#1
I angrily glare at the vicious lion
and stare, burning holes
In the lion’s rough fur,
With my fierce, intense scowl.
The lion, he stalks slowly,
Deliberately, like a ravenous buzzard,
Circling it’s prey, it’s next meal.

I ferociously spring up from where I am standing,
The lion, surprised, steps back for a moment,
But quickly leaps from the path of my attack.
I eye him down;
I clench my fists.
I leisurely brush the outpouring sweat
from my forehead.

I, like the forcibly-mannered Eagle,
Jump and soar from my perch;
And like the eagle assaults its rival,
I sink my thick fingers
Into the lion’s coarse fur.
As I clench tighter and harder
Blood begins to seep.

The Lion lets out a roar,
A cry of defeat.
His shoulders slump, feet go limp,
He falls to the ground
With a thunderous Thud!
The Lion now lies motionless,
A victim of the Nazarene, Samson, and his powerful hand.
#2
I angrily glare at the vicious lion
and stare, burning holes
In the lion’s rough fur,
With my fierce, intense scowl.
The lion, he stalks slowly,
Deliberately, like a ravenous buzzard,
Circling it’s prey, it’s next meal.

good imagery invoking. the use of buzzard is..curios not bad though jsut not my style. iono if i'd use it. but mk. angrily.. i think we can find a better word then that in our vast dictionary.

I ferociously spring up from where I am standing,
The lion, surprised, steps back for a moment,
But quickly leaps from the path of my attack.
I eye him down;
I clench my fists.
I leisurely brush the outpouring sweat
from my forehead.

mk good description once again. maybe mention something of the background like.. i notice the small bushes start to encroach on my feet. your pulling us in too much and i feel like i'm getting a bit bored. pull out a little. like Shakespeare in drama's he has comic relief this should serve as a little buffer for the intensity.

I, like the forcibly-mannered Eagle,
Jump and soar from my perch;
And like the eagle assaults its rival,
I sink my thick fingers
Into the lion’s coarse fur.
As I clench tighter and harder
Blood begins to seep.

good. very nice. change some of the imagery keeps it fresh. harder, tighter.. mm i think we can do better. truculent perhaps or contentiously

The Lion lets out a roar,
A cry of defeat.
His shoulders slump, feet go limp,
He falls to the ground
With a thunderous Thud!
The Lion now lies motionless,
A victim of the Nazarene, Samson, and his powerful hand.

mm nice onomatopoeia, nice allusions as well. roar? think bigger.

mm over all it was.. pretty good. great allusions and ect ect i cited it all in the stanza crit's. mm i thought that all these.. descriptions seemed to cloy for me to be honest. just not my style. but over all it was pretty good. iono about flow caz i wanst really payin attnetion to that when i was reading it O.o
but over all gj.. keep at it. crit one of mine?
It's not stalking to watch her sleep if she fell asleep watching a movie.
a silly wind
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(='.'=) LoNg LivE tHe BunNy!
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