this is a free-verse narrative, if you will. criticize, compliment, comment, or commend. its up to you.

When you are dead
And majestically embalmed
In your most ornate of caskets
It is your time to shine
Today is the day it would be
Rude to have excuses for
"Sorry I couldn't make it to
Your birthday, Grandpa.
Your great-grandson had his
First soccer game that day.
Here, I got you some sugar-
Free peanut butter cups
'Cause I know they're your favorite."

Near the back of the room
Your deaf-dead ears hear
About the time your granddaughter
Forgot your birthday
"So, I grabbed some candy
I hadn't opened yet left-
Over from Easter which
Was one hell of a deal
At fifty-nine cents a bag
Because it was caffeine-free
Or some **** for a pretty big bag.
Anyway, I stopped by his house
Because it was on the way to
The day-care we used at the time.
He was sitting there listening to the
Oldies with his mouth agape and
Smelling like **** as usual while
I quickly shoved the candy into his
Hand and gritted my teeth through a hug."

As you try to look your best
During the remembrance mourning
Your granddaughter stands up in tears
To take her turn
"The last time I was with
Him I had brought him a giant
Sack of Reese's Cups for his
Belated birthday. They were
Always his favorite, you know.
I hugged him real tight and
Told him I loved him and,
Of course, he just gave me that
Blank statuesque stare.
I know he was saying he loved
Me back though because he is
Still giving not just me, but all
Of us that same stare we've
All grown to know right now.
I don't know how I'm going to
Go on without him. I love you, grandpa."

While you continue to lay rigid
As a stick, rolling around in
The highly-embellished, heavy box
That is being dropped in your
Final home of six feet of earth
You hear your granddaughter's husband
Inquire about the cost of their
Portion of the funeral
"Its fine, honey. We decided as a
Family that we would go as cheap
As possible on this. Its what
Grandpa would have wanted."
"How do you know what he would
Have wanted?" Her husband asked.
"I never heard him say a word.
He was always sitting in the same
Spot with the same radio station
Playing with his mouth wide open."
"Don't talk about my grandpa that way."
She replied.

Now that the funeral is over and
The grieving has ceased, may I
Ask you if you think you deserve
To live with me among the angels?
"Yes, you can and yes, I do." said the
Old man. "God, over the span of my
Life I did not one thing wrong. I
Uttered not one swear word, never
Hurt another man, and was true to
My wife even after she left me."
Your wife left you? Can you elaborate?
"It pains me to repeat the tale, but
Yes, God, for you I will, my Lord.

It was the day after Easter and they
Gave me the day off of work. I
Decided not to call my son and wife
Ahead of time so I could surprise
Them. I came around the corner of my
Block while I saw my wife's car pulling
Away from our babysitter at the time's house.
I tried to catch her, but she was driving
Like she was later for an important date.
That seemed to be the case because fifteen
Minutes later I found her having her
Anus being licked by my brother while my cousin
Had coitus with her vagina
Instead of violently thrusting a
Brass candelabra through my
Cousin's throat and then raping
My brother and gagging my
Wife to death with my feces-covered penis,
I simply thought of What Would
Jesus Do? And walked away,
Picked up my son from the babysitter,
Went home, sat down, and turned
On the local music radio station."

And you've been there ever since.
"How did you know?" I'm God.
"So, do I deserver to stay?" God
Smiled through a frown and avoided
Eye contact by pretending to pick
At the flawless skin of his hands.
I don't know. "What do you mean you
Don't know? You're God. You just
Said you knew everything." I
Never said that God replied smiling.

The old man's granddaughter's husband
Awoke abruptly in a drenching cold
Sweat, reaching over to caress a wife
Who was not there. He got out of bed
And discovered his song to be absent
Of his house, as well. The man's sense of
Time was misconstrued due to his switch
From the day shift to the night shift. She
Must have dropped him off at the day-
Care, forgetting that I was now here.
He sat down on the couch and turned
On the radio to a local classic rock station.