#1
My crazy exgirlfriend who almost killed me last time I saw her just texted me saying she wanted to get back together. She also offered sex. And I am aware that sex with crazies is the shiz. But I also don't want to get murdered. Its clear you can see my dilemma. Any insightful advice?
O.o

Lets have a sexy partay!


Quote by R_U_READY?
brutal cabbage you sire are, in all sense of the word, a LEGEND no abbreviation can portray the hilarity of what u hav bequeathed to us, i love you for this


I am loved!
#2
Rape her and pick up the loot.
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#3
Sex by death is better than death without sex
#4
*shifty eyes*


...bone her and send me pics.
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#7
Quote by whitebluesboy
hit it and quit it


And get murdered?
I've been here since '04.

#9
Quote by NFFC_1865
And get murdered?


Well, when he said "quit it," he was probably talking about life.
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FUCK ROCKS!
#10
Quote by NFFC_1865
And get murdered?

It's worth the risk. If she really wanted him dead, God help him, she would've found a way sooner or later.
Fender Strat
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#11
Quote by NFFC_1865
And get murdered?


Finally someone sees the dilemma.
Trust me I would hit it and quit it if I could.
But I'm afraid to come near her without taser and bulletproof vest.
This leads to the inevitable conclusion of taser sex, which I'm frankly not sure if I could perform under the conditions of.
O.o

Lets have a sexy partay!


Quote by R_U_READY?
brutal cabbage you sire are, in all sense of the word, a LEGEND no abbreviation can portray the hilarity of what u hav bequeathed to us, i love you for this


I am loved!
#12
Quote by NFFC_1865
And get murdered?


Well if she's really ****ing crazy she will probably break in and rape him in the bathroom, so I think him having sex with her and then being like "peace" is a much better choice.
#13
There are three threads on the front page called, "So, Pit..."

I'm tempted to make another thread discussing this phenomenon. Guess what I'd call it.
#14
This reminds me of a phrase people used to say at my primary school "Death or magumba?" it means "Death or 1000 dicks up your ass?"

Either way you're ****ed.

If you say no, [death], she will come looking for you and kill you [which is death BY magumba, 1000 dicks up the arse.

If you say magumba and **** her, you're gonna die by the 1000 dicks up the arse anyway. So yeah.
#15
If she tries to kill you, all you have to do is choke her with your ****...


Assuming you have one, right?
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#16
Quote by ir0n_ma1den
If she tries to kill you, all you have to do is choke her with your ****...


Assuming you have one, right?


Shes a biter
O.o

Lets have a sexy partay!


Quote by R_U_READY?
brutal cabbage you sire are, in all sense of the word, a LEGEND no abbreviation can portray the hilarity of what u hav bequeathed to us, i love you for this


I am loved!
#18
Quote by BrutalCabbage
Finally someone sees the dilemma.
Trust me I would hit it and quit it if I could.
But I'm afraid to come near her without taser and bulletproof vest.
This leads to the inevitable conclusion of taser sex, which I'm frankly not sure if I could perform under the conditions of.



Well if you go with the taser make sure your dick isn't in her when you do it.
P.L.U.R.

We'll choke on our vomit and that will be the end

We were fated to pretend
#19
try to find a semi-safe place to meet and then frisk her to make sure she doesn't have any weapons. Touch her boobs alot to make the frisking seem like a part of foreplay. If she's weapon free, hit it and quit.
"There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die."-Duke
#20
If you reject her , wouldn't then that make her mad, then she kills you...
#21
Quote by punkrocker10115
Well if you go with the taser make sure your dick isn't in her when you do it.

That actually sounds like fun.
#22
Quote by punkrocker10115
Well if you go with the taser make sure your dick isn't in her when you do it.



OR
Maybe make sure my dick IS in her
sounds like fun


EDIT: ^that guy gets it
O.o

Lets have a sexy partay!


