I hold my breath with little hope
As my lungs collapse and fill with smoke
I spew forth bile and choke on sense
My helplessness, my own doing

You forced my hand, the will was mine
To halt my downward spiral
I should have known my place in this
Was anchored in denial
-of facts, of fiction, of plain truths
Mistaken and misplaced

I lost them all down the rabbit hole
-The warren of my mind