#1
I posted a couple death metal ones quite a while ago, and ever since I've been scared to post one here because my vocals weren't at all developed. The song I'd like critted is called "Countless Seasons" and you can hear it at www.myspace.com/witikometal. Its mostly death metal but it has a sort of jazzy part to it.

EDIT: C4C btw
Originally posted by ForTheOptimists
anal seepage diffiently takes the cake for me. Congratulations the_pick_gnome you are one sick twisted person :]
Last edited by the_pick_gnome at Apr 19, 2008,
#2
Overall I'd say it's pretty decent. You play what you play well, and it's recorded pretty well, it's just the songwriting in general. Not bad by any means, just gets a bit predictable. It's one of those situations where it would have been good condensed down to 5 1/2, maybe 6 minutes. No real advice when it comes to songwriting. Just record or work with whatever sounds fantastic to you. Never settle for mediocre or "just good enough" when it comes to songs.
#4
Thanks for the crits guys. I guess I probably should have cut out where it goes back to the riffs it had earlier, I just sometimes get in a mindset that if I have a really good riff its almost a waste to only use it once (which I know isn't true).

To radioarizona: Which parts were predictable? Do you mean like after the soft part when it gets heavy, and the part where it goes back to riffs that were already used?
Originally posted by ForTheOptimists
anal seepage diffiently takes the cake for me. Congratulations the_pick_gnome you are one sick twisted person :]
#5
Pretty much after 6 minutes, it seemed like you were running out of ideas. It's a good riff, don't get me wrong, but I think it served it's dues when it was played earlier, you know? Like I said, you could probably even just cut it back to the 6 minute mark, adjust some of the structure of the song so that 6 minutes would work, and it'd be all good.

And honestly, that's just a very small gripe. I just put it out there so that my post was somewhat helpful rather than just "Yeah dude it rocked!", haha. Usually when I post a song I'm looking for criticism, not just how good it is, you know? So I try to provide the same type of feedback.
#6
Quote by the_pick_gnome
I just sometimes get in a mindset that if I have a really good riff its almost a waste to only use it once (which I know isn't true).



yeah, that can be a problem, like you write a riff you realy like, and don't wanna just use it once, which is understandable, and you can't be bothered writing another riff to replace the repetition of it, but putting in that little more work/creativity really does pay off. Solid effort though, I'm not badmouthing the song itself, just the structure.
#7
I liked the intro riff alot, but honestly I lost interest at the spacey/jazzy part directly after it. It was well thought out but a bit long for my taste.

The riff after the clean part was really cool, I could hear alot of Opeth influence from that riff. I think at this point the vocals came in also. The vocals weren't bad, but they sounded a little hollow or something.

Overall it was really good, but the vocals could use some work and I thought the jazzy part was kind of lacking.
#8
Thanks a lot for the help guys, I guess my main problem is just how I feel like I have to get the most milage out of every riff, like one of them in there was pretty hard to get down, so it was really fun to play, and I also wanted it to end on the riff it did (a few of those riffs are really old, and I finally figured out how to get the drums for them). And I guess the way I write/record kind of affects it too, I don't usually make demos of my songs, I just have a few riffs, then I make drums for them, record those riffs, then write more riffs and make drums for them, so sometimes I play one riff too long or too short. I actually made a demo for this one up to the end of the soft part, and I felt like I wasn't playing one section of it enough times(4, but I moved it to 8).

Anyway sorry for the wall of text, but thanks again for the help.
Originally posted by ForTheOptimists
anal seepage diffiently takes the cake for me. Congratulations the_pick_gnome you are one sick twisted person :]
#9
I don't know how to critique this properly. Some of it is interesting, with cool melodic ideas, some of it just drifts kind of aimlessly, it's long, but I understand why. Well done on putting it together, cos it's got a fair bit going on, it's obviously something you've put a bit of time into. Sorry I've not got much constructive to say, other than maybe to try and keep things more focused, variations on a stronger theme instead of veering off the main thread and then just coming back to it. Good job though.
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