#1
I know it is a bit cliche, but I thought I would try a new rhyming scheme that I thought went well. Kind of think of it as an indie song, maybe Raconteur/White stripesish. Enjoy! Crit for crit.

I see you snicker, while we bicker, so what's the point?
You won't be grievin, when i'm leavin, don't mean to dissapoint.
It's not like you care, see it in your stare, leave me alone.
Don't tell a lie, fake a cry, you'll just get a groan.

Go away, don't wanna play, keep it to yourself.
I'll leave a note, next to the coat, laying on the shelf.
Rest your head, go to bed, I'll leave you right now.
Walk out the door, while you snore, don't worry how.

I've given you a chance before, but you blew it.
I've given you romance before, thought you knew it.

Now I'm leaving, I'm gone forever more,
You didn't even try to stick your foot into the door.
Now I'm leaving, gotta go from this place.
In due time, i'll forget your face.

You say "Stop, I'll call a cop", I say "Go right ahead."
I really tried, you never cried, now you're good as dead.
You want my money, don't lie honey, you don't like me.
You want stuff, I've had enough, well now you're free.

You're still yellin, in your dwellin, as I slam the door.
I know you're mad, I'm not sad, this has happened before.
I won't be back, I've got a pack, and nothing to do.
Hit the gas, goin fast, get away from you!

I've given you a chance before, but you blew it.
I've given you romance before, thought you knew it.

Now I'm leaving, I'm gone forever more,
You didn't even try to stick your foot into the door.
Now I'm leaving, gotta go from this place.
In due time, i'll forget your face.

Stay away from me, Woah oh oh
Stay away from me, Woah oh oh
Don't you ever come back to me, Woah oh oh
Stay away from me, Woah oh oh

Woah oh oh! oh! oh! Woah oh oh! oh! oh!
Woah oh oh! oh! oh! Woah oh oh! oh! oh oh oh oh oh!
#2
i think it would go good with a white stripes type song.
but other than that, the lyrics are a bit cheesy

not that thats a bad thing
just turn on the radio and theres tons of cheesy lyrics.
#4
Quote by fender351
i think it would go good with a white stripes type song.
but other than that, the lyrics are a bit cheesy

not that thats a bad thing
just turn on the radio and theres tons of cheesy lyrics.


I gotcha, thanks.