#1
So this is the first song iv written the lyrics in whole. All my other originals still have blanks in them, so im gonna give it a go

*****************

Verse 1:
I'm three hours from Hell
Dear God, what's that smell
I'm not yet to the pit
but i still feel like ****

And I can't understand
this feeling trapped inside of me forever
Because I can't find a way
To make it stay
To make it ever go away...

...from here

Verse 2:
Working for my life
Working on my own
Picking up the sticks and stones
Looking for a better place
For a place I can call my own

To be a man
To find the key
the answer locked inside of me

All of the strife
All that is torn
All of everything adorned

Chorus:
Help me through this darkness
I don't know how to survive
Help me fight this battle
I want to get out alive

Guide me through
I'll stick with you
Just don't leave me to the ashes
I'll never give up
if you help me up
Just don't let go now

*****************
Then theres a breakdown and the Chorus comes back again
this is my first time really doing this, so id really apreciate any help
My Gear
Fender 72 Tele Deluxe
Behringer GM108
Austin Boot-Heel Cutaway
Dunlop Original Crybaby
Boss DS-1 Distortion
Peavey Valveking 112

Quote by mikeman
Everyone can relate to food or taking dumps but nobody sings about it.
#5
Quote by The Minorthreat
It sounds like a 14 year old wrote it.

care to elaborate?
what do you feel is lacking?
i guess i shouldn't really take too much offence to this, since i am 14, but still
My Gear
Fender 72 Tele Deluxe
Behringer GM108
Austin Boot-Heel Cutaway
Dunlop Original Crybaby
Boss DS-1 Distortion
Peavey Valveking 112

Quote by mikeman
Everyone can relate to food or taking dumps but nobody sings about it.
#6
I like it. Didnt like the two line ending in up. They clash a bit.
But other than that it is good