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#1
Like the title says, I think my sister is hitting on me.

She:

Plays with my hair
Plays footsie with me
Leaves the bathroom door unlocked when she showers
Leaves her under-garments in my laundry basket

In addition, she attempted to sabotage my last relationship by assuming a false identity. I know the normal response is "pix plox" or "you should **** her" but seriously guys. She is my sister, and I don't know what to do right now.

And I know people aren't going to take me seriously until I "deliver" So I'll just do it before anyone asks and post a picture.



Can anyone give me a serious answer please?
#2
rape her

didn't even read the thread but first


EDIT: ok, i read it, and saw the picture, and seriously, you should totally do her. Not even kidding. Don't pass up on the opportunity of a lifetime, I mean how often does a shot at incest come along? Not enough i say.
O.o

Lets have a sexy partay!


Quote by R_U_READY?
brutal cabbage you sire are, in all sense of the word, a LEGEND no abbreviation can portray the hilarity of what u hav bequeathed to us, i love you for this


I am loved!
#4
Quote by Domino
...seriously?



Yes seriously, and I know a lot of you fantasize about that, but when it's actually happening to you, with your own actual sister, it's disgusting.
#6
that is kind of... ****ed


I can't help thinking you have over-thought the situation though


its probably nothing
Last.Fm

“If there was anything that depressed him more than his own cynicism, it was that quite often it still wasn't as cynical as real life.”
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qft...



Jeremy Clarkson is a knob.
#7
Originally posted by Camakazie:

On my gravestone i want jesus and satan fighting with lightsabers. Or a big hand pointing to the grave next to me saying "I'm with stupid"


Superman of the UG heroes and villans club, P.M. josh999x to join
#10
This could boil down to your inability to tell the difference between flirting and friendship..
maybe girls you like act the same way she does... so you hope that means you like them. Otherwise she's crazy.
~Domino?

This life's too good to last
and I'm too young to care.


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#11
....


butt secks?


or you could sock her in the arm real hard.
#13
Quote by diminishedtobme
Haha generic Cola.


Didn't notice it till you said it but I looked at the picture again and it made me lol.
O.o

Lets have a sexy partay!


Quote by R_U_READY?
brutal cabbage you sire are, in all sense of the word, a LEGEND no abbreviation can portray the hilarity of what u hav bequeathed to us, i love you for this


I am loved!
#15
Quote by Domino
This could boil down to your inability to tell the difference between flirting and friendship..
maybe girls you like act the same way she does... so you hope that means you like them. Otherwise she's crazy.



I'm pretty certain I can discern the difference between the two. What my sister has been doing is totally out of the norm.
#16
Quote by lefthandman9876
this guys a spammer, hes an april 08 and i just reported him for spamming up another thread


Ummm... when did I spam?

I've only made two posts...
#17
Try to make out with her and see what she does.

If shes into woohoo.
If shes not, damn your fucked.

But seriously, none of that stuff you said sounded really overly flirty.
Its not like shes massaging your balls while you sleep or anything.


Quote by lefthandman9876
this guys a spammer, hes an april 08 and i just reported him for spamming up another thread


He doesn't seem that much like a spammer.
O.o

Lets have a sexy partay!


Quote by R_U_READY?
brutal cabbage you sire are, in all sense of the word, a LEGEND no abbreviation can portray the hilarity of what u hav bequeathed to us, i love you for this


I am loved!
#18
Well then you're just the ****.

</thread>
~Domino?

This life's too good to last
and I'm too young to care.


Musics
Follow me on Twitter, I'm cool.
#19
Quote by diminishedtobme
Haha generic Cola.


Don't know why I found that funny, but its sigged.
Quote by JackWhiteIsButts
I saw Pantera live once, Dime changed into a body bag right there on stage.


#21
maybe YOU want your sister, and want to believe all this means she wants you, and want to believe that statement, but in reality it is you who wants your sister ... stop denying!
#22
dude which one are you? the chick next to the older woman, or the dude with the tan goin on?
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#24
Its not that great asking that here and then showing a picture of yourself, sister and family.
Shes your sister, she looks after you because your family so she could just be jealous you have a gf and she has nothing.
And the shower stuff, how do you even know that???
Plus, I bet you seen her naked before anyways and like it really matters.
Your brother and sister so yeah, no sex.
But I laughed my ass off at that guy telling you to though lol
Also if thats your sister on the left, your sister is kinda hott lol
#25
Maybe... maybe you sub-consciously are in love with your own sister, and you are interpreting these actions as her hitting on you.

... You're sick, man!

Originally posted by Camakazie:

On my gravestone i want jesus and satan fighting with lightsabers. Or a big hand pointing to the grave next to me saying "I'm with stupid"


Superman of the UG heroes and villans club, P.M. josh999x to join
#26
It's better than nothing.

