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#1
First off, my girlfriend (who will henceforth be known as Allie) is the sweetest, nicest, funniest, happiest girl you will ever meet. She can be a little crazy and freak out sometimes, but she's still great. I love her and we've been going out for three months, but I've known her for nine. I can see us together for a long time (we're both 15 ). Also, she says she doesn't do drugs or drink or anything like that, but her mom can be a little over-protective sometimes.

But tonight, I was talking to my best friend (who will henceforth be refered to as Toon) who talked to his girlfriend (who will henceforth be refered to as Cydney) earlier who used to be good friends with my girlfriend. Toon told me that Cydney told him that Allie, back in 6th and 7th grade, used to cut herself. I was shocked. I called my black friend ( ) Michael who also went to middle school with Allie to verify this information. Michael said that Allie had some emotional rough patches and he knew about the cutting. He also said that Allie sometimes hinted that she did drugs. The kicker is how Allie's mom found out: She went snooping around Allie's room and found drugs and got pictures of them (of which I haven't seen...).

As the story goes, when Allie met her current best friend Rachel, everything started getting better and we got the Allie we know and love today.

So UG, how do I go about dealing with this? I figure I should just let the past be the past and be glad I have such a wonderful girl in my life. But I'm still afraid that I'll bring something up when we're talking, because I want to know what would cause her to do something like that. I just don't like being lied to...

Also share any experiences you have maybe had with discovering good friends' past lives...
If man is 5, if man is 5, if man is 5,
then the Devil is 6, then the Devil is 6, then the Devil is 6, the Devil is 6,
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#3
has that come up, and she said she never did, and never did drugs.
if not she didnt lie

anyways, id let it lay. shes different now i suppose
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#4
Just let it lie, let it die. If you love her, and i mean REALLY love her (or like) you shouldn't care either way. past or present.

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#5
The past is the past. If it's a rough time she isnt comfortable talking about, dont make her. She will when she's ready. The onyl thing you have to worry about now is that she's better.
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#6
....pics?


It was bound to happen.
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#8
All I got out of that was that you're too much of a racist to give an alias to your black friend.
#12
Quote by TooFast
....pics?


It was bound to happen.

If man is 5, if man is 5, if man is 5,
then the Devil is 6, then the Devil is 6, then the Devil is 6, the Devil is 6,
And if the Devil is 6,

then God is 7, then God is 7, then God is 7
This monkey's gone to heaven.
#13
You've been dating for three months, and you're 15. I think this is a bit too heavy for you to start tinkering with the issue. Let it be, as long as she doesn't show any other destructive behavior. Besides in 6th and 7th grade, she was a kid. It was probably confusion and experimentation more than genuine psychological trauma.
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#14
dont bring it up....!

if it comes up in a convorsation, roll with it

and make her feel better, tell her that it was the past and that things are wayy better now

and over all, telll her you love her
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#15
whats the problem exactly? she wasnt a 12 year old pork sword fiend so don't worry about it.


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#17
my girlfriend also used to cut when she was younger. It's in the past, and she's never going back, so I don't bother to bring it up. If she was doing it while you two were going out, I'd be talking to her about it if I were you, but in this case it's best just to let her tell you about it when she feels comfortable.
#18
i would say it was none of your business, what would you prefer a police records check before going out with someone. it has no effect on your individual life. I have lived with my girlfriend for 5 years and i wouldnt be saying anything in this situation.
#19
This happened to me once, but for some reason she blamed it all on me :-/

(It wasn't my fault, she had some serious emotional problems I didn't know about)

Needless to say I broke up with her since I didn't want to be with someone who cut themselves and blamed it on me. With your situations I would probably say just leave it alone. She'll either talk to you about it when she's ready, or never at all if she doesn't want you to look at her differently or treat her like she's psycho.

And yea, you're racist, black men are never called Michael
#20
I don't think she's lying to you. You said that she said this: "I don't do drugs". That refers to the present, and not the future. About the cutting, well she just didn't tell you. there are things about her that you probably don't know yet, and thats normal. You've only been dating her for about 3 months. I've been with my girlfriend for 9 months, and there are still things we don't talk about much. I know people who have cut themselves. I would not bring it up. Because some people will be fine talking about it, but for others it can cause traumatizing memories to re-appear. If she's generally happy and there are no signs of cutting or drug use, then you should be fine. But remember 3 months isn't that long, there probably are things that she hasn't told you yet and thats normal. You're not supposed to tell your significant other everything about your life in that amount of time. If she feels the need, she'll bring it up. And besides, do you have the right to be snooping around, behind her back talking about her?? I'm not saying you're a bad boyfriend. But even if her friends told you this, you really don't have the right to be asking other people about it. =/

If she hasn't told you, she obviously doesn't want you to know, or she isn't ready to tell you. Give it time, and if she doesn't tell you thats her deal.
#22
I dont see the problem here either

She didn't lie to you, because she said she "doesnt", not "didnt" do drugs. And plus, she got past cutting, and why the hell would somebody want to bring up something like that, especially when they haven't been provoked to bring it up?

I'm sure she just experimented with drugs. That's how I got into smoking weed, not that I'd ever really get into anything else. But it's not something that you should get in a huff about. Leave it be .
#23
this usually doesnt work in most situations but i think you should just let it be. The past is the past. But on the other hand keep an eye out if she is showing signs of emotional pains in the future then at least you will know that you will have to comfort her.
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#24
**** her in her cutting wounds...