Quote by R_U_READY?
brutal cabbage you sire are, in all sense of the word, a LEGEND no abbreviation can portray the hilarity of what u hav bequeathed to us, i love you for this


I am loved!
#23
Quote by Ostinattos
If you reject her , wouldn't then that make her mad, then she kills you...


The only solution...

is to kill her.


Accept the sex, kill her, and rape her corpse.
I've been here since '04.

#24
Quote by Demonology
This reminds me of a phrase people used to say at my primary school "Death or magumba?" it means "Death or 1000 dicks up your ass?"

Either way you're ****ed.

If you say no, [death], she will come looking for you and kill you [which is death BY magumba, 1000 dicks up the arse.

If you say magumba and **** her, you're gonna die by the 1000 dicks up the arse anyway. So yeah.


Magumba isn't 1000 dicks up your ass....
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#25
Quote by Jabman
Magumba isn't 1000 dicks up your ass....


It is in his gay little mind.
I've been here since '04.

#26
unlimited sex, when she tries to kill you, you kill er first, thats it
''courage is not enough to forget''
#27
Wait, does she want sex specifically with you? Because I'm free.
#28
Quote by imgooley
Wait, does she want sex specifically with you? Because I'm free.


Sadly, you don't give as awesome taser sex as me.

So what is the verdict?
Fuck or run?
O.o

Lets have a sexy partay!


Quote by R_U_READY?
brutal cabbage you sire are, in all sense of the word, a LEGEND no abbreviation can portray the hilarity of what u hav bequeathed to us, i love you for this


I am loved!
#29
Quote by BrutalCabbage
Sadly, you don't give as awesome taser sex as me.

So what is the verdict?
Fuck or run?

Both.


And you haven't had taser sex with me so you wouldn't know
#30
nail her then pics or it didnt happen
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Condoms, for all the copious amounts of pussy with which you will be inevitably bombarded from this moment onward.


#31
Screw her in public. Who knows, she's crazy, she might be up to it.
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#33
Quote by BrutalCabbage
Finally someone sees the dilemma.
Trust me I would hit it and quit it if I could.
But I'm afraid to come near her without taser and bulletproof vest.
This leads to the inevitable conclusion of taser sex, which I'm frankly not sure if I could perform under the conditions of.


Fukk her with a taser and a bulletproof vest then.
#34
**** her with the taser, while wearing a bulletproof vest.


but yea, just come armed?
or cuff her u can say its a turn on when its really to keep u...alive
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#35
Quote by SuPaGrAm
**** her with the taser, while wearing a bulletproof vest.


but yea, just come armed?
or cuff her u can say its a turn on when its really to keep u...alive


**** her with the bulletproof vest, while wearing a taser.
#36
I'm intruiged, how did she try to kill you last time?
time machine. Inadvertently, I had created a
#38
Quote by iceman_8319
I'm intruiged, how did she try to kill you last time?


She came at me with a kitchen knife because I told her to shut the **** up when I was on the phone. We were both in pretty bad moods. But the difference was I wasn't about to stab her over it.


Quote by TheBF
**** her with the bulletproof vest, while wearing a taser.


O.o

Pics if someone ever does this plz
O.o

Lets have a sexy partay!


Quote by R_U_READY?
brutal cabbage you sire are, in all sense of the word, a LEGEND no abbreviation can portray the hilarity of what u hav bequeathed to us, i love you for this


I am loved!
#40
Quote by DarkEra97
Stop trolling, thats a solution the whole Pit can enjoy.

EDIT: https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=837304



Its not trolling, these things did happen and i am looking for advice, although not expecting it, this IS the pit.

If anything, the thread names are trolling, I was merely taking advantage of the short lived phenomenon that was occurring.

But the content within said thread is valid.
O.o

Lets have a sexy partay!


Quote by R_U_READY?
brutal cabbage you sire are, in all sense of the word, a LEGEND no abbreviation can portray the hilarity of what u hav bequeathed to us, i love you for this


I am loved!