#1
So, it's one of those nights (well it is for me anyway) where the pit is slow as hell and there's nothing really interesting.

So, I give to you Grouphug lolz.


There was a thread on this ages ago, but I can't find it, and I think the Pit (all 76 or so of us atm) needs something fun to look at.


For the sceptics here are but two lulzworthy quotes:

Quote by grouphug.us
Sometimes I wish I never masturbated with that carrot. Ever since It broke off and I had to have it removed at the hospital, its been awkward trying to masturbate.


Quote by grouphug.us
I stole panties from my best friend’s 2 hot sisters. I used to cum in them and leave them in the laundry basket.

I did this to their clean underwear too, thinking about when they wore it, how they had no clue what I had done to them.
#2
"i scream during sex and my boyfriend loves it"

must be nice...
Quote by Bubonic Chronic
With boys it's like "here's an incredibly complex sport to learn with sophisticated rules and various interdependent roles to play in a social unit."

For girls it's like "here's Barbie...you're fat!"
#4
slow night indeed. Im not sure if i like that site, it makes me feel like i want to do more to the posters than hug or shrug
TheBurningFish wrote:
I don't mean to generalise but I don't believe the average Coldplay fan is a massive musical theory nut.


FS/FT: Cort SP1 Stratocaster
Zoom GFX5 fx processor
Washburn BD40 amp
$100 each OBO
#5
"i just recently found out that my 11 year old sister looks at lesbian porn. i also think she’s been stealing my vibrator."

Idk why but I blame rap music
Quote by Bubonic Chronic
With boys it's like "here's an incredibly complex sport to learn with sophisticated rules and various interdependent roles to play in a social unit."

For girls it's like "here's Barbie...you're fat!"
#6
My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so
we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering
me. It was her beautiful younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law
was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally went
braless. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I
always got more than a pleasant view of her private parts. It had to
be deliberate… She never did it when she was near anyone else.
One day “little” sister called and asked me to come over to check the
wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered
to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn’t
overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once
before I got married, and committed my life to her sister.
Well, I was in total shock, and couldn’t say a word. She said, “I’m
going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling,
just come up and get me.”
I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs.
When she reached the top she pulled off her panties and threw them
down the stairs at me…
I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight
to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my
car.
Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!
With tears in his eyes, my future father-in-law hugged me and said,
“We are very happy that you have passed our little test…..we
couldn’t ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the
family.”
And the moral of this story is:

Always keep your condoms in your car……

Quote by Aftertime
Thanks Mr. Heafyman! you're an absolute legend
Quote by Ex'sAndOh's
Porn is everywhere. Look around.
Porn is in the forest, in your parents bedroom, in the sea.
But most importantly, in your heart.
Quote by Hypnotisation
I take dumps all the time! I R TURDBURGLAR!
#7
^yeah I just read that one too, totally made it worth it
TheBurningFish wrote:
I don't mean to generalise but I don't believe the average Coldplay fan is a massive musical theory nut.


FS/FT: Cort SP1 Stratocaster
Zoom GFX5 fx processor
Washburn BD40 amp
$100 each OBO
#8
I submitted a plagiarized paper to a prestigous international science competition and won $100,000.






THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DUI & DWI DUMBASS
Both charges are equally serious and carry matching punishments.
Arizona usually files two or three charges:

DUI
(A.R.S. Section 28-1381 (A)(1))
Driving Under the Influence of intoxicating liquor (or drugs).
DWI
(A.R.S. Section 28-1381 (A)(2))
Driving with a Blood Alcohol Content (BAC) of 0.10% (or .08% if after 8/01) or greater within two hours of driving.
EXTREME DUI
(A.R.S. Section 28-1382)
Driving with a Blood Alcohol Content (BAC) of 0.15% or greater within two hours of driving.


LOL Even cops use this thing.
#10
my life is a mess, i waste each day of my life everything is never complicated. yet ever day i wake up take a shower go to school come home sit, watch TV, play guitar, and repeat. it never switches its just so boaring not that my life is bad its just what the **** am i doing here why the hell am i exsisting i would like it if someone would reply to this. telling me why the **** i have no emotions. my aunt is dieing in a hospital right now and yet still i sit here thinking nothing. i go to school and just excist i don’t even talk to my friends anymore i have some serious issues that i cannot ignore. if their is something that could help me in life, please work your magic.


the pit must have visited.
Quote by Bubonic Chronic
With boys it's like "here's an incredibly complex sport to learn with sophisticated rules and various interdependent roles to play in a social unit."

