#1
For me it's probably having a blood nose in the middle of a school wide assembly and then I ran out of the hall, and smashed my nose on a chair on the way out -.- My then-gf dumped me just for that, and I got mocked for the next week. What about you, Pit?
ಠ_ಠ WILL GIVE HEAD

Quote by Myxer
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#2
i once tried to have sex with my teacher and couldn't get it up...the whole class laughed for what seemed like forever...
Pretty please, with sugar on top, clean the f***ing car.
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Someone told me there's a girl out there
With love in her eyes and flowers in her hair...

I will find this girl.

#3
Quote by hazardmaster
For me it's probably having a blood nose in the middle of a school wide assembly and then I ran out of the hall, and smashed my nose on a chair on the way out -.- My then-gf dumped me just for that, and I got mocked for the next week. What about you, Pit?


sounds like shes a pretentious *****. youre better off without her
Remember through sounds
Remember through smells
Remember through colors
Remember through towns
-Modest Mouse, "Novocaine Stain"
#4
Quote by NoLaurelTree000
sounds like shes a pretentious *****. youre better off without her


Yeah, glad she left me.
ಠ_ಠ WILL GIVE HEAD

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Have to give you props that the funniest post I read in a while
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#5
I've split my pants numerous times in primary school.

Also i have fallen over in front of about 200-300 students =\

Then i was gonna see my French teacher. I stuck my head in the door and smacked it on the frame. The class laughed at me =[
I hate my username, it all happened in a rush


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#6
Quote by NoLaurelTree000
sounds like shes a pretentious *****. youre better off without her

Pretentious is not the right word for that. But it's ok. We get what you means.
#7
never really had anything embarrassing happen at school. One time in 8th grade, I was walking out of the classroom and my teacher tripped me and I went flying to the floor, but I played it off as comedy so there wasn't really any embarrassment.
"There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die."-Duke
#8
I was in a physics lecture of about 350 people, and of course I was bored out of my skull so I started to get a little sleepy. I started leaning the chair back, but I went too far and it fell out from underneath me and I hit the floor pretty hard. The entire class goes silent and you can hear me say "****". Got up, laughed it off, lecture continued. Boy was my face red.
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#9
i'm on the water polo team, and one time as i was getting out of the pool my schlong popped out for a breath of air.
...
it actually wasn't that embarrassing, i guess.
i've always wanted to go streaking through school anyway.
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#10
one time in the sixth grade during a presentation i farted really loudly. Personally i thought it was a pretty impressive one, but the class wasn't as impressed as i was.
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#11
Just today, we were playing with a water bottle and I got my sweatshirt sorta wet. When I went to English, it looked like my tits were sweating.
#13
Quote by ThePeacefrog
Pretentious is not the right word for that. But it's ok. We get what you means.


pre·ten·tious –adjective
1. full of pretense or pretension.
2. characterized by assumption of dignity or importance.
3. making an exaggerated outward show; ostentatious.

well according to dictionary.com it is the right word, but hell im drunk as hell off or some captain so who knows

i took AP english back in high school so dont f uck with me
Remember through sounds
Remember through smells
Remember through colors
Remember through towns
-Modest Mouse, "Novocaine Stain"
#14
The most mucus ridden sneeze in front of my class. Plus many many bloody noses.
#15
well one time today my friend said if i hump the floor he'll give me a chocolate milk, and being the fatass that i am i did it and when i was on the floor my other friend gave me a wedgie but it turned out it wasnt a wedgie he was really just puttign ITCHY ASSED ITCHING POWDER which was really itchy and for the rest of the day people kept asking me, hows my butt crack
#16
Quote by NoLaurelTree000
pre·ten·tious –adjective
1. full of pretense or pretension.
2. characterized by assumption of dignity or importance.
3. making an exaggerated outward show; ostentatious.

well according to dictionary.com it is the right word, but hell im drunk as hell off or some captain so who knows

i took AP english back in high school so dont f uck with me

It may be the definition but I've never seen it used in that way. In regards to art, and music etc. Im sure theres more uses . I hate to see people make a habit of using words wrong then saying it in public. Meant no harm . I'm in a smilien mood.
#17
Quote by ThePeacefrog
It may be the definition but I've never seen it used in that way. In regards to art, and music etc. Im sure theres more uses . I hate to see people make a habit of using words wrong then saying it in public. Meant no harm . I'm in a smilien mood.


no worries. i dont blame you. 99% of the time in the pit people like to act like pseudo-intellectuals so i dont blame you for calling me on that.

but i assure you, i was 100% correct in using it in the way that i did
Remember through sounds
Remember through smells
Remember through colors
Remember through towns
-Modest Mouse, "Novocaine Stain"
#18
I honestly was streaking across the football field on a dare and I tripped in a gopher hole and did like a frontflip lol.
ಥ_ಥ
#19
Quote by arsonite
I honestly was streaking across the football field on a dare and I tripped in a gopher hole and did like a frontflip lol.


i admire your courage haha frontflip is pretty epic
#20
someone found out I was talking on UG about my most embarrassing moments....it was horrible. I couldn't even go to the PROM!
#21
Got pantsed... everything came down. I was in front of a bunch of girls too. I wouldn't have minded if it was just my underwear, but it was everything. God that sucked.
I can honestly say I have really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like.


I don't always post on UG, but when I do, I post in the Pit. Stay thirsty my friends.
#22
I got smacked hard in the nuts yesterday I was drooling and rolling around on the floor a bit.

Today everyone was like, "Oh hey, how're your nuts, man?"


Yeah, this was by like, my oldest friend.

I have to think up something good for him.
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#23
I came to school
We walked into the night

Am I to bid you farewell?