>.>
<.<
>.>
There ain't no moral to this story at all. Anything I tell you very well could be a lie.
#25
Quote by Ubercheemu
I don't think she's lying to you. You said that she said this: "I don't do drugs". That refers to the present, and not the future. About the cutting, well she just didn't tell you. there are things about her that you probably don't know yet, and thats normal. You've only been dating her for about 3 months. I've been with my girlfriend for 9 months, and there are still things we don't talk about much. I know people who have cut themselves. I would not bring it up. Because some people will be fine talking about it, but for others it can cause traumatizing memories to re-appear. If she's generally happy and there are no signs of cutting or drug use, then you should be fine. But remember 3 months isn't that long, there probably are things that she hasn't told you yet and thats normal. You're not supposed to tell your significant other everything about your life in that amount of time. If she feels the need, she'll bring it up. And besides, do you have the right to be snooping around, behind her back talking about her?? I'm not saying you're a bad boyfriend. But even if her friends told you this, you really don't have the right to be asking other people about it. =/

If she hasn't told you, she obviously doesn't want you to know, or she isn't ready to tell you. Give it time, and if she doesn't tell you thats her deal.


After reading the original post, ^ this ^ is what basically came to mind.
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#26
holy cow. 90% of the posts in this thread are sensitive, reasonable responses that give actual advice. Is this still the Pit or did I accidentally go to another forum?
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#27
Quote by theking182
used to cut herself.


Lol.

Quote by theking182
I was shocked. I called my black friend Michael


Why is it that you have to point out someones race, specifically?


Anyways, you should probably get rid of her seeing that she is 15 and already has "emotional problems". I might have sympathy if she had an abusive child hood, and didn't live in a nice suburban neighborhood (i am assuming that she does).

For christ sake, this isn't a tv show, this isn't laguna beach.
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#28
Quote by ebbbaaa
**** her in her cutting wounds...

>.>
<.<
>.>



act your age not your shoesize.


no problem case closed.
#29
Leave it alone, if she has never brought it up, then she probably doesn't want to talk about it. It happened in the past, leave it in the past.
#32
I also agree with some of the people on here, why is it important to specify that Michael is black??...
#33
Quote by ir0n_ma1den
Lol.


Why is it that you have to point out someones race, specifically?


Anyways, you should probably get rid of her seeing that she is 15 and already has "emotional problems". I might have sympathy if she had an abusive child hood, and didn't live in a nice suburban neighborhood (i am assuming that she does).

For christ sake, this isn't a tv show, this isn't laguna beach.


Don't listen to this guy, TS. Just because you have what should be a nice child hood doesn't mean you don't get emotional problems. It's just something natural that can't be cured by just looking at people in third world countries. Wasn't there a thread recently dealing with depression? I remember Reva had some good input but don't remember exactly what it was...

Anyways, while you may never know, it seems like your girlfriend has put everything in the past and moved on. Just be there for her. If she wants to talk, she'll talk. Don't prod for information and don't talk behind her back. If you wanna know her history so bad talk directly to her (which, as stated before, is not recommended). Just let things happen naturally I guess.
Quote by PaperStSoapCo
Vagina's tend to be not all that great looking most of the time. It's all... flappy. Looks sloppy.

I'd have to say guy junk wins but not by much. It's like winning a beauty contest against Steve Buscemi.
#35
My black friend...


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#36
My girlfriend has been raped twice, abused, and been to jail for defending herself. It could be worse, it's the things that people have gone through that make them the person that they are now, especially with someone you love.
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#37
this is goddamn weird
i just broke up with a girl named allie who used to cut herself
O.o

Lets have a sexy partay!


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#38
Quote by barb3rman
Don't listen to this guy, TS. Just because you have what should be a nice child hood doesn't mean you don't get emotional problems.


wrong. You must listen to me.
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#39
Anyway, its really not that big of a deal if its in the past. As long as she's over it, you shouldn't overreact. Just tell her you know and to be truthful to you about it.
O.o

Lets have a sexy partay!


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#40
Quote by theking182
First off, my girlfriend (who will henceforth be known as Allie) is the sweetest, nicest, funniest, happiest girl you will ever meet. She can be a little crazy and freak out sometimes, but she's still great. I love her and we've been going out for three months, but I've known her for nine. I can see us together for a long time (we're both 15 ). Also, she says she doesn't do drugs or drink or anything like that, but her mom can be a little over-protective sometimes.

But tonight, I was talking to my best friend (who will henceforth be refered to as Toon) who talked to his girlfriend (who will henceforth be refered to as Cydney) earlier who used to be good friends with my girlfriend. Toon told me that Cydney told him that Allie, back in 6th and 7th grade, used to cut herself. I was shocked. I called my black friend ( ) Michael who also went to middle school with Allie to verify this information. Michael said that Allie had some emotional rough patches and he knew about the cutting. He also said that Allie sometimes hinted that she did drugs. The kicker is how Allie's mom found out: She went snooping around Allie's room and found drugs and got pictures of them (of which I haven't seen...).

As the story goes, when Allie met her current best friend Rachel, everything started getting better and we got the Allie we know and love today.

So UG, how do I go about dealing with this? I figure I should just let the past be the past and be glad I have such a wonderful girl in my life. But I'm still afraid that I'll bring something up when we're talking, because I want to know what would cause her to do something like that. I just don't like being lied to...

Also share any experiences you have maybe had with discovering good friends' past lives...



I don't really give a **** about anything else going on, but the black friend part made me lol pretty hard... in fact, I think you just made this post so you could say "my black friend"
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