#1
No one paid attention to what I wrote
So what was the point
The medium would change
Never the response
Pen and paper, something less tangible
Never made a difference
But this, this is my masterpiece
An ode to those whom never showed
Appreciation for my genius
Only now, reflecting on the decision
I realize I never signed my name
Someone could steal it
Mark it as their own
If only my feet were still on the floor
And this rope not so tight
God came to me the other day, and he asked whether or not we had any Crisco. I didn't quite know what to say to that.
#2
a tad pretentious are we?

also, not to be a dick or anything, but the last two lines make no sense whatsoever to this piece.
#3
Quote by ottoavist
a tad pretentious are we?

also, not to be a dick or anything, but the last two lines make no sense whatsoever to this piece.


the last two lines make perfect sense, he is hanging him self.
#4
In the 8th line, you need "who" not "whom".

I don't have much more to contribute, sorry.
and this moment keeps on movin'
we were never meant to hold on.
#6
The point of this was to be a piece of sh*t because I never get a response for anything I think is good. So, I find it ironic that this is getting any sort of acknowledgment. Thanks, guys, you're awesome. Don't choke on the sarcasm.
God came to me the other day, and he asked whether or not we had any Crisco. I didn't quite know what to say to that.
#7
I posted a load of lyrics dude, and i got no answers, ..then i posted some more.

then i got a few responses...if you actually read the rules you might get somewhere.

I wasnt criting anyone elses work properly, and in return i didnt get any good crit to help me.

Take sometimes to help others first, then in return this forum might help you !

IM AWESOME !...YAY
#8
Quote by CzwtheMerph
Don't choke on the sarcasm.


Don't get on the wrong side of people who might actually review your future works, and don't choke on the common sense.

Otherwise, I thought it was a decent piece, a little muddled but i liked the irony of it all.
Too much gain = Ears in pain