#1
The passing chill screeches across the land
Riding with decay
The pale season...
the dying trees...
An oak clad with white, stands still, amidst the frozen air
...yet again
Naked limbs stretch outward, grasping towards the sun
To catch the life it holds
...to no avail.

Yet in months, it raises, from death.
Enriched with vigork, it grasps the light within it's restored palms
To repeat the cycle, as the earth passes around
Ever growing, ever changing, ever living
...Ever dying.


Crit for Crit.
Quote by Mike Birbiglia
I went to the doctor, and they found something in my bladder. And whenever they find something, it's never anything good like, "We found something in your bladder AND IT'S SEASON TICKETS TO THE YANKEES!!


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#3
The passing chill screeches across the land
Riding with decay
The pale season...
the dying trees...
An oak clad with white, stands still, amidst the frozen air
...yet again
Naked limbs stretch outward, grasping towards the sun
To catch the life it holds
...to no avail.
I like this. I am not a big fan of the word screeching though haha. It just sets my teeth on edge, a nails on the chalkboard word for me if you will. I think I would like this better if the ... after season was a comma. I think it would look, and sound better.

Yet in months, it raises, from death.
Enriched with vigork, it grasps the light within it's restored palms
To repeat the cycle, as the earth passes around
Ever growing, ever changing, ever living
...Ever dying.

The only thing that I would do is take out yet at the very beginning. You already used it, and it doesnt need it really.

I liked this alot, :] I thought that I pretty much got what you were going for. thanks or the crit.