#1
Not sure whether to post this in the metal forum, I figured it was off topic enough to post in the pit. Some of you may have heard this before, but I got a good laugh out of it .

There is a beautiful princess trapped in a castle, guarded by a dragon. Here is the end of the story with different kinds of metalheads as knights.



* POWER METAL
The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest.


* THRASH METAL
The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princess and F*cks her.


* HEAVY METAL

The protagonist arrives on a Harley, kills the dragon, drinks Jack Daniels and f*cks the princess, then wakes her up in the middle of the night and f*cks her again.


* FOLK METAL
The protagonist arrives with some friends playing accordions, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls asleep (because of all the dancing). Then they all leave... without the princess.


* VIKING METAL
The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty axe, skins the dragon and eats it, f*cks the princess to death, steals her belongings and burns the castle before leaving.


* DEATH METAL

The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, f*cks the princess, f*cks the corpse of the dead dragon, rips out the intestines of the princess, then leaves.


* BLACK METAL
The protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and impales it in front of the castle. Then he f*cks the princess, drinks her blood in a ritual before killing her. Then he impales the princess next to the dragon.


* GORE METAL
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in front of the castle, f*cks the princess and kills her.Then he f*cks the dead body again, slashes her belly and eats her guts. Then he f*cks the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and f*cks it for the last time.


* GRIND METAL

The protagonist arrives, screams something completely undecipherable for about 2 minutes and then leaves...

* DOOM METAL

The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he could never beat him, then he gets depressed and commits suicide.
#2
lol thats great
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#3
..hyes!
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If she takes her pill properly and you still pill out or use a condom, just quit having sex altogether. The damn pill was built so that you can ride bareback and film your own creampie movies afterwards.
#4
Quote by Thebiz

* GORE METAL
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in front of the castle, f*cks the princess and kills her.Then he f*cks the dead body again, slashes her belly and eats her guts. Then he f*cks the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and f*cks it for the last time.


* GRIND METAL

The protagonist arrives, screams something completely undecipherable for about 2 minutes and then leaves...

* DOOM METAL

The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he could never beat him, then he gets depressed and commits suicide.


Those are the only good ones.
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#6
thats funny as hell
when the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace


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#7
thats pretty good
sex, drugs, and rock and roll have turned into aids, needles, and techno..
#8
[quote="Thebiz

* DOOM METAL

The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he could never beat him, then he gets depressed and commits suicide.
That's more like goth metal, or whatever the hell they call Cradle of Filth these days.

Doom Metal would be like:
The protagonist arrives, offers to share his weed and salvia with the dragon and princess, and they all end up tripping balls while listening to Paranoid very very loudly.
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Quote by steven seagull
Justice is this, justice is that...justice is 9 minutes long and recorded in a cupboard full of fluffy pillows
#10
HAIR METAL
The protagonist arrives, parties with the dragon and princess, OD's, and burns out with no fans left.
#11
Quote by mr synyster g
HAIR METAL
The protagonist arrives, parties with the dragon and princess, OD's, and burns out with no fans left.




i see it as:
the protangonist arrives, the dragon confronts him, the dragon dies from inhaling all the hair spray.
#12
Quote by mr synyster g
HAIR METAL
The protagonist arrives, parties with the dragon and princess, OD's, and burns out with no fans left.


More like

The Protagonist arrives, and uses incredible amount of guy-liner, lipgloss and hairspray to destroy the dragon, he then snorts a few lines of coke off the princess's stomach before screwing her while making squeaky orgasm noises.