Why can't you see that I try
When every tear I shed


Is for you?
#24
I suppose I should contribute my story.

My friends and I were having a discussion for no apparent reason about..*cough* vibrating condoms. And we were all trying to figure out, WHAT MAKES IT VIBRATE!? But we must have been talking too loud or our voices carried a long distance because my entire class heard us. We went back to sit down, and everybody cracked up laughing. Note: My friends and I are all sixteen year old girls who attend a private school. Not the obvious ones to be talking about vibrating contraception but eh. Freaking hilarious none the less.
"It's only after you've lost everything," Tyler says, "that you're free to do anything."
#26
Quote by ShootToKill
I suppose I should contribute my story.

My friends and I were having a discussion for no apparent reason about..*cough* vibrating condoms. And we were all trying to figure out, WHAT MAKES IT VIBRATE!? But we must have been talking too loud or our voices carried a long distance because my entire class heard us. We went back to sit down, and everybody cracked up laughing. Note: My friends and I are all sixteen year old girls who attend a private school. Not the obvious ones to be talking about vibrating contraception but eh. Freaking hilarious none the less.


No comment o.0. That must've SUCKED lol.


What DOES make it vibrate?
ಠ_ಠ WILL GIVE HEAD

Quote by Myxer
Have to give you props that the funniest post I read in a while
Quote by GogglesVK

hazardmaster has won this thread.


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Vox Valvetronix AD15VT
#27
I get blood noses just for no reason.
So I get a lot of "TEGAN? ARE YOU OKAY? OMG!"
Bec, who I've known for 11 years, is the only one to catch on that it just happens and there is nothing to worry about.

Uh, I'm sure I've done some embarrassing things but I can't really remember, so they must not have been too bad.
Quote by metacarpi
t3gan? Coming to the UK?

*smooths mair and straightens shirt*

Quote by SomeoneYouKnew
t3gan and Bec > Tegan and Sara.
#28
^theres a girl at my school like that, nosebleeds prettymuch randomly. She also gets bruised really easily. She got elbowed in the face in PE and her cheek swelled up heaps. Twas massive
#29
Quote by hazardmaster
No comment o.0. That must've SUCKED lol.


What DOES make it vibrate?



a vibrating ring at the base of your pEnI5...
#30
Had the worst hangover ever after my 18th Birthday and lessons started at 10.00 I made it through the lesson drinking water and coke. Then as I got up to leave the lesson the liquids sloshed around my belly forcing me to spew last nights booze and kebab over a few kids in year 7 then I proceeded to fight with some Year 11's for taking the piss out of me throwing up. Man I was still drunk anyway.
#31
Got my the tips of my fingers cut off on the hinge side of the door while waiting to get my BCG..continued to yell cuss words until someone would open the door so i could pull them out..a teacher in the classroom next door came out ragin (cause he heard the very loud yelling and cuss words) but when he seen the blood pissin pout he quickly made haste...

Embarassing..yet strangley amusing now that i look back on it..remembering my friends faces at the sight of bone and blood...

Happened to my fretting hand though i still manage to play guitar..all in the name of rock n roll...
#33
Quote by Beast-Wyvern
I came at school

You came at school?

Not a lot really, just telling inappropriate jokes. It still happens to me all the time.

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Today I stole a girls tampons for being such an annoying bitch.





MUFC


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Berserker.
#34
i was playing football during break and my pants were quite loose so they kinda fell really low but i managed to pull them up quickly before anyone saw...i think.
Quote by 100Roy001
I used to have sex with dolls.
When I was really young, though.


Like, 26 or something.

#35
I remember playing softball in PE with loads of others watching. The ball came to me for what was a simple catch, but the sun was in my eyes, i lost it and it hit me square in the face.
#37
i got flagged in my gym class infront of maybe 20(?) people. The rest of the class i flagged the guy repeatedly for about 4 times.


But this one thing happened to someone else. At our football homecoming, we were running through the banner infront of a packed crowd. We were supposed to run through the banner and then do a break down in the middle of the field. Anyway We go through the banner and theres a camera guy taking pictures in the middle of the field. One of my friends doesnt see him and runs RIGHT into him. They both fall on their ass infront of like 2 thousand people. Haha lmao it was in the beginning of the school year but everytime i think of it i laugh
Quote by gu1t4rh3r0
One of my friends said to the principle once,
"NO! The voices tell me not to talk to you!" *Runs away on all fours*
The principle eventually caught up to him and gave him a drug test.
#38
ok the worste times ive ever had were in PE class.

Running a mile with a boner in those track shorts.... no fun.

and i would have to say the day of our PE Finals. i had some wicked bad diahriah(sp?). we had to run a mile and every pass we made, we had to run up and down our bleachers. well the first time was hard, but i held it in. Second lap i dribbled some out.

I remember running by my friend and him saying "you smell like **** dude" and i told him "i farted, sorry" then i ran to the teacher and got a note to go to the nurse. i know she knew what happened because she was lookin at me weird. on the way to the nurse i shat myself again. it was dribbling down my leg now.

I ran to a bathroom and let it all out. really messy. i washed my leg and i ditched my favorite pair of boxers .

That was freshman year. it was the worst year of my life
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#39
So, in 7th grade, this kid wanted to buy my old Yu-Gi-Oh cards, sweet deal, I'd never use 'em again.

So I'm sitting in English with them in my pocket, and I realize that the teacher and entire class has fallen silent. My teacher points to the floor below my desk...and there lied all of those Yu-Gi-Oh cards...I had to pick up all of them in front of the entire class, with the girl I liked sitting right behind me...terrible times...