And you registered just for this?
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#28
Quote by BrutalCabbage
Try to make out with her and see what she does.

If shes into woohoo.
If shes not, damn your fucked.

But seriously, none of that stuff you said sounded really overly flirty.
Its not like shes massaging your balls while you sleep or anything.


He doesn't seem that much like a spammer.


how would he know? he would be asleep whilst the ball massaging is being performed
#29
Quote by SqueakyMcSqueak
What?


You're fantastic. Your sister wants you. There's nothing you can do about it because you're that damn good.
There's nothing left to say.
~Domino?

This life's too good to last
and I'm too young to care.


Musics
Follow me on Twitter, I'm cool.
#30
Quote by Domino
You're fantastic. Your sister wants you. There's nothing you can do about it because you're that damn good.
There's nothing left to say.


Are you trying to project your desires through me?
#33
Learn a song by a band she likes and play it for her, if your sister really does want you, it'll happen then and there.
#34
Quote by SqueakyMcSqueak
Are you trying to project your desires through me?

Are you trying to project your desires through the pit?
~Domino?

This life's too good to last
and I'm too young to care.


Musics
Follow me on Twitter, I'm cool.
#36
Hmmmm.... I can't come to a conclusion at this moment. The only way for me to help you is if you pm me nudes of your sister.
#37
She probably plays with your hair cause alot of girls do that, dunno what footsies is.. sounds pretty harmless. She probably dosen't lock the door cause she trusts you and the family enough not to walk in and she leaves her dirty laundry around, so do i and i'm not cracking onto my family, bad habit. Dunno about the false ID thing, probably trying to **** with you being a sister and you a brother it's something that could happen, could be seeking some revenge Point is your a ****ing retard.

Get over it. Your sister does not want your most likely very small penis. Get over it retard.
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#39
Okay you guys, new focus.

Focus: Post your personal incest stories.
More than anything he was


"Ange," he whispered. No answer.


"Angela..." a little louder. "Angela!"


"Mmmf?" was the groggy answer.


"Are you awake?" he asked inanely.


"No...."


"I can't sleep," he told her. He felt like a little kid, not a

seventeen-year-old boy--no, nearly a man. He was almost whining, and

enjoying the feeling of being cranky just to disrupt everyone else's good

time, the same way he did when he was four.


"Well, I can," Angela answered testily, and rolled away from the

edge of the bed.


What a jerk! Brian sat up and glared at her in the blackness.

"C'mon, sis, this air mattress sucks," although he had found it more or

less fine a few minutes before. "I'll never get to sleep."


Angela gave an exaggerated sigh. "You know the deal. I get the

bed for two days then we switch. Then it will be Thursday and you can

have your own room back. I know you hate losing your room. I hate

losing my privacy too. But it's only four days. I'm sure you can tough

it out, big brother." The last sentence was sarcastic and condescending

enough to jack up his annoyance another level.


He pushed the covers away and leaned on the edge of her bed. He

had no idea what he was doing til the words popped out of his mouth. "Let

me lie down up there, just for a few minutes. There's plenty of room,

it's a double bed..." She had rolled back over when she felt his weight

on the side of her bed. Now he could sort of make out her "You have got

to be kidding" look and realized his eyes were adjusting to the

darkness. He frowned. When had they gotten so impatient with each

other? They were usually bickering about something, or teasing each

other and not very kindly either. Words like "geek" and "airhead" flew

back and forth routinely, and occasionally, when Mom and Dad weren't

around, "bitch" and "asshole" found their way into their fights. But he

could remember only a few years ago when they could happily spend the

entire afternoon working on a jigsaw puzzle or playing Monopoly, her

blonde head almost touching his reddish-blond one as they hunched over

what they were doing. He had taken more than one good beating defending

her from neighborhood bullies.


Now, however, all he wanted to do was throw her to the bullies

himself. Where did she get off being so snotty with him? Just to show

her that he could, he climbed up on the side of her bed and sat there,

wearing nothing but his boxer shorts. She reacted predictably. "Gross,

get off my bed you geek!" and started kicking at him underneath the

covers. He casually reached out one hand and through the blanket and

sheet, grasped both her ankles and held her still. He moved a little

further onto the bed.


(What are you doing? a warning voice, a Voice of Reason in his

head asked. Good question--just entertaining himself in his wide-awake

boredom and irritation by reminding his little sister who was still the

boss, he decided.)


Angela, meanwhile, had sat all the way up, covers falling to her

waist and her thin nightgown clearly outlining her small breasts in the

dimness. He didn't have time to notice that much, though, because she

started flailing at him with her hands, trying to kick her legs loose,

and hissing furiously, "What are you doing? Stop it right now! Get off

me!" as she did so.


She didn't have much chance of working loose but Brian suddenly

became concerned about the amount of noise she was making. While his

mind was insisting (loudly) that this was all perfectly innocent, at the

same time the last thing he wanted in the entire universe was for his

mother or father to check in. Without thinking about it he leaned his

weight onto her more, pushing her back to the bed under him, and put a

hand over her mouth.


He immediately realized this had been a big mistake as he became

completely hard and aroused. Sudden visions of tearing off both the

covers and Angela's nightgown told him that this had definitely gone

beyond any definition of innocent teasing. He also realized that he

liked the look of concern and fear (was it fear? maybe a little...) in

her eyes above his hand. (What's up with THAT?, the increasingly shrill

Voice of Reason wanted to know. I don't know but I don't want to think

about that right now, he told it.) His current concern was still mainly

not getting in trouble or caught in a compromising situation.


Angela was snuffling a little on each rapid inhalation, as his

hand partially obscured her nose as well as her mouth. He eased up a bit

and she closed her eyes with relief as she could pull in a decent

breath. Brian decided to try to play this out casually. "Don't make any

noise," he whispered. "I'll let go of you. I didn't mean to scare

you." He removed his hand a little, experimentally, and when she didn't

holler for help or anything, he pulled it away completely. But he left

his weight on her a little longer. "Just wanted to remind you that I can

still beat you at wrestling any time I want to. Little sister..." he

told her a bit smugly, and began to move away. (See? Everything's

cool... he told the Voice of Reason.)


But then Angela made one smartass comment that changed

everything. "Yeah but you didn't used to get hardons when you wrestled,

jerkface." Her smirk and the way she bucked her body to push away the

offending erection crumbled the last of his self-control. He brought his

full weight back down on her and held her pinned. Her struggle didn't

help her situation at all, only arousing him more and working the covers

that were still between them further and further down. Now she could

feel his hardness that much more clearly, with only the flimsy fabric of

his shorts and her gown between them.


He grasped both her wrists in one hand and held them over her

head. Her breathing was coming in rapid gasps now, was it fear and

adrenaline from fighting or...something else? He burrowed his head

between her neck and shoulder, near her ear and she squirmed. "Yeah, I

have a hardon, so what?" he breathed, and pushed it, harder, against her

leg. (At this, the Voice of Reason threw up its figurative hands and

signed off for the duration. It was a lost cause.) "So what?" he

repeated. "I've seen you looking at me there. I know you like the fact

that all those short shorts you wear so much tease me and frustrate the

hell out of me. And I know you know what you walked in on when you

caught me in my room last month. Did you see it, Angela? Did you see my

****?" (I've just said that word out loud for the first time in my life,

Brian thought. What am I doing?) But he couldn't stop himself. "Did

you see it? Did you think about it in here, in the dark? Did you touch

yourself? Did you think of me and touch yourself?"


At his last question, Angela stopped moving or struggling. She

froze. Holy ****, Brian thought, she did! He lost it completely then.

He began kissing the side of her neck. "Oh, God, you feel so good..." he

told her, inhaling her scent, part soap and shampoo from her shower that

evening, part just her. He sprawled on her a little more, her nightgown

beginning to ride up. He collided with the massive pile of stuffed

animals that still took up half her bed. (What's with all the stuffed

animals? he wondered, not for the first time. She's sixteen for crying

out loud.)


"Brian....." Angela said hoarsely. Not fear, no...definitely

something else in her voice now. "Brian....God, Brian, you have to stop

this. Please...."


"Ange...I can't. I need to touch you, just a little more.

You're so soft....." He nuzzled her again, her neck and shoulder and

face as her rapid breathing filled his ears. He let go of her hands,

ready to move away when she inevitably pushed him off.


But she didn't. Instead her hands snaked around his back and

pulled him down tighter. "Oh, God..." he moaned. He knew they were well

into the danger zone now and there was not one thing he could do about it.


His hands found her breasts and she gasped. Her nipples were as

hard as pebbles. He squeezed them slightly and she made little noises.

He couldn't stand it any more. He pulled up her nightgown and ran his

hand up her flat belly, now slightly sweaty. He stroked her breasts,

fascinated by how they felt after imagining it for so long (and always

grimly insisting to himself that it wasn't *Angela's* breasts he was

imagining). He had to taste them. He lowered his head and licked a

nipple. She arched her back and he drew it into his mouth, sucking

gently. Her moans became steady and he could feel her hips moving

underneath him. His other hand began to wander across her stomach, back

down, lower....


"Jesus, Brian, we have to stop this! You're my brother! " Angela

was gasping between moans.
#40
Wow, I really like those candles on the top of your shelf there.

As for your little problem, hit that, srsly, I promise you won't regret it, and if you do you can hold me liable.
Quote by Vornik
Thanks for the advice. I'm going to put it, along with your other advice, into a book, the pages of which I will then use to wipe my ass.
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