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#1
Just submit your best drummer jokes. mine's...

How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Five: One to screw the bulb in, and four to talk about how much better Neil Peart would have done it.
hello
#2
Two musicians and a drummer walk into a bar.
Quote by Roger_Waters
^ wow i actually almost missed that hahaha iforgot your a genious


Don't blame us if we ever doubt you, you know we couldn't live without you.

I'm oedipus, bitch, the original balla
Bust out my 9, light up your Impala
fuck that police!
#7
just another one.

A drummer, sick of being ridiculed, decides to learn some "real" instruments. So he goes into a shop and tells the shop keeper 'I'll take that red trumpet over there and that accordian'. The shop keeper says 'You can have the fire extinguisher but the radiator's staying here'.
hello
#9
I can think of loads

What did the drummer get on the IQ test?
Drool

What's happened when a drummer is in your bed gasping for air?
You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

What do you call a drummer with half a brain?
Gifted.

There's a band in practice. The bandleader says to the drummer "OK we're doing Sun Goes Down. Paradiddle the first 8 bars, drop to 3/4 time for the bridge and then skip every third bass drum beat from the second chorus" The drummer says "I might need some time to practice" The bandleader says "Just do it how you did it yesterday!"

How do you tell a stage is level?
Wait until the drummer passes out drunk, then if he falls flat on his back, it's level.


Sad thing is that I play drums........
#10
how do u know if its a drummer knocking at the door: the knocking gradually gets faster
"You're a twat!"- That dude in morrisons

"You Ugly git!" - That girl in the restaurant

"You Were a Mistake!" - Mum

just a few of my fans..



#11
Whats the difference between a drummer and a drum machine?

You only have to punch the information once into a drum machine.
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#12
all time favorite, everyone probably knows it:

What's the last thing a drummer says in a band?
"Hey guys, why don't we try one of my songs?
me fail english? that's unpossible!
#15
What's the best way to confuse a drummer?
Put a sheet of music in front of him.
Xbox Live tag: Dream Away Rain
Add!

Quote by marko'd
dont sweat how quick your progressing, i heard that Jimi hendrix didnt get his legendary guitar skills until he was dead


Quote by Dreadnought
+ MOTHERFUCKIN' 1
#17
Quote by Fassa Albrecht

There's a band in practice. The bandleader says to the drummer "OK we're doing Sun Goes Down. Paradiddle the first 8 bars, drop to 3/4 time for the bridge and then skip every third bass drum beat from the second chorus" The drummer says "I might need some time to practice" The bandleader says "Just do it how you did it yesterday!"


?

I don't get it.

EDIT: also, paradiddling for 8 bars would be repetitive. If you just played them on the snare anyway.
Signature temporarily empty
Last edited by Lord Of Donkeys at Apr 14, 2008,
#20
At a rehearsal:

Drummer - I gotta go, my dad said to be home by 4
Singer/Keyboardist - Come on dude, your a drummer, your never on time.
Dissonance is Bliss


Signal Chain:
Carvin CT-4
Ibanez TS-9
Carvin Quad-X
TC Electronics G-Major
Mesa/Boogie 2:90
Ear Candy BuzzBomb



Member #4 of the Carvin Club
#22
i got a bassist joke:

How many bass players does it take to screw in a light bulb?
1... and 2 guitarists to steal his glory.
#23
LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i'm guna tell these to my drummer mate

also, from guitar hero 2....

Life is hard for musicians, but for drummers its impossible
Quote by roythereaper
Nice bum >.> <.<
#25
Quote by Ichimaru
What's the best way to confuse a drummer?
Put a sheet of music in front of him.


That's also a very effiecient way of silencing most guitarists
#26
Quote by Lord-O-Donuts
I hate my slow connection.



Whoever made that crappy Def Leppard joke I'm going to personally hunt down and hit.
#27
Quote by Ichimaru
What's the best way to confuse a drummer?
Put a sheet of music in front of him.



What about me? I drum and I can read four different clefs.
#28
A guy goes to an audition to be a bassist and gets in. The band leader says 'You need to have a third of your brain removed to be a bassist'. So the guy agrees. After the operation the surgeon says 'I'm afraid there were some complications, we removed three quarters of your brain instead.' The band leader says 'You're now the drummer.'
hello
#29
Quote by Fassa Albrecht
What about me? I drum and I can read four different clefs.

There jokes, not all of them are fact .
hello
#30
What has three legs and an asshole?
A drum stool.
Xbox Live tag: Dream Away Rain
Add!

Quote by marko'd
dont sweat how quick your progressing, i heard that Jimi hendrix didnt get his legendary guitar skills until he was dead


Quote by Dreadnought
+ MOTHERFUCKIN' 1
#31
this should get sticky...or something its funny
Quote by Wrst_Plyr_Evr
I beat my wife








Beating yea bi
#32
Quote by Fassa Albrecht
Whoever made that crappy Def Leppard joke I'm going to personally hunt down and hit.


It's not their fault Def Leppard sucks....
#33
haha all these jokes are great, Id like to say I have a few of my own but i dont. But you guys have given me plenty of taunts to use on my drummer friends!
#35
Quote by david_highland
It's not their fault Def Leppard sucks....



That's your opinion....and they're like assholes. Everyone has one but no-one wants to know about yours.


Plus, Rick Allen is my drumming idol........
#36
What happened when the band's guitarist locked the keys in the tour bus?

It took him an hour to get the drummer out.
#37
Quote by Rizzo228
this should get sticky...or something its funny

+1
hello
#38
how many drummers are necesarry to change a lightbulb 5??
no....!!!

actually 7... 1st is standing on a table and holding the lamp... other for rotates the table...


EDIT: what bout two others??

they stand and guard the door in case the voltage will come to beat others


sorry if the last part will sound strange... (umm nto sure) but i've translated it from russian which was tranclated from Armenian lol
#39
Quote by opc100
+1



+10 for the sig...making me laugh
Quote by Wrst_Plyr_Evr
I beat my wife








Beating yea bi
#40
Quote by Fassa Albrecht
That's your opinion....and they're like assholes. Everyone has one but no-one wants to know about yours.


Plus, Rick Allen is my drumming idol........


Hey, calm down their buddy, this thread is for jokes we don't need that kinda hostility. Leave it to a drummer to ruin a guitarists good time....
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