Quote by sashki
Darwin is dead, and therefore only laughing figuratively.

An odd turn of events, I must say.


I know.
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She pulled off his left testicle and tried to swallow it, before spitting it out. A friend handed it back to Mr Jones saying "That's yours"

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Return to a Condition of Being...<-Band. Add plz!
#15
Quote by sashki
So do I.


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She pulled off his left testicle and tried to swallow it, before spitting it out. A friend handed it back to Mr Jones saying "That's yours"

Wii Is For Queers! Co-Founder Of The "We Hate Wii" Club
Return to a Condition of Being...<-Band. Add plz!
#17
Quote by stratman_13
Darwin Awards are quite possibly some of the funniest books ever produced. I like the one with the zookeeper who died from getting shat on by an elephant. I think that's how it went at least....


Yea, that was one of the funniest. There was another that a dude pissed on an electrical fence and... well... you know what follows with these awards.
#18
another Darwin award wen't to a man who tide huge balloons of helium to a chair (for some reason) fell asleep went up like a mile or 2 or someting into the air, froze to death.
#21
Quote by PaperStSoapCo
The old man said it was his long-standing habit to threaten his wife with the unloaded shotgun.

haha
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#22
That's impossible.
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#23
Wow. Very strange. A really nice example of where truth can be stranger than fiction. A short film of that story would just be awesome.
#26
Thank you for being the fifteenth person to post this exact thing in the past two months.
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#28
Is this a true story? I've never heard of Darwin awards so I'm unaware of them being fiction or non-fiction stories. Either way that is ****ing epic.
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#29
Quote by kyle100
Is this a true story? I've never heard of Darwin awards so I'm unaware of them being fiction or non-fiction stories. Either way that is ****ing epic.


These stories and true and are confirmed. They are published books with collections of these types of funny deaths, and Wendy Northcutt is credited as the author of these books.
#33


I remember that. Totally epic.
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#34
Feel free to post your favorite story of Darwinism here.

Like I said, In order to qualify for a Darwin Award, a person must remove himself from the gene pool via an "astounding misapplication of judgment."

Here are the rules: http://www.darwinawards.com/rules/

So, either take a story from the site OR a story you read or heard elsewhere.


And yes, I am bored.
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She pulled off his left testicle and tried to swallow it, before spitting it out. A friend handed it back to Mr Jones saying "That's yours"

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#35
Quote by soundgarden1986
Yeah. Magnolia I believe.

Yes, at the beginning. That's my favorite movie. That's what made this so odd, because I just watched the movie yesterday.
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#36
From darwinawards.com:

(February 1998) Matthew and his friends were sliding down a Mammoth Mountain ski run on a foam pad at 3am, when he crashed into a lift tower and died. His makeshift sledge of yellow foam had been stolen from the legs of a lift tower on Stump Alley. The cushion is meant to protect skiers who hit the tower, and the tower Matthew ran into was the one from which he had created his sledge. There's a moral in there somewhere.
#37
This inspired my new band name: DLAYER!

Darwin Laughs As You Eternally Rot!
#38
my favorite darwin award is that guy that wanted to play russian roulette. he couldn't find a revolver, so he took a pistol. he was the 1st to play, guess what happened? :p

another good one is a guy that wanted to know how a hand grenade works. he took his hammer and hit it untill it opened ^^

another.... well i'll stop now, there are too many on them :p
#39
More stories! That was screwed up.
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#40
Quote by Djaydjay
my favorite darwin award is that guy that wanted to play russian roulette. he couldn't find a revolver, so he took a pistol. he was the 1st to play, guess what happened? :p

another good one is a guy that wanted to know how a hand grenade works. he took his hammer and hit it untill it opened ^^

another.... well i'll stop now, there are too many on them :p


...And they are all amazing!
Quote by Article
She pulled off his left testicle and tried to swallow it, before spitting it out. A friend handed it back to Mr Jones saying "That's yours"

Wii Is For Queers! Co-Founder Of The "We Hate Wii" Club
Return to a Condition of Being...<-Band. Add plz!
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