For girls it's like "here's Barbie...you're fat!"
#11
"I am incredibly poor. I almost couldn’t make my rent this month and I have to budget out food money and money for school each week. And then today I ****ing went to the home depot and spent 30$ on plant seeds and pots and soil. I’m so angry with myself! That could be food money! I’m so dumb! I just love gardening."


LOL fucking idiot.
I hate my username, it all happened in a rush


████████████████████████████████████████████
████████████████████████████████████████████
████████████████████████████████████████████
#13
Quote by bLiNk182fOrLyF
"I am incredibly poor. I almost couldn’t make my rent this month and I have to budget out food money and money for school each week. And then today I ****ing went to the home depot and spent 30$ on plant seeds and pots and soil. I’m so angry with myself! That could be food money! I’m so dumb! I just love gardening."


LOL fucking idiot.


i currently have $1.30 in my wallet...

thats all the money i have

guess its time to get a job then....
#14

my mum wanted to hang herself before.

i wish i hadnt stopped her




wait... what?
I hate my username, it all happened in a rush


████████████████████████████████████████████
████████████████████████████████████████████
████████████████████████████████████████████
#15
I’m straight, but I wish I were a lesbian.




GAS
Throbak Stonebender | Fulltone Deja Vibe | Catalinbread Semaphore
#16
Dude, theres some serious shit in here

"I have been taking my medication with alcohol because I want to commit suicide but can’t because my girlfriend needs me (I think).
And I tried to find out her secret… I’m so insecure, I want to know everything, I think I’m becoming a stalker. I have the same mindset, it seems, as stalkers and murderers. I’ve been thinking about killing my parents by putting something into their food or drink."

"I think of killing myself every day. It used to be vague. Now I have decided on a method. I practice the act in my mind. I am currently going through my belongings and returning the things once lent to me. Soon I will give away my few valuables, destroy my papers and photos, eradicate my online presence. I don’t want to go, I’m so scared to go, but the pain and guilt is unbearable. I miss her so much."
O.o

Lets have a sexy partay!


Quote by R_U_READY?
brutal cabbage you sire are, in all sense of the word, a LEGEND no abbreviation can portray the hilarity of what u hav bequeathed to us, i love you for this


I am loved!
#17
Quote by 857920186


I’m extremely alone. I have minimal close friends. I “hang” in a group who always invite me out, but i never go because i don’t feel included. My dad had recently moved out of home. That lowered me down a notch too. Ever since that January when he left, and even before, my life had been heading downwards.

I was dumped by my now ex-girlfriend on Christmas eve, to which i found out 3 days later she is with another guy. I truly thought she was the one I was going to spend the rest of my life with.

Then I found out my dad was moving away. He left on the 31st of January. I have seen him twice since he moved, and it’s now April. My school work and academic levels had dropped dramatically after he left. I failed almost all of my half yearlies at school. I spoke to the principal about it and they counselled me and i feel a bit better about myself, but there is still a feeling of doubt and resentment that he just up and left.

Not only that, the ex-girlfriend of mine, carrying on like it never happened, was actually a triplet. Non-identical. I now have feelings for her “older” sister, but haven’t worked up the courage to tell her. Now I am sleepless some nights thinking about her, and just wondering about things.

I am in constant need of companionship, always seeking it, yet i can never find it. If i do happen to find someone whom i care for, I either get too attached and they sense i am being too clingy and leave, they get attached to me too and become too much of a “friend” to ever want to be with me in that way, or they don’t want a bar of in and don’t reciprocate the feelings back, leaving me still cold and alone.



wow. epic.
I hate my username, it all happened in a rush


████████████████████████████████████████████
████████████████████████████████████████████
████████████████████████████████████████████
#20
Quote by 714543826

I was thinking about suicide…and then I realized if I jumped from my banister the whole thing might just break off… and that would cost too much to fix.

...

EDIT:
Quote by 493025270


I started an MSN account but with a girl’s name in the e-mail address. I added my dad to it and he still thinks its a girl. He tells me how he has sex with my mom and sometimes masturbates on cam for me….I did the same thing with my uncle and boss….I’ve seen all their dicks. My uncle’s is the biggest.

Last edited by buckethead_jr at Apr 18, 2008,