#1
Yeah, I don't actually know what the proper spelling of "mary mack" is, so...


Miss mary mack
with that monkey on your back
she screams and she moans
for more more more
oh that whore
when will she shut her mouth
and get off her knees
and come back to me

Miss mary mack, why can't you see?
miss mary mack, come back to me
miss mary mack, I can't eat or sleep
miss mary mack...


Miss mary mack
I'm tired and I'm hungry and I'm sleeping in the bed
of a red and yellow woman thats halfway dead,
she ain't got no lips but a face full of lead
(ohh so full of dread)
miss mary mack
all dressed in black
come back to me
and get on your knees

Miss mary mack why can't you see?
miss mary mack, come back to me
miss mary mack, I can't eat or sleep
miss mary mack...
#2
Dude, you fell in love with a hooker? That's your first problem. lol

It's pretty good, and the rhyme scheme works pretty well. Some of the lines feel a little long, like

"I'm tired and I'm hungry and I'm sleeping in the bed
of a red and yellow woman thats halfway dead"

But those two fit together pretty well, but they seem out of place with the rest of the verse/bridge... whatever the hell that is.

Thanks for posting your ideas
#5
Quote by Conn17
haha theres already a song called mari-mack


yes, well that song can suck my